


Wolfbann

by TheNocturnalHunter



Category: God Eater | Gods Eater
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Dark Implications, Disaster Waiting To Happen, Emotional Manipulation, Everybody has goals, Gen, Hearing Voices, Insanity, Intrigue, Manipulation, Mental Health Issues, Morally Ambiguous Character, Organized Crime, Other, Paranoia, Protag is not a nice person, Soon someone needs a therapist, Starting Over, Trust Issues, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, backstabbing, i have no life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2018-08-17 08:18:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 61,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8137040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNocturnalHunter/pseuds/TheNocturnalHunter
Summary: It was a scar burnt into her thoughts, as were many other before. Some of them were already faded and forgotten, just like the countless marks marring her small body. The last one, however, was vivid and fresh. Yet, she smiled, eyes glowing in the shadows as she looked up to her possible demise. The voices whispered, the target was set as the contract was established.When you invite the devil into your house, there is nowhere you can run to.





	1. Wolfszeit

**Author's Note:**

> So... This is the first time, I posted something on this side and yeah, I still need to get used to the tag-system here. (Please bear with me, I'm not overly creative in such things.) This is actually a reboot of an older story of mine. It was first planned as a test for myself and was originally never meant to be published but oddly enough, the character grew on me and so, instead of axing the story, I decided to write a reboot. 
> 
> The story revolves around a morally ambiguous character named Lucifer and her interactions with her fellow comrades-in-arms. It will follow the plot of the first God Eater Game (without the Burst Arc) with a few 'liberties' here and there (including ship tease and what not). Yes, I'm aware that her name is a silly choice but I kept it due to personal nostalgia on that part and I won't try to justify it more than that (outside of stupid plot reasons).
> 
> I don't know what I should still say about it, other than:
> 
> Please enjoy.

_Once, we feared the hungry wolves luring at our doorsteps and in our houses._

_Now, we worship the ground where the wolves walk and pave a road with dead gods._

 

_Once, we shut the door to keep the beasts at bay._

_Now, we welcome the wolf and its pack of demons,_

_Since, perhaps, we became beasts ourselves in these turbulent times._

 

_We deny it, even when its bloodshot eyes glare back at us from the mirror._

_Since admitting it, would snuff out the last desperate grasp on humanity we have._

_Since denying it, gives us a sense what we were and what we strive to become again._

 

_I choose to admit._

_Since a wolf can survive where a human cannot._

_Since a human can only be human in the face of a beast._

 

_I am not a human anymore since I discarded the very idea of morals._

_I am the wolf which hunts mortals and immortals alike._

_I am the mirror in which you gaze upon your reflection._

_I am the demon who uncovers your desires and sins._

 

_And yet,_

 

_You invited me into house. You invited me to dine at your table._

_You invited me, despite knowing what I am._

_Since, perhaps, you know that the wolf gazes back from the mirror at you._

_Since, perhaps, you search for a beast to make you human._

_Since, perhaps, we are kindred of similar desires and sins._

 

_But you seem to forget that in these times,_

_You should still fear the hungry wolf in your house._

_Since wolves devour their kin._

 

_But you already knew that, didn't you?_


	2. Schicksal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wounds heal, but scars never fade completely.

# Schicksal

The memory of that day had been imprinted on the very essence of her mind. It was a scar burnt into her thoughts, as were many other before. Some of them already faded and forgotten, just like the countless marks marring her small body. As unsightly as they were, she carried them and their memory with pride, as a lasting trophy of all these battles that she had fought over time and a silent reminder of what was lost and what was carried on.

The last one, however, was vivid and fresh.

The heat of that day was still blistering her skin. The rays of the sun burnt down on the concrete and the hot breeze tinged the air with the thick scent of gunpowder, blood, and burnt flesh. It was an ordeal in itself to even breathe properly but between the taste of falling ash and copper, there was a spark of pleasure and foreboding delight.

The gunshots rang out to the left and to the right of her and the shivering, scared people fell to the ground as if someone cut their strings. The armed soldiers moved closer, reloaded and continued. A bullet grazed her cheek, the blood crawled slowly over her skin and dripped from her chin.

She held up her hands, back turned to the wall and held up her hands to signalize defeat. The wide, ripped sleeves dropped to her elbows, revealing the thin, almost cadaverous arms beneath.

One of them moved closer, a cruelly amused smile on his lips.

She didn’t give him the satisfaction of a scream as he pulled on her messy short blue hair and hauled her to the ground. On her knees, she still held her arms up, only to be greeted by the barrel of a gun. She could feel the warm metal connecting with her jaw and the tremor the hit sent through her body.

The taste of copper was filling her mouth and she could see a couple of stars in her vision. She moved it to check if something was broken. The young woman glanced up, just to see in the black hole of the weapon.

Their intent was clear.

On this day, no prisoners would be taken.

She felt a smile curving up her lips in silent mockery at her executor. He hit her again in response but it earned him nothing more than a chuckle.

There would be no prisoners on either side, then.

Her arms dropped and something behind her assailant began to stir.

Suddenly the farthest soldier’s head was tilted back and something flickered in the sunlight. A gush of warm blood sprayed on the ground, accompanied by a gurgling sound. He fell to his knees and dropped his weapon in a pitiful attempt to stop the liquid escaping his body with both hands.

His comrades looked confused at first, unable to do think or to react, not until the second met the same fate. Their leader turned back to her, bewildered by this sudden turn of events. He barked orders but in the midst of the chaos that ensued, this voice was lost in the screams and ringing gunshots.

In his moment of distraction, she stood up again, a golden cross falling out of her torn shirt and smiling as he watched his whole team being massacred by an enemy he could barely see in the whirling dust and ash.

He brandished his gun towards her again as this action would accomplish to turn the tides in his favor again.

It was so frighteningly simple. It was too easy, too unimpressive for her taste.

A knife found its way to his hand, another in his right thigh. He could just gasp in surprise as her left foot caught his waist, sending him to the ground. The gun fell out of his hand and tumbled out of his reach. Cold, green eyes looked down at him as he tried to crawl away from her.

With a simple gesture of her, gloved, dark hands grabbed him and prevented him from moving. His face was pushed into the dirt and his hands secured behind his back. A couple of hooded figures in the whirling dust looked at her, waiting for an order.

It was almost pitiful to see such a proud man like this but the punishment was far from over. Too many sins, too many crimes, and too many deaths had happened by his hand and she would make sure, that he would be reminded of each and one of them.

As he started to spit swear words at her, she placed a finger on her split up lips.

Suddenly he stopped moving, something loudly cracked and she smiled almost delighted at his surprised expression. Then he seemed to realize what just happened as he saw his right arm dangling limply from his side, useless and twisted in an unnatural angle.

He started to scream in agony, in fear, and in surprise. She bowed down to him, taking his tear stricken face softly into her hands.

“Pay what is due, sinner.” She whispered into his ear.

His voice cracked multiple times as he tried to speak. “W…W-who are…you?”

She smiled sweetly, rubbing his bloodstained, sweaty cheeks with her thumbs. An almost loving gesture by the one who was going to be his undoing but she wanted to drag this game out a little bit longer. But alas and luckily for him, she didn’t have the time.

“I have many names but unfortunately for you, death is not one of them.”

The young woman let him go and he was dragged away, the screams drowning out in the distance and swallowed up by the crackling fire. Dozens of corpses were littering the ground, some of them fighting for their life in these last antagonizing moments.

Life was so quickly extinguished and yet it took so long.

 _“Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, dona eis requiem sempiternam.”_  Multiple voices whispered and she repeated it, kissing her cross in silent prayer.

This had turned into a display of useless carnage as this battle that was already lost. It was a truly pitiful, almost laughable display. But that was exactly that, what people do when they are driven into a corner: Clawing against the walls, against each other and abandon all modesty and morals in a desperate last attempt to save something which was ultimately in vain. They couldn't leave this hell as one step outside this hell would lead directly into another. 

Outside these broken walls and the immortal creatures which were waiting in this world would rip the brave fool apart. The raging Gods, they called them. Unbeatable, unkillable, immortal and always hungry.

It was such a strange world, filled with so much death and destruction, which still was struggling for survival like a drowning human struggled for breath. This struggle was an endearing process to watch as mankind still refused to disappear and despite the odds, fought its way back up again.

A game with a clear winner would be a boring ordeal after all. The rush of ecstasy came with beating the odds stacked against oneself. 

The voices became louder and she could feel the excitement rising with each heart beat as insanity knocked at the door to her mind.

In the end, there was nothing more exciting than dancing with death in its most primal and cruel form.

 _“Come and join us.”_  The voices beckoned her and she smiled. There was nowhere to go than just forward into the unforeseen future and probably her own demise. It didn’t matter since this insanity was beyond reason and explanation. When she had to die then she would indulge herself into this bloodcurdling scene. 

She stepped forward into the flames, letting the smell of carnage engulf her being as a smile formed on her bloody lips.

 

* * *

 

Instead of death, another new scar was added to her collection which dug itself deeper with each passing day. The memory would fade, she knew that, but the scar would stay like they always did. They captured her, they let her alive, even though she had killed and maimed so many.

But they didn’t know what she had done and probably never would. In their eyes, she was probably just a young individual caught up in this madness and this was some pitiful attempt to ease their conscience. Her hand touched the cold glass as she watched the sun dawn over the horizon and disappear behind mighty walls that sheltered the humans from the threat of the outside.

One of the last bastions of humanity, they called it and named it after the wolf who devoured gods. Somehow it made her smirk. Humanity's haughtiness was seemingly harder to kill than most of humanity itself.

The scar began to itch at the sight but she kept watching, arms crossed tightly before her chest. She heard steps coming from behind and she turned around, seeing a tall male with a white coat. He was well dressed, his blonde hair was neatly combed back albeit a couple of strains hung in his face.

“ _Then I looked and saw a pale horse. Its rider’s name was Death, and Hades followed close behind_.” The voices whispered again and she couldn’t help but smile. The mental note that death had swapped his horse for a fancy coat was an amusing thought as was the picture of him riding on one of this animals. It was certainly something that would suit this kind of proud man.

Her green eyes followed his movement.

“You have recovered well.” His deep voice resounded in the room.

“…I always do.” She answered, glancing at him shortly. “I have got the devil’s luck, so to speak.”

“Indeed. Did you think about my offer?”

The young woman was silent at first and just looked at him. A familiar feeling called for her attention as their eyes met and she had noticed it a couple of times already. It made her blood boil in her veins and her scars itch to an almost unbearable degree. She knew that kind of person all too well but she kept herself under control.

“Director Schicksal,” She started, letting his strange name roll over her tongue. “What you are planning to do is a dangerous game to play.”

“Sometimes, high risks must be taken.” The director answered swiftly and without hesitation or a hint of expression on his face and it made her eyes narrow ever so slightly to not give away the impression that she had grown suspicious of his intentions. It was just playing the usual game for her and probably for him too.

It was a conversation with hypocritical politeness, just to appear civilized. In reality, she had no choice other than this or death and both were aware of it.

What he needed a willing test object and she would be providing her body.

When he needed a soldier, she would offer him her expertise.

In the end, she agreed to his terms and as he left, something in the deep of her green glass-like eyes moved.

“ _Oh pater noster, ne nos inducas in tentatione.”_  She whispered. “I smell a sinner…” The woman chuckled and looked bemused. “…How pitiful. So  _desperate_.”

The scars on her body itched and asked for release but she ushered the thoughts out of her head.

It seemed like she was going to dance with death again.

_And the devil began to smile as the golden cross glimmered in the dying of the light._

 


	3. Der Warg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the devil settles into the new abode, she meets her new team leader. Despite the formal and friendly banter, both silently agree that the other is a sign of bigger troubles to come.

A tall, dark-haired man chewed on the filter of his cigarette while his right hand flipped through the loose papers on the clipboard. Then he halted, staring at one page in particular with his green eyes before he just sighed and shook his head.

"So, the whole New-Type experiment was a success." He mumbled under his breath.

_“Of course it succeed.”_ He added in his thoughts. _“With all the money they have pumped into this project, it would be a disaster if they hadn’t.”_

The news should have filled him with some sort of relief. With every scientific accomplishment - no matter how small - humanity’s chance of surviving this hostile world grew. It should be a matter of celebration that they succeeded in breeding another strain of Bias-Cells that are more resilient and safer than last. In the past, he would probably greet these news with a bright smile and a quick prayer to god or whatever granted this to succeed.Yet, he couldn’t feel anything. No happiness, no relief, just a nagging thought in the back of his head.

_“How many died for this experiment to succeed?”_

His eyes narrowed as he lighted up his cigarette. The flame of his lighter flickered his vision for a moment longer as his mind traveled to this dark place that had grown steadily over the last decade.

“Yes.” The voice of a woman answered. He looked at back into the eyes of the same color as his own and a pale oval face that was framed by long black curled hair. “And we have the honor of training said New Type.”

She didn’t sound all too happy about it either but then again, his older sister never sounded everything else than commanding or cold. For her, it was just another day and at worst, just another annoyance she had to deal with when training the recruits. A new type of God Eater was valuable and God have mercy on them if they screwed up and got them hurt. His sister was not known for giving out extras or being merciful. He could say from personal experience that she was anything but although he knew that she just meant well.For him, however, this complicated matters a thousand fold in ways she could never imagine. He rubbed his chin and lent back to place his free arm on top of the lime green sofa he was sitting on.

“The director really trusts me to not screw that up.” He said with a hum and a crooked smile on his lips. The slight sarcastic tune in his voice was not lost on her, however and she shot him a glare.

“Watch it, Lindow. Just because this is a private conversation, you are not allowed to...” Lindow cut her off with a lazy hand-wave.

“Relax, Sis.” He took a drag from his cigarette and exhaled a small cloud of smoke. “Just stating the obvious. Throwing a rookie onto the front-lines from the get-go is a daring move.”

She licked over her full lips and he was fully aware that she wanted to lecture him about not to be so condescending with their superior but much to his surprise, she just sighed and rubbed her forehead. He frowned slightly at her silence.“It is.” His sister agreed. “But your unit has the highest survivability rates.”

“Still a twenty percent chance that she’s going to die out there.” Lindow stomped the burnt out cigarette into the ashtray and fished out another from his jacket pocket. With a grumble to himself, he tried to recall if this was the second or third cigarette ever since this conversation started. He ran his hand through his short raven hair and sighed.

"Aside from...” He started and then stopped himself. He shook his head before continuing to speak. “Whatever...You have a point.”

“Aside from what?” One slender eyebrow furrowed as she looked at him and she had this specific look in her eyes that she always had when she suspected him of doing something stupid.

“A lot of new mutations have been spotted. If we are unlucky then...” He didn’t end his sentence and he didn’t need to. She understood what he meant. He could keep her safe to some extend but he couldn’t safe the rookie from everything. However, it wasn’t the new Aragami that caused him worry but he could not tell her that.

“That’s a risk he’s willing to take.” The woman retorted with a sigh. She wasn’t happy about it either.

“Right. Sounds like him.” Lindow shook his head and decided to drop this topic as he took up the clipboard. “What can you tell me about her, Tsubaki? Relatives? Medical records?”

There were some things that he needed to know, especially if she suffered from psychological trauma or health problems. A mental breakdown on the field could lead to a bloody disaster if he wasn’t prepared for that to happen. Aside from that, the lack of information was more than suspicious.

"Unfortunately for you, there isn't more to go on than this. The director informed me that’s because she isn’t a citizen."

Lindow knitted his eyebrows together. "She isn't?"

"No, and he was very curt about the circumstances of her recruitment."Tsubaki reaffirmed.

"It isn't that unusual that they take some people from the outside in when they can become God Eaters but…" He didn't know what to do with that knowledge. Of course, people from the outside have next to none documents to their name but still, there should be at least a medical record and psychological profile attached to her. People from the outside that were taken in had a stricter check-up regiment to go through than Fenrir citizens. They were so strict in fact that he called them borderline paranoid.But there was nothing. Someone with power had meddled with the procedure and knowing the upper management in Fenrir, Lindow could help to feel a growing sense of dread in his guts. Fenrir politics were a deadly mess to be involved in. The smoke escaped Lindow's mouth before he took another deep drag to calm his raging and uncomfortable thoughts with another dose of nicotine. To his dismay, it didn't help.

He needed another approach, or something that helped him to evaluate how dangerous this situation now was for him and others.Lindow handed her the clipboard.

“You still have the vids from training?” He was hopeful that she was at least allowed to keep them.

"I have already sent them you." The answer eased some tension that had built up inside of him. There was still a way.

"Of course, you did. Why do I even ask? My big sister is always prepared." He winked at her playfully and he was met by an icy scowl.

"Lindow." He looked up to her as he heard his name spoken in a cold, almost commanding manner. Her face was now adorned by a worried frown.

"It will be fine, Big Sis." He tried to reassure her with a smile. His sister just sighed deeply.

"I know you, Lindow and I'm not going to ask but you look exactly like that one time, mother caught you with one hand in the ration supplies."

Her keen observation and knowledge about his behavior almost earned her a defeated wince from him. She wasn't even wrong - never had been in that aspect - but both knew he would deny it even when caught with his hand in the cookie jar. It was a discussion which would go in circles and thus it was, in his humble opinion, a waste of breath to talk about it.

Defensively, Lindow held his hands up. "I don't feel guilty about anything. Really. Everything is  _fine_."

She just looked at him, her expression not changing even an inch. His sister wasn't believing him or even a word of what he had said. He had always been the reckless, scheming sort of child who would do something mischievous behind her back, only to show the most innocent smile he could muster later on.With a long and drawn out sigh, she rubbed her right temple in small circles to soften the assault of an incoming migraine on her mind. Then she strode in his direction, halting just right by his side. Without even a hint of warning, the clipboard in her hands found its way on his head with a hearty smack that resonated through the room.

Lindow winced and rubbing the offended area.

"Stop calling me 'Big Sister'." She grumbled under her breath although she couldn't hide the satisfied glint in her eyes.

He shot her a look and grimaced as she walked out of the room and left him with a splitting headache.Despite the pain, he just chuckled. Tough love, he thought but he wouldn’t trade his stoic sister for another. He took a look at his cigarette that had already reduced itself to ashes without him noticing. With a dismayed expression, he flicked the stump into the ashtray with the others and exhaled.His hand wandered towards his pocket but then he resisted the urge to take another. At this pace, he would burn through his monthly rations in a manner of a week or even less.

He rubbed his tired eyes.

Everything was growing over his head. The missions, the reports, the special assignments and now the order to babysit a rookie while doing all of the rest was just the tip of the iceberg of work he had to do.It didn’t ease his mind that this kid was probably handpicked by someone as well. It could speak for their talent but experience had taught him to be very careful with that sort of thinking. The only guy he knew that held enough power in this branch was the director himself.

However, the director never bothered much with the recruitment of God Eaters aside from the public speeches he gave here and there. There was no need to either for special recruitment either since people who are able to become God Eater are sometimes conscripted by law. Aside from that, the only way an outsider could become a citizen was to have the ability to become a God Eater. So there were always enough God Eater around and if they weren’t, then they imported them from other branches.It wouldn’t make lots of sense for the director to go the extra mile to recruit a specific person. She would have to have something that caught the director’s interest and that was never good news. The question was just what could the director gain from an absolute loyal, personal God Eater that nobody knew about? What could he gain from withholding every document that could prove that she existed?

Lindow narrowed his eyes slightly and then the ever-growing feeling of dread returned as his eyes suddenly flickered to the empty pages.

"Shit." He mumbled to himself.

The director  _knew_.

* * *

 

Nine days of tests, training and examinations went by like a flash. The young woman rubbed the stiff muscles of her neck in small circles in hopes of easing them a little bit. Sleep hadn’t come easily for her in this quiet place, even after a couple of days. She was too used to noise, to footsteps going up and down the hallway and to be woken up by a shadow looming over her bed. The silence irritated her and it made her skin crawl like an foreboding omen.

Only the dead and the ones who delivered it to their victims were truly silent. Sometimes she woke up in the middle of night, expecting to see a weapon or a person standing in her room but found nothing. As useful as this kind of paranoia was to her, it started to drain her body and she hadn’t a lot of energy to give at the moment.

Especially on her first day where she would go on the field and meet the people she was working with, she wanted her mind sharp and cautious. She checked herself in the mirror, readjusting the collar of her black uniform for the third time to make sure that she looked presentable enough.

Her reflection looked back at her with a frown. Her oval face still showed signs of having suffered from severe hunger pangs in the past and her high cheekbones only underlined the almost sunken cheeks. With the dark rings under her eyes that stood out due to her sickly pale skin and her stoic expression, she looked like death incarnate. In any other case, she would take the comparison as a compliment but not under these circumstances.She wanted to keep her head low and not stick out like a sore thumb by scaring people on her first day. What was worse, she had nothing to wear to cover her face up. With a sigh, the young woman looked herself in the mirror and thought of a way to look a little more social.

Friendly and social people often carried a smile on their lips. Her reflection looked doubtful if that was a good idea to try but better having tried than not. She slowly curved her lips up and tried to produce a convincingly friendly smile.And ended up with a horrific grimace with the complete opposite effect. With a frustrated groan, she hid her face behind both of her hands. She was once told that her smile was horrifying but she believed that it had more to do with the fact when she smiled not the smile itself.

“Smiling is out of the question then.” She said to herself with a sigh and then inwardly chided herself for even trying to come across as even remotely normal. They will get used to it and pass her behavior off as strange but not threatening with time.

“Like that ever worked...”

Her eyes trailed towards the cell phone that she had placed besides the mirror to check the time. Very carefully, she took it into her hands as if it was going to break under her touch. She never had one before and she knew that they didn’t come cheap, so she treated it with uttermost care.A thought that she almost betrayed the second it buzzed in her hands and she almost dropped it out of surprise. Quickly her hands caught it again before gravity could run its course and ruined the new item. She let out a relieved sigh, glancing at the screen to see what was wrong with it. A message symbol was on the screen and she paused shortly, eyes trailing away to remember how she could access it. Then she carefully just tried each button out until she reached the desired effect.Her eyes narrowed and she took her time to read the message carefully, word for work. Her ability for reading and writing Japanese was far from being fluent, even though she tried to train herself in it almost every day. It had become a beyond frustrating past-time activity, as things that escaped her grasp of knowledge annoyed her beyond reason.

After the third try to decipher the message, she got the gist of it. The man in white wanted to see her.The young woman sighed. Of course, he wanted to see her before the first mission for whatever reason. Her circumstances of recruitment aside, she wasn’t really keen on playing the obedient dog from the start but she would have to. People like him were easily deceived by absolute obedience to their cause but she needed to be careful. He would certainly grow suspicious when she just threw herself at his feet and worshiped the ground he walked on.Besides that, she didn't want to stroke his ego more than she needed to. He had more than enough in his way how he carried himself and how he was absolute certain that she would follow his every word. She brushed her personal feelings aside.

He waited. She would come. He would order. She would follow.

A game as old as time for her but one that bored her more than excited her.

As she left her room with steady steps, she pictured the shortest path to his office in her head before heading to the elevator at the end of the hallway. As the doors closed, she silently hoped that it wouldn’t get stuck on her way up. She didn’t like closed doors or small rooms, especially when they were dark. The thought alone sent an unpleasant shiver down her spine and made her body tense. As the machinery moved under her feet, she felt like jumping out of her skin for a moment, holding her breath and silently praying that it wouldn’t malfunction. She pressed her eyelids together and waited, quietly saying to herself that she should take the stairs next time.As it stopped and the doors opened again she exhaled and relaxed a little bit.

After another deep breath she exited the elevator and walked down the long corridor that lead to the director’s office. Just as she reached her goal halfway, a young, taller male stepped out of a room to the side. The blue hood of his long jacket was deeply drawn into his face and the shadows obscured most of it aside from his eyes that carried a clear blue color. Her look flickered to his arm.

A huge bracelet was fastened around his wrist. A fellow God Eater. His blue eyes moved shortly towards her, his glare cold and piercing as if he was trying to threaten her. She was trying not to scoff at this pitiful display although she found the idea that he tried to intimate her of all people just plain adorable. Their meeting just lasted a moment, a couple of quick seconds as she walked past him but it was enough to throw a taunting smirk at him.

She heard him stop in his tracks and a shuffle of clothes. She could feel his eyes resting on her back but she didn’t care and decided that she offered him enough attention for the day.

Other things were more important now.

She knocked at the door and waited a minute before she entered the office. Her eyes quickly moved to the huge wooden desk where the man in white sat, still was focused on his work. The young woman stepped closer, placing the left hand balled into a fist across her chest like a salute and bowed slightly."Director, you have called for me?" She announced herself with a steady, calm voice.He flinched slightly but he slowly looked up at her as if he was trying to gloss over the fact that he hadn’t heard her at all. She forced her lips into a thin line to not show another amused smirk. He seemed to be the type who was, while working, not very observant of his surroundings. A detail, she noted, that could be useful later on.

"Lucifer." He called her name, folding his hands together in front of him. A deep chuckle rumbled through his chest. A chuckle with no life in it. "It takes some time to get used to it. This isn't exactly a name for a woman."

"You are not the first to note that." Lucifer retorted. "And I'm sure, you won't be the last to point it out."The amused faint smile vanished and he looked at her coolly.

"As you might have guessed – and I apologize for my bluntness – I couldn't care less what you call yourself as long as you are able to bring results."

"Which I certainly aim for, Director Schicksal." She kept her look on him steady, her upper body slightly bowed to underline her words. A sign of obedience. He seemed pleased with her reaction.

"I have to admit…This kind of discipline is refreshing." The director complimented, the faint smile showing up on his features again. A compliment that she didn’t like but she tried to keep her expression under control.

"Pardon me?" She asked, trying to look confused and taken off-guard by his statement instead.

"As you might have noticed, God Eaters tend to be young and with that age, some of them tend to be a little bit…" He paused shortly, searching for the right word. "Rebellious…And even if some are decent fighters, they take orders outside the battlefield not quite seriously, I'm afraid. It can be quite exhausting."Lucifer stayed quiet and waited for him to continue. The director folded his hands in front of him again. "Due to your stable condition and marvelous results on your battle simulation, I decided that we will appoint you to active duty. You will be transferred to the First Unit under the leader with the name Lindow Amamiya."

"…Amamiya…" She had heard this name before. "Is he related to training supervisor Tsubaki?"

"Yes, they are siblings. She retired to be an instructor. A pity, she was an exceptional sniper."

One of her slender eyebrows rose slightly. To her knowledge, people who could become God Eaters weren't many and that’s why Fenrir treated them good, better than the general populace. That also meant that a God Eater couldn’t leave their duty easily outside from an injury that was too devastating for the Oracle Cells to mend it. Tsubaki hadn’t shown any signs of injury and seemed healthy and young. There was no reason to pull someone like that from the front.For a moment, Lucifer wanted to ask to satisfy her curiosity but then she thought it would be out of place and none of her concern.

"Anything that I should know about my superior?" Lucifer inquired instead.

"He is a very easy going man who climbed the ranks quite fast due to his fighting and leading capabilities. In fact, his unit holds the highest survivability rate."There was a hint of annoyance and tiredness in his voice that he didn't even bother to cover up. She reacted with a frown but decided not to pry into the subject. At first, she needed to test the water before she could put her nose anywhere where it, for certain, didn't belong.

"When should I meet him?"

"Your first mission is scheduled in an hour. So it's best to wait for him at the mission counter. If he has the decency to show up on time, that is. Now, if you will excuse me…"

"I will take my leave then." She bowed again.

“Ah, and Lucifer?”

“Yes?”

“Discipline is of uttermost importance. Not following it might lead to punishment. Even though Mr. Amamiya might be more forgiving in these matters, others aren’t. Don’t forget that.”“Of course, director.”

She bowed again before she left. This meeting was just a common useless courtesy call. He called her, told her what she already did know aside from the name of her new superior and kicked her out.

But it was more. He wanted to remind her that disobedience would be punished. He knew the grip he had on her and she knew that he would discard her if she wouldn’t live up to expectations. They didn’t need to speak about it directly.He had reminded her often enough before that it was his well-meant intention saved her life. She belonged to him through his matter of circumstance or so he believe. She exhaled the air audibly through her nose as she walked down the stairs.She agreed to become his test subject. That much was true and she wasn’t breaking her word. She never promised him to be his tool, however, and she couldn’t give her life if she had none. A small oversight that would end in a disaster for him. The question was how this disaster would look for him.

With a sigh, Lucifer tilted her head.There were still so many paths to take that she couldn't decide which one was the best and most enjoyable to go.As her feet finally reached the last flight of stairs towards the mission corner, she decided to take a little detour and find a spot away from the bustling groups of God Eaters that wandered around here. A perfect place to hide, watch and listen and to slip away if she deemed it necessary. It calmed her mind if she knew that she could escape a situation if she wanted to. Her eyes flickered to their faces every once in a while to memorize them. Their chatter was incoherent and loud, so there wasn’t much to learn from that. Instead, she tried to learn from their gestures and almost twisted her face in annoyance as she noticed that they didn’t shy away from a pat on the back or shoulder.

Lucifer wasn’t exactly comfortable with physical contact, not after years of metaphorical and literal backstabbing but she told herself to just get used to it. Adapting and coping common behavior was crucial to get accustomed to people and win their trust.So she watched and memorized movement or specific habits. If she couldn’t smile, she needed other ways to express that she didn’t mean any harm other than doing nothing. Right as her mind tried to set up another plan, a familiar shiver moved up her neck. Her muscles tensed in response. Someone was watching her. Her gaze searched for a pair of eyes on her in the masses. Then her eyes trailed up the stairs and found the culprit that caused this uncomfortable feeling to rise up inside of her.

A man with raven hair was standing on top of the stairs and was looking directly at her. He shot her a smile. It was a bright one with a note of mischievous intent.It took not even a moment and she felt like she wasn’t going to particularly like him for reasons that she couldn’t explain. Maybe he reminded her of a person of the past, maybe it was just the smile or the feeling it gave off but in the end, it didn’t matter. The girl with the red hair who was working at the mission corner looked up from her monitor.

"Ah, Lindow, the director said if I see you that…"

"Tell him that you didn't see me." He cut her off with the same, unchanging smile.

_"Ignoring orders without missing a smile."_ A shadow whispered in her ear, the voice sounded like an entanglement of various others that it was hard to tell if it was male or female. _"The prey will be angry. Maybe it wants us to keep an eye on the trouble maker and teach it some obedience."_

_"A sign of trouble. Too much of a pain to hunt, too little payoff. But could mean much more trouble later if left uncontrolled."_  Another hushed voice chimed in, filling her thoughts with all those uncomfortable outcomes such people had caused her in the past.

She agreed. Under normal circumstances, she would avoid such people but the name gave her pause. He shared the name with her new superior.Retreat was not an option now. He came closer at her and the smile spread across his lips.

Tall, with broad shoulders, handsome features and a green eye that watched her with interest while the other was hidden behind strains of his dark hair. The smell of smoke clung to his clothes and made her recoil slightly.

"Well, I expected someone bigger." He opened the conversation and she hardly could stifle an annoyed growl. Everything inside of her head whispered and warned her of him. "I mean for someone called Lucifer, I expected at least a tall man with red eyes, horns and…" He froze mid-sentence as she just looked at him with a growing scowl on her face. The man rubbed his neck.

"Sensitive topic, huh?"

She didn’t answer. She wanted him to leave but he wouldn’t. She knew that and she knew that he would stay with her through a longer period of time. Her superior, her leader and her teacher, she had to deal with him.

"And a quiet one. Alright. How about we get going then. Aragami don't kill themselves…At least, not how we want them to. My name is Lindow, by the way, and I'm not one for formalities and something like that, so Lindow is just fine."

"Or Big Boss, if that fits more your taste." A woman with short black hair descended the stairs in something that looked more like a dress meant for dancing than a military uniform.

Lucifer couldn't help but frown.It seemed to be popular to dress in a way that pronounced certain body parts. Just seconds earlier, she had spotted a man who walked around with an open jacket with very exotic colors and nothing underneath it and neon-colored shorts to underline his lack of taste.

Maybe it was a custom among God Eaters that she missed somewhere between the incredibly huge weapons and the fact that they all were basically genetically modified humans. Probably because armor wouldn't do anything against Aragami teeth and would just hinder their movements in battle. Then again, the long blade she had was almost as long as she was tall."It's very illogical behavior." A whisper commented her train of thought. "But then again, we are hearing voices. So we shouldn't question it."The voice inside her head had a point.Lucifer's eyes resumed watching the friendly banter in front of her. The woman's name was Sakuya and in the same unit as her and judging her actions and behavior, she didn't have a shred of respect for her superior. No, Lucifer rephrased the thought immediately. It was more a talk between friends than really a strictly professional relationship. With a teasing smile and a pat on his back, Sakuya excused herself and wished them good luck on their first mission. He looked after her, maybe a little longer than it was appropriate.

"Well, now my picture of the big and respected leader is ruined, isn't it?" He said and chuckled to himself while she didn't even see the need to answer that. With a sigh, she pushed herself off the wall and headed to the God Arc Storage.

This was going to be a very long day. 

* * *

 

Lindow shouldered his massive God Arc and calmly looked how his new rookie took the Orgetail apart. She learned quite quickly that the underside and feet of the Aragami were its weak points. He watched her move and fluently dodge the spiked, flat tail.

The creature stumbled and fell to the side, helplessly trying to get back on its two feet. It screeched at her but she had none of it and just shoved the blade into its jaw without hesitation, breaking and severing it completely from the rest of heavy armored head. She was merciless and precise with her eyes just on the goal instead of noting the pathetic dying screams of the Aragami. The dark creature of her God Arc darted out and immediately ripped the glowing core out of its body to end it.His eyes narrowed. Her expression was stoic and unreadable. There were many people he had trained, some smiling, some not knowing what emotion to express and conflicted, some staring with hatred at the Aragami corpse and some like her, how just do their job and had no hard feelings about it.The last one was rare, especially for a person her age. Those were those kids who were already conditioned to accept horrible sights and things, sometimes having the emotions traumatized out of them. Maybe that was the reason why she didn’t speak.

Her movements underlined his suspicions. When they moved, she looked for his silent signs, following them without questioning what they meant. A feat that often those of militarily families had as the God Eater training was not thorough enough that rookies could handle all of them from the get-go. He almost always did use more complicated signs for fun because of the confused looks he would receive from fresh rookies.But she got their meaning first try and didn’t even utter a question. Another thing that hinted a military upbringing was how she tackled her first Aragami. She had circled around it, searching for a blind spot and then, when receiving the order, she attacked. Not that unusual in theory since many tried to do that. The difference was to pull it off as sneaking and having patience was not often skills new God Eaters had.The director could tell him what he wanted but he won't buy the lie that that kid never had something to do with the military. He suppressed a wince at the thought that she might be raised as a child solider, or for the specific intention to be a God Eater in the future.Lucifer looked over her God Arc, fingertips trailing gently over the bloodstained edge. She frowned, one finger gliding over the edge and then looked displeased. Then her gaze turned to him.

"Is there a way to sharpen a God Arc?" She asked.

Lindow almost choked. There were a lot of questions which rookies had after their first kill, ranging from if they were more to if they had done well. Some waited even for a compliment and this kid was asking how she could sharpen her weapon.That confirmed his suspension more or less. Her frown deepened as he coughed.

“Was that question silly?” She inquired.

“N-No, just...” Unexpected. “Not the reaction that I usually get. You should ask the mechanic for that and be nice to them about it, they take care of our only lifeline out there.”

The young woman turned away from him, looking over the blade and gave it a few swings. "Good. It is irritating when a blade doesn't cut because it is dull."

"You can still crush an Aragami to death with it." He pointed out and took a cigarette out of his pocket, still observing her. She was testing its weight.

"True, but I doubt the bigger ones will be so easy to defeat." She said. Then her eyes narrowed and she grimaced. Lindow was immediately alarmed and looked her over from injuries that he could have missed but instead their gazes locked and he paused.The look in her eyes told him that she was suddenly on high alert. He tried to concentrate on their surroundings. There were no Aragami, so he wasn’t sure what caught her attention.

"Something wrong?"

"I smelled smoke." She stated simply and pointed at his cigarette."Oh, sorry. You don't like the smell? If you want, I can…"

"No. It is fine." Lucifer closed her eyes and swallowed. It was hard to tell if she was just trying to be stubborn or if she really didn't care.Before he could inquire about it, she continued.

"I didn't know many who actually smoked, so I associate this smell with something else."

Lucifer probably meant fire.

He took a long drag from his cigarette. "Bad experience?"

Lindow could see how her grip around the handle tensed. He took it as a yes even if she didn’t verbally affirm it. He noted this reaction down on his mental list. Lucifer and fire didn’t seem to go well together, better keep her away from it until he was sure about it. He glanced at his cigarette and suddenly felt a little bit guilty that he continued smoking anyway. So he dropped it on the ground and stomped it out. She watched him.

“That wasn’t necessary.” Lucifer pointed out. “I’m fine with it.”

“If I get credits for every time, I heard that...I would be a rich man.” He gave her a shrug. Whoever she was or whatever she was doing here, he wasn’t going to be an asshole and make her stay unpleasant. “Perhaps I should quit them anyway. Not a very healthy thing to do, you know.”

“Does it matter if it’s healthy or not? It’s not like God Eaters have a long life expectancy either way.” Her rather brutally honest retort had him chuckle slightly.

“No, but you still should take care of your body. A sick God Eater isn’t something we need out here.”

“Naturally. My point is that life’s short and should be enjoyed. If you need cigarettes for that...be my guest.”

“Well, for someone who says that, you sure don’t look like you enjoy much.”

She gave him a breathy chuckle, much to his delight. At least another sound than a soft, stoic voice on a face with the same expression.“I’m not the most expressive person, I will admit that and I think that the matter of my recruitment doesn’t help my case much. People are naturally distrusting towards a person who can’t socialize like them and has no information to their name.” Lucifer showed him a knowing smirk and everything in his body tensed.

She guessed that he knew about the lack of information, perhaps because he was her leader now. Instead of hiding, or letting it fall under the table until he addressed it, she was the one to openly admit it. It took a couple of seconds for Lindow to regain his composure. He smirked a little bit, but it probably came across as too hollow and forced."I wouldn't say that. You seem like an interesting person. A little bit strange, sure, but hey, who isn’t?”

Lucifer just shook her head. “I know that you lie out of courtesy. I appreciate the thought but it’s not needed. I’m not a city dweller, so it’s natural that people are suspicious of me. I’m not mad about it.”

That came across as awfully honest even though he was not sure if she really said the truth. She didn’t seem bothered by her standing or that she outed herself, quite the opposite. She stood steady-feast with a calm expression in front of him. But what did she want to reach with admitting that, right here and now? Maybe she was worried. He couldn’t tell. She wasn’t emoting much to give him the hint that he was right. He just went with it as if she were unsure of what to make of her situation.

“Look, God Eaters come from all ways of life. Some don’t have the nicest of stories to tell, some were even criminal in the past. I don’t care for that. Just do your job, follow the rules and be civil and we will get along just fine.” He tried to ease the tension between them with a smile. “I get that you are worried but I’m not going to pressure you to talk if you don’t want to.”

“That’s a noble sentiment.” He wasn’t sure if her statement was meant as a compliment or not. “If you have any questions then...”

“Just one.” Lindow interjected. “Do you have any other name besides Lucifer?”

Lucifer blinked, taken aback for a moment. She probably didn’t expected that from him.

"Even if I do, why should I tell you that?"

"…Don't know." He shrugged his shoulders again. "Because I asked nicely?”

She just threw him a look and sighed. “The ‘puppy-look’ doesn’t work on me, Mr. Amamiya.”

“It was worth a try.” He mumbled and rubbed his chin. Then he hummed. “Is it Rita?”

"Pardon me?"

"No? Then how about Yuri?"

"Couldn't you just call me…” She started and was promptly interrupted by him again.

"Then Sakura? No, that name doesn’t fit you, I guess. Sayuri? Am I closer with this one?”It was amusing to catch her off-guard with this. The tension dissolved as she just looked at him with a deep frown on her face, not really knowing how to deal with this situation. Then her stoic expression returned, this time with a hint of annoyance.

“Not even close, Mr. Amamiya.” The young recruit answered, almost challenging him with a sudden smirk gracing her features.

This was the beginning of a very interesting relationship.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first official meeting between Lucifer and Lindow is a little bit rocky and tense, but Lucifer isn't interested in a fight and Lindow (the nice guy that he is) would rather give the benefit of the doubt than antagonize her right from the start. If that relationship remains that peaceful is to be seen as the director has his own plans which could meddle quite a bit with them and their respective goals.


	4. Soldatenleben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things change, some things don't. It's all a matter of being willing to adapt to the new, even though the old way will always be there.

The days began to string together as the novelty of the first slain god began to turn into a daily occurrence. There were, however, small little tidbits of her new life that she still had to get used to.

With a grumble, she slowly picked the glass shards out of the skin of her hand and placed them onto a handkerchief that she had spread out on the table. That was the second glass, she unintentionally had crushed in her hand in a span of almost two weeks.

Silently she cursed as she felt the wounds closing even though she wasn’t finished with picking the offending objects out of the cuts. Her movements hastened, mumbling under her breath that she didn’t want to heat a knife and then try to pry out the rest. The experience of having to dig around skin with heated metal was highly unpleasant for her, high pain resistance non-withstanding. The memory alone sent a tremor through her fingertips.

But it was better than risking an infection. The pain was better than being confined in a bed, wasting in the dark because of illness. The thought made her fingers twitch as she dropped the last shard onto the bloody fabric. Her other hand touched her throat and felt how her muscles moved as she swallowed.

The smell of her own blood stung in her nose. Heavy, copper with a hint of iron. She inhaled it deeply, tasting it on her tongue. Not long ago, she could taste it almost daily or trace its smell in the air. A sign of her rapidly approaching demise. A logical conclusion of her lifestyle and the fate that she had accepted.

She wouldn’t have struggled if she had died back then but she didn’t. Now she was paraded around like a well-groomed pet of a new breed God Eater. The director monitored her successes closely, called for her, asked questions and sent her away with the same underlining message.

Her life was not _hers_.

It was his _mercy_ that got her here, his _confidence_ in her abilities and she should give what she could to pay him back. Body, mind and perhaps the life that she didn’t even own for his secret plan and purposes.

She doubted he would go so far for a run of the mill God Eater, especially if he had been warned by the others. Her captors probably told him to not throw his lot in with a murderer, probably told him the tales of her exploits while being interrogated.

He was not deterred by that. Maybe he saw use in her other...qualities.

Still, his insistence that he had an iron grip was laughable at best. If she hadn’t any kind of self-restraint, she would have laughed into his face for his audacity of thinking that he could control her.

But alas, that made him so interesting to hunt to begin with so she would play along. However, his constant calls had another side-effect that she didn’t consider at first.

Other God Eaters watched her, this ‘new breed’ that was advertised to be better than them and they saw her being favored by the director because of it. A couple of rumors emerged, whispers behind her back started, calling her the _“Director’s pet”_ under their breath and ridiculed her on every turn. Her shooting score wasn’t perfect, her stamina left much to be desired and her name was juvenile and pretentious. They laughed in her presence, speaking so loud that she could hear it but then again never addressing her directly.

Lucifer looked at her healed hand  and curled her fingers up to a fist. 

Humans were petty cowards sometimes. So predictable. It would be more amusing if half of the rumors weren’t so pathetically uncreative to listen to but she saw no reason to stop them either. It was easier to garner sympathy from other people if she was clearly a victim of gossip. And if it got too annoying, she could always place a few rumors herself to diverge the attention from her. It only took a couple of well-placed words or notes for a person to find.

She had already some targets in mind for this sort of procedure. There was this boy with red hair, green outfit and black cap for example who always kept his petty mouth running like he was the big-shot around here.

Her eyes trailed to the clock besides her bed.

Speaking of gossip and the unpleasantness of standing in the spotlight, she should hurry up and wash the blood of her hands before she headed to the canteen for some breakfast. It took just a second for her stomach to lurch in response to her plan. She didn’t feel hungry but she knew she needed the nourishment. Yet, her body refused it, sometimes rather violently.

Eating two or three times per day was too much for her to handle, so in the first couple of days, she passed her time over the toilet bowl, hurling it all up again. Doctors had warned her that that would happen and even though, she got better, eating had become more and more of a chore than a pleasant experience.

The temptation to just not go this once and to skip the meal was there but she shook her head.

“No.” She told herself and then sighed with a grimace on her face. She _had_ to go. Her body won’t recover if she allowed herself breaking self-set rules. One small meal, just to get something in her stomach and then she could go her merry way.

With her goal set, Lucifer cleaned her hand and walked out of the room. She looked at the elevator at the end of the corridor and then shook her head. The stairs would do today, a thing she actually preferred to this tight death-trap. Just yesterday she heard from a couple of God Eater who were stuck in there for a two hours due to a malfunction.

The thought and picture sent a shiver up her spine. If people laughed at her disability to live up to their standard, they surely would have their fun with knowing that she feared the dark and being locked in.

She screwed her eyes shut, taking a deep breath to calm down her mind as it started to recall a dark tiny cell. The whispers started again, more malicious, more present as they closed their claws around her throat, cutting into skin, burning it with their mere touch. Her next try to take a breath sounded as if she choking but she forced the air in her lungs and her body to move.

Living with that for a couple of years now, made it somehow manageable if she caught her mind trailing of to that memory soon enough. Which was not always the case, unfortunately. In the best case, her body froze up, in the worst...

Lucifer pressed her lips into a thin line and shook her head again. Her legs reached the steps and she started counting. One, two, three. Falling into a rhythm to the counting that calmed her down. A simple strategy but it worked. She made two floors without trouble that way. As she took the round towards the next set of stairs, she was interrupted by a greeting.

“Yo Amanda!” A voice she knew. And there went her stomach again as it reacted to her displeasure. Lindow stood at the elevator, lifting his hand to greet her. A crooked grin spread on his lips.

“Good morning, Mr. Amamiya” She returned the greeting and gave him a nod to not come off as rude.

The man sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “How often do I have to tell you to not call me like that. Lindow’s enough, you know.”

“How often do I have to tell you to stop your name guessing game?” Lucifer threw back with a shrug. “See it as kind of weak retaliation for it.”

“So until I call you Lucifer, you don’t call me Lindow?” He summarized and frowned at her.

“That’s the idea. Silly but it works.” She admitted and let her gaze trail around to assess on which floor she was. She caught the smell of disinfectant and seconds later saw the golden placate hat pointed towards the sickbay. Cautiously her eyes returned to him. Now that she thought about it, she never saw Lindow so far down. The veteran rooms were on a higher floor and most of them, including Lindow, preferred taking the elevator instead of the stairs.

“Visiting someone?” Lucifer asked and nodded towards the corridor behind them. The man rubbed his neck, looked back and towards her again.

“Huh?” Then he understood what she meant. “Yeah. Made sure that our medic got her supplies ready for the next mission and things like that.”

Lucifer’s eyes narrowed just a bit. Somehow that sounded like a lie. Maybe it was the way that he avoided her look shortly afterwards or maybe because Sakuya told her yesterday that she already prepared the supplies for today. Whatever his business down here was, it was none of hers, so she didn’t inquire any further.

“And you?” He directed the question right back.

“Heading to the canteen. To eat.”

“It’s that late again, huh?” He paused, crossing his arms before his chest. For some reason, he didn’t seem pleased, judging by how he pressed his lips into a thin line and frowned again. Then he shook his head.

“Alright, might as well get something to eat too.”

Those were words that she dreaded to hear. It was enough that she had to deal with him on missions. People like him made her fingers itch for a blade. It was nothing personal but he reeked of danger, no, he was a disaster waiting to happen. And she didn’t want to wait and deal with the mess.

“Hey, kid...Everythin’ alright?” Lindow watched her and she unclenched her hands that were balled into fists.

“A lot of things going through my head.” And half of them weren’t imagining a pleasant end for him.

He hummed. “Can imagine that. New people, new place, new job...”

“Which is...clobbering gods over the head with over-sized weapons until they stop moving.” She had no intention to ridicule their job but that was essentially what they were doing.

Lindow blinked once or twice before a deep, throaty laughter escaped his throat.

“Yeah, you could say that. But keep that to yourself when the upper management is involved. That job description isn’t as flashy as _‘Join the heroes of humanity today!’_.” He pointed out with a sly smile and mischievous eyes gracing his features.

Lucifer just shrugged her shoulders. “But it’s true all the same. It’s not like we are truly killing them.”

“So you noticed.” His smile was strained as he lowered his voice as if he was sharing a dark secret with someone. He looked straight ahead, towards the elevator that he never called and crossed his arms before his chest.

“It’s not hard to guess with the information that is forced down our throats. Judging from their biology...or what we know of them, an Aragami isn’t truly dead when the corpse wastes away without the core. The Aragami _is_ the core and we are isolating and harvesting them to better our chances of survival. Just like the Aragami do. Devour to survive.” She let out a chuckle and gave him a sideway glance. “That aside, I always wondered why we are called ‘God Eaters’ not ‘God Killers’.”

Lindow gave her a slow, pensive nod. “That’s one way to look at it, kid.” He exhaled and closed his eyes. “It’s not like we are lyin’ about it.”

“Still, you aren’t correcting people either.”

“...Ha, yeah. There’s a reason why we say _devour_ and not _kill_ around here _._ Some youngsters come here because they have unfinished business with Aragami.” He chuckled quietly although there was no humorous tone in it. “All they can think off is killin’ them. They get pretty crushed if they notice that it’s not that easy. We treat that as a step that all rookies go through sooner or later. Some take it in stride, some don’t take it...well.”

Lindow’s eyes looked at the metal door as if he was looking for something in his reflection on the metal surface. It took a second to see that he was looking at her through it. There was a question hanging in the air that he didn’t speak out loud but she guess ed it.

_Which one was she?_

“It’s actually a pretty scary when you think about it, especially if you’re getting the front row in seeing the birth of an Aragami. Saw a couple of veterans who just lost their will to fight after witnessing that.” He rolled his shoulders but his eyes growing distant as he spoke, far off into the land of memories. A look she had seen so often on weary soldiers who had seen enough for a lifetime and still not too much to be considered throughly broken. In his more than ten years in service, he had probably seen his fare share of horror firsthand.

The ground filled with corpses and torn apart people, the smell of copper and iron in the air and then returning home, expected to act normal and motivated for the next sortie. The life of a soldier nowadays, an experience she had shared. His goofy, far-off mindedness made it easy to ignore that he was a veteran who saw comrades and civilians fall to a menace that they could not control or kill. It did things to the human mind, carved a wound that would fester and the scar of it would never go away.

He had fallen silent  for a moment too long of her likening.

“You could ask to back out.” The sentence surprised her as much as it surprised him as he suddenly turned her gaze to her. A faint smirk graced his features.

“And leave you rookies alone? No, that’s a disaster waiting to happen.” He jested. No, _he_ was a disaster waiting to happen. 

“It’s your business but at least, you have a choice.” Lucifer coincided and closed her eyes. “It’s your life and sanity.”

“...That almost sounds like you care for me.” It took just three damned seconds for him to drag this serious topic into a silly territory of conversation. She knitted her eyebrows in irritation. He could die for all she cared. The only problem was that he was her _superior_ and her _team leader_ and if the leader was not of a sound mind, things turned ugly for the rest, including her. If he wanted to take this fact as a sign of worry towards his wellbeing, so be it. 

T he woman exhaled, not dignifying his joke with a response or a claim to the contrary. She had places to be and she had been here for too long already.

“...We probably see us in the canteen then.” With these words, she stepped away from his side and continued to follow her original plan. He blinked, flinched slightly probably as he noticed that she just ended the conversation and slipped out of his grasp.

“Hey, before you go, there are a couple of things that you should know. First, you won’t going on a mission today.” Lindow called out for her, making her stop in her tracks and her gaze traveling back to him. 

“The doc wants you for a check-up.” Lindow then clarified as he saw that she wasn’t going anywhere now. He took out a cigarette and held it between his lips. The click of a lighter soon followed but he halted instead of guiding the flame to towards its destination. He looked at it, eyes narrowing and letting the flame extinguish before he put it back into his breast pocket. 

“Second, you will probably meet our newest addition on the way to your appointment.” He then added, rolling the cigarette from one corner of his mouth to the other. Finally, he turned to her, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. His visible eye locked straight with her gaze.

Ignoring her internal need to just leave without questioning why she was in for a check-up or why he was telling her this, she stayed, her curiosity piqued.

“I see. Old or New Type?”

“Old Type with a gun.” Lindow answered. After a short silence, she frowned. Something about this didn’t sit well with her.

“Is it normal to send rookies to the front first?” She inquired carefully.

“Yeah.” He dragged the word out, his gaze wandering somewhere else for a short moment. A rather curious habit. “At least, in this case. Survivability rates and practice, you know.” He shrugged his shoulders. “As the Vanguard Unit, we get all kinds of Aragami, perfect for practice and collecting experience. If we put the rookies into the Second, then they would only see action if something attacks the ghettos and walls and with the Third...Let’s say the scientists out there are not really keen on being protected by rookies without field experience. Number Four to Seven are reinforcement units...So, not actually much field practice if things don’t go south.”

Lucifer rubbed her chin. This was an interesting way to compose the units.“But isn’t the First Unit’s job to exterminate high-ranked Aragami?” She pointed out after a while.

Lindow smirked slightly at her, maybe even a little proud. She was still a rook in his eyes and he probably enjoyed his role as instructor. He took a deep breath.

“You only get the pleasure if you are really unlucky or if you stay with the First a little while longer. Normally, we are the ‘stress test’ for recruits. We push them a little bit and then see if they fit in our or in another unit. God Eaters with high adaptability, endurance and resourcefulness stay in the First, the ones who can deal well with panicky people and Aragami _while_ watching out that they don’t do too much collateral damage go to the Second. Number Three is a mix between First and Second on a smaller scale since they defend research facilities in the field, so its a matter of discussion if you fit or not. The all-rounders and jack-of-all-traits go to the reinforcements units. The most stressful job in my opinion. Not only do you have to know how the different units handle things but you have to deal with all sorts of tasks.”

Lucifer hummed slightly and nodded. “Interesting. And what is your assessment of me?”

Lindow looked at her with one raised eyebrow and scanned her from head to toe. “Don’t be offended, kid, but I honestly don’t know. You pick things up quickly. That’s good for any unit. But you aren’t a people person and I’m worried that your level of stamina isn’t enough for the First.”

“I see.”

He held up both hands. “The process takes a month or two. Things change, you know. No need to get sad about it now.”

She wasn’t. Actually, she would prefer switching units to get away from him but who knew if it wasn’t worse in another unit or if the director would let her switch in the first place. He just smiled at her, now almost in an attempt to look charming.

“By the way...” Lindow made a pause, the mischievous glint returned to his eyes. “You don’t have some beer left, do you?” The question came out of nowhere and suddenly she wasn’t so sure if she should have ignored to her gut feeling.

“I don’t drink.” She retorted, carefully gauging where he was going with this.

“Ah.” He sounded almost disappointed. “So you don’t have any beer rations?”

Lucifer had. The cans were lodged in her small fridge, untouched. She planned to use them to trade with other God Eaters, seeing how many liked the beverage, for favors or other rations.

“Perhaps.”

“Then you have got some to spare.” Lindow’s smile widened into a grin. Like a cat catching a mouse, although it was still more subtle than most examples.

“I...guess.” Her eyes narrowed at him. “If you give me something in exchange, then I might consider giving you some.”

“I can give you rations or I can tell you more about how things run around here, if you like.”

“Isn’t the last part your job?”

Lindow shrugged his shoulders. “I mean more the juicy details and tricks that only veterans know.”

“I never took you for a gossip.”

“Hmm, wouldn’t describe me as one but hey, if I get beer for it...”

She began to considered it. Information was always a thing that she was willing to trade for and Lindow had connections and knew probably many things that run below the surface. In exchange, she probably had to deal with him longer than she wanted but in this business, personal feelings were a dim afterthought. Her curiosity won out, like always.

With a sigh, she shook her head. “Just don’t tell Sakuya about it. I don’t want to land in hot waters with her because of this.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t say a word. Not. A. Word.” He swore, his voice sounding chipper than she was used to.

Lucifer just closed her eyes and hoped it was worth the trade.

* * *

Kota swallowed hard as he entered the big main hall of the Fenrir main building. He had been here a couple of times already but he often just moved through it. Now that he took in the sight, he felt a little bit intimidated but also a little bit excited. It was the first day on the job for him. His first day as a fully-fledged-out-of-training God Eater.

The thought alone made his chest swell with pride even though the memory of the news a couple of months ago, made him deflate shortly afterwards. His mother had been so pale as she received the news of his recruitment and he could still remember how she had crumbled the piece of paper in her hands out of shock.

He still talked to her on a daily basis, told her about his training and such but he could still hear the fear in her voice as he told her that he would go onto the battlefield today. She never said it outright but he knew what she feared.

Kota took a deep breath and slapped both of his cheeks to let go of this particular dark train of thought. It would be alright. The training had gone well too, so why wouldn’t the first day in the field be the same?

He adjusted his wool hat and dusted off his set of clothes, styled after his favorite show. He smiled fondly to himself. His mum outdid herself this time. Then he looked up again and scanned the room. Most God Eaters were probably on mission at this time of day which made his previous plan to get to know a couple of people here, a little bit harder to follow through.

Most of the rest chatted in groups and went somewhere. Then, as he looked around again, he spotted a God Eater in black uniform and with short dark blue hair sitting at one of the benches down below. He was sitting alone, slightly hunched over and holding something in his hand.

Kota leant slightly over the railing of the upper department to see what it was. His hands worked in the same intervals around a necklace, with his right index finger and thumb pinched together and then moving onwards around the chain. The young man placed his head on his folded arms and watched in silence how the motion repeated and caught the glimpse of a golden cross swinging back and forth at the end of it.

The person was probably praying. Maybe that’s why he was alone.

Just as he was dismissing him as potential conversation partner, the guy looked up straight ahead and then his gaze trailed to him. Kota froze as their eyes met like a deer in headlights. Emerald green eyes observed him, narrowed and then closed. Kota exhaled the air he didn’t know he was holding. Then the man gestured him to come down and then towards the seat besides them.

He hesitated for a couple of seconds and even as his feet cautiously moved down the stairs, he didn’t really know what to think of it. He didn’t dare to dismiss this invitation however, even though the gaze that followed him was everything else than comfortable.

As he was just a couple of steps away from the blue-haired man, the latter spoke up.

“New here, aren’t you?” His voice was smooth and calm with an almost feminine tone that went well with his delicate features; long eyelashes, pale skin and all.

Kota tilted his head slightly as he got a better picture of him. Almond-shaped apathetic looking green eyes observed him carefully for a moment before turning away. One of his long fingers moved over the chin of his oval face, tapping against it with an index finger as if he was thinking about something. With his almost sickly pale white skin and wearing uniform that was definitely too big for him, he looked more like a gust of wind could blow him away. The sunken cheekbones and the dark rings under his eyes didn’t help with that impression.

It was certainly not how he expected a fellow God Eater to look like.

After a couple of seconds of uncomfortable silence, the God Eaters gaze turned to him again, still waiting for him to respond.

“U-Uhm...” He averted his eyes. It wasn’t very polite to stare, after all. “Y-Yeah. First day here...I-I mean...first day out of training.” That person was more intimidating that every trainer he had the pleasure to be with over the last couple of weeks, even though he didn’t even rise his voice.

The strange God Eater nodded to himself and hummed. “Then you are probably the one who’s going to join the First Unit.”

“Y-Yeah.” Kota cleared his throat. “Yeah, that’s right. Do you know them?”

A soft chuckle erupted out of his throat. A sound which sent a shiver down Kota’s spine. Why did he suddenly feel that he was having a friendly chat with death at this very moment?

“Yeah, I’m one of the First Unit, too. Just a recruit, mind you. Two weeks in active service.”

Kota didn’t know if he should be relieved by these news or run away in terror and regret ever raising from his warm bed in the first place.

“ _But”_ , his mental voice of reason interjected. _“He doesn’t seem bad, just incredibly odd. I’m odd too...sometimes. That’s no reason for running away screaming. He’s trying to be nice.”_

Then the God Eater curled the corner of his lips up into a smile. Kota felt the the blood draining from his face at the sight before him.

 _“Everything is fine, Kota. Just take a deep, deep breath and…_ _ **Oh screw that!**_ _Abort mission! I repeat,_ _ **abort mission!**_ _”_ _His inner voice was no screaming and probably running around in his head like a headless chicken. Maybe he would too, if his limbs weren’t frozen in position._

_ Another chuckle resounded in the man’s chest and he leant back into an upward position. Now by closer inspection, even though the man wore clothes probably twice his size, it didn’t hide away some specific details. _

“ _Who knew that death incarnate was a woman.”_ His mind did funny things when in nervous overdrive, especially when he thought that one wrong word would cost his head. And, like always, when this happened, his mouth was strangely disconnected from the rest of his brain cells.

So, in a last-ditch effort to save this conversation – and probably himself, he blurt out:

“You have pretty eyes.”

It took maybe just a second before he registered what he just had said but the consequent silence felt like a lifetime to him.

“ _Just...what the heck brain?!”_ His inner self screamed at him as the woman blinked, mouth slightly opened as if she was taken aback.

“U-Uhm...” He stuttered, feeling hot from embarrassment and cold from the subsequent horror that she actually heard it. So much for his first day. Kota Fujiki, God Eater cadet and recruit – dead by offending death incarnate because he couldn’t shut his stupid mouth.

The woman frowned, her smile falling back into a non-threatening smirk.  He couldn’t decide if that was a good thing.

“Thank you.” She said with a nod. “I appreciate the thought, but perhaps you should take a deep breath. I’m not here to harm you.” Her voice had an almost soothing tone now and, much to Kota’s surprise, he felt his raging thoughts calming down too.

And he did what she told him. Taking a deep, big breath and exhaled. She watched him, hands folded on her lap.

“Feeling better?”

“Y-Yeah. I-I guess.”

“Good.” The God Eater said with a satisfied nod. She then proceeded to introduce herself. “Just to get the formalities out of the way...My name is Lucifer, a fellow recruit of the First Unit under Mr. Amamiya.”

“Lucifer.” Kota repeated slowly. He knew the name from somewhere but he couldn’t place really where. He then shrugged and a hesitant smile returned on his lips as he crossed his arms behind his head. “Sounds like a cool name.”

“I think of it as juvenile but it’s better than having none. And you are…?”

“Kota. Fujiki Kota but just Kota is fine.” With that the tension was gone, just like that and he felt himself relax. He let himself fall on the free seat besides her with a sigh.

“So…” He started, dragging every syllable of this word out before he continued. “How is it? Being a God Eater and all that...”

She turned her head slightly; her green eyes following the group of God Eater which moved past them.

“You get food, clothes, meds, health checkups, a roof over your head, access to a database with a lot of information _and_ you get paid for a mission. If you like to hunt beasts of the size of a small hut or bigger, it’s probably a win-win situation.”

Hearing that so casually, the thought of hunting Aragami seemed more like an afterthought than really a threat to humanity.

“That being said...I like to explore the world beyond the walls and the rest is just part of the job. No hard feelings involved.” She put the rosary around her neck and adjusted her high collar to let it slip underneath.

Her gaze trailed over him again and then she asked: “Are you from the city?”

Kota blinked confused by the question. “Yeah, I am. I mean, I’m from the Outer Ghetto, area E26. Not the fanciest one, but hey, people are nice and helpful. And you? Did you transfer from another city or…?”

“I’m not from a Fenrir city.”

“Not from a Fenrir city…?” He didn’t get where she was getting at and then it clicked. “ _Oh,_ you mean you are from outside the walls.”

Then it another thought clicked in place rather suddenly and his eyes grew big.

“You lived outside?!” He had heard of them but never knew one personally. Those people lived without a wall to protect them, some of them roamed the wastelands and still were somehow able to survive. His neighbor once told him of one he knew that became a God Eater. Those were people of a different breed, strong, relentless, tough and diligent although others said that they were rough, impolite to the point of being almost feral.

The God Eater in front of him defied he had of them in his mind. The strong warrior, buff with muscles, rough speech and all. And here, she was: Delicate, thin and unfailingly polite albeit maybe a little bit creepy.

“How...was it out there? I have heard stories but...”

She exhaled and crossed her arms. “We were lucky that we settled somewhere near Fenrir supply lines. Aragami weren’t the problem at first. Long story short, it...didn’t work out. Our community was forced to leave. Haven’t seen the rest for weeks now, don’t know where they are either.”

“Oh.” Kota looked at his feet. Story as old as the Aragami plague. Many lost a lot of friends to the Aragami, families got ripped apart and left only a handful alive. Guilt tugged on his heartstrings as well as another strange warm feeling because he knew that he still had the option to visit his family. Maybe he should call his mother after the check-up.

“Don’t look so sad for my sake. It’s...” Lucifer paused as she peered over his shoulder. He didn’t notice that something was amiss until a cold feminine voice cut through his words.

“Is that the way to greet your superior?”

Kota jumped in his seat, turning around to meet the piercing stare of Tsubaki who looked less than pleased. With a tight white suit that didn’t leave much to imagination in case of her curves, Kota couldn’t help but stare for a moment. Lucifer seemed to notice as she poked him in the side as she stood up and saluted. Her other hand behind her back signed him to follow her lead. His salute was hasty and clumsy but Tsubaki seemed to be satisfied.

“At ease.” The black haired woman commented, relieving them from the stiff gesture. “Lucifer, your checkup is scheduled at 10.00. Kota Fujiki…” Tsubaki turned her glare to the young man in question who jerked again at the ice tone of her voice. His gaze had trailed somewhere were it didn’t belong but he couldn’t help it. The sight was...impressive, to say at least.

“You, too, will have a checkup today at 12.00. Not a minute too late. Then you will report to Lindow Amamiya in the main hall at 14.00 for basic instructions. Do I have made myself clear?”

“Y-Yes.” He cleared his throat. “Yes ma'am!”

“Then both of you are dismissed.” Without another word, the tall female in white clothes turned around and left them. Lucifer glanced after her and waited patiently until she was out of earshot. Then she tilted her head towards Kota.

“Tsubaki Amamiya, the Training Supervisor. She’s infamous for dealing out harsh punishment for those who disobey or appear late. If she says jump, you better jump and don’t hesitate a second.” Lucifer whispered to him. Then her expression softened a little bit as she motioned towards the elevator.

“Come with me, I will show you where the laboratory is so that you don’t get lost on the way. The building can be a maze and some veterans aren’t above to give false directions to get a laugh or two.”

“A-Alright.” Kota nodded, still a little bit shaken by the encounter with their icy superior and followed quickly behind as the woman went through the doors and waited for him to enter. Then she quickly pressed a button. Then her expression grew tense and she closed her eyes before taking a deep breath.

Somehow the thought of a checkup instilled slight discomfort in the young man. While had had no problem with it, he wasn’t a fan of needles.

“Do you know the doctor?” He asked.

Lucifer crossed her arms before her chest. “I know a couple but the head doctor? No. Judging from the rumors he is as intelligent as he is eccentric. And if you don’t have a specific kind of mutation, you don’t have to fear that he is going to dissect you.”

“…D-Dissect me?!” The picture of him being strapped onto the table and a doctor with a creepily bright grin sent a shiver down his spine.

“Don’t worry. Rumors tend to exaggerate.” Lucifer took a deep breath. “Ah, and Kota?”

“Y-Yeah?”

“I know it is hard for a fellow of your age, but it would be safer for you to keep your eyes on a person’s face. Even when the sight is nice.”

She wasn’t looking at him but there was a smirk was on her lips. At first, Kota didn’t know what she implied with these words and then, after a dreadfully long second, the blood shot into his cheeks.

With a light chuckle, she shook her head at him and wallowed in his embarrassment.

 


	5. Auftakt zum Totentanz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When one has lost everything, desperation takes many forms: Some seek chaos, some seek order and cling to what once was, some seek shelter from the hell they live in and some debate how much personal rules still matter in the face of the harsh reality. 
> 
> In the end, most of them seek their comfort in a dance with their demise.

The flame sizzled through the contents of the cigarette before the hooded figure flicked the empty filter away and stomped it out. The sight hidden under the ragged, dirty fabric looked up to the golden wolf emblem on the tallest building in the city. The sudden taste of ash conquered his tongue as he exhaled and every muscle stiffened in his body.

The stranger hissed, pain spreading through his body like a whip that sent him into a coughing fit. His other hand twitched and closed around the old wooden stick that he used as a walking aid. The left side of his body ached and itched under the rough clothing but he repressed the need to scratch himself. Instead, he glanced upwards, looking at the sky through the holes of a plastic roof. The buildings closer to the wall were cheaply built. They were only sturdy enough to keep the rain and wind out, but that was it.

It was the telltale sign of poor people who were used to having their houses destroyed and had to rebuild things from scratch. It shouldn’t come to a surprise. Even if the walls were guarded and the soldiers were strong, it was no guarantee that the wall won’t topple. After he arrived he had watched what a simple alarm near the gates caused on masses of people immediately moving towards the middle of the city.

Sometimes there was panic, sometimes it was oddly organized and quiet, depending on what noise was filling the air. He rolled his head slightly to the side, eyeing the deep, dark ends of the narrow path. Beggars and invalids would sometimes sleep there, hoping that the rowdy teenagers wouldn’t find them.

He clicked his tongue at the thought. Preying on the weak was not uncommon and he himself grew up with the rules of the street but that rule wasn’t a clear gateway to just rampage and beat somebody to a pulp for fun. Another hiss escaped him and he placed his hand on the left side of his face that was bandaged. It burnt just like the first day he received this injury.

His other hand wandered to a pocket on his dirty combat trousers, feeling the package with the pills right there.

But then he halted and wandered back to his walking stick. The rustling of clothes and voices dragged his attention away from his unpleasant experience. He counted the steps to his left. Three, maybe just two coming down the same alley. His eyes narrowed as his muscles stiffened again, this time ready to pounce and fight if necessary.

They came here again. A small troop of a local small gang, composing of youngsters who thought big and dreamed bigger of being the bosses with their own territory. He almost scoffed at their naïveté. Their movement was so unschooled, clumsy and their ways of keeping their power were more immature and impatient than it was useful. They just still existed because the others didn’t see them as a threat as of yet.

He counted the seconds, the steps drawing near in his direction. They weren’t here for him specifically. They were here for another victim. His eyes narrowed but he didn’t move. He wasn’t able to run in this state, nor did he want to.

The moment when the boot was firmly placed beside his hip against the wall, was confirmation enough of their intention.

“Look what we have here…” The voice was raspy and unrefined, befitting a man still in his youth. He tried not to groan at the sound to give them no indication that he was giving them his attention or any indication of fear. He wasn’t afraid, never would be of these youngsters.

But they will be terrified of him if they chose poorly.

And they did.

Someone grabbed his collar, dragging him a little bit up and then with full force against the wall. He groaned, pain shooting up his spine and spreading over his left side.

“Hey, didn’t you hear, you piece of trash?” A low hiss probably meant to instill fear into him but out of him came just a breathy laughter. Their attempts were almost adorable like a pup barking at him. His reaction earned him a hit in his gut.

For a moment, he was sure, a second one would follow but then nothing came.

Instead, there was a gasp which wasn’t from him.

This time he looked up. Seeing a hooded large man behind his assailant who rested his head on the boy’s shoulder while he pressed cold hard steel against the young man’s throat. Olive-brown eyes looked back at him and under the shadow of the hood, he could make out a faint smile which was framed by a three-day stubble.

“Boys shouldn’t play around here. It’s dangerous.” The hooded male purred and barred his teeth which were sharpened to pointed fangs.

“Hunter.” He spoke up, voice breathy and quiet between the gasps of pain. “Restrain yourself. We are not here to murder anybody. What are you doing here?”

“I just thought I could lend you a hand with your spying duty.” Hunter responded. “We can’t patch you up every time when you come home beaten up, you know.”

He grasped his newly found victim by the neck, forcing him to his knees in front of him. The other youngster who was standing a little bit in the back was starring and didn’t know what to do. knowing what to do. After the first shock, the one kneeling recovered and started to struggle.

“Do you even knowing who you are messing with?!” The boy shouted and tried to wiggle himself out of Hunter’s iron grip.

Hunter was unimpressed and didn’t even look at him as he let go, kicked him with one boot to the back forward and then placed his foot rather roughly against his head to keep him on the ground.

“More than you know, kid.” Hunter answered with a hum.

Meanwhile the other took his legs into his hands and fled, abandoning his comrades to their mercy. Hunter clicked his tongue, watching.

“Well, that’s just pitiful.” He paused and shifted his weight onto the young man flaying face first in the dirt. Then he turned to the man still standing with the wooden stick against the wall.

“So…What are we going to do with them, Vic? Let them go?”

Vic was silent, looking down and seemed to consider it.

“Or…” Hunter continued. “Do you want to dump them in the neighboring district?”

“Didn’t we agree…” Vic coughed and swallowed before continuing. “That we don’t cause trouble until we are absolutely sure that we know with what we are dealing with?”

The open grin on Hunter’s face faded. “We already know and they are an annoyance. For fuck’s sake, they kick and kill beggars for fun and terrorize a couple of unregistered citizens for protection money. Nobody’s going to miss them if they are gone.”

“Hunter, they are not _our_ problem.” Vic insisted.

“Right, so you just go around and let yourself get beaten up while gathering intel? Just because they aren’t our problem? Yeah, totally great idea with no drawbacks right here. Vic, you are in no condition to do that. We need to…”

“And we are in no condition to cause and fight a full on gang war. Think of the people living here. We aren’t here to make their lives worse.”

“But we aren’t here to make it better either. So what are we are trying to do here? When we do that, we will be serving ourselves on a silver platter and you know it.” Hunter’s eyes narrowed in the shadows of his hood. “Boss would spit on your way of thinking if…”

Vic clasped around his wooden stick, almost hard enough that the other could hear it crack. So that was Hunter’s intention. He wanted to provoke a fight and now that he revealed himself and let the other one go, he was backed into a corner to comply.

A deep growl escaped him. How their leader could deal with such an unruly, undisciplined guy and made him follow orders, stayed a mystery to him.

“Enough.” The word was breathy, quiet and bitter. “Sly bastard.” He muttered and Hunter started to grin again.

“Boss was a good teacher.” He commented and looked down at their fresh catch that was still squirming to free himself. “Sorry kid, but I had my eyes on you ever since that day you attacked that little girl. And…” He emphasized his pause by grinding his boot against his head. “I like to pay evil onto evil.”

“Hunter.” Vic interrupted him. “No murder.”

“Relax, relax…” Hunter raised his hands in defense, grinning all the way. “I’m not gonna kill him. Well, maybe a couple of broken bones and the kid whimpering for the rest of your pathetic life whenever he sees something in the shadows.”

Vic opened his mouth slowly, then closed it. Hunter wasn’t the man who was angered easily by small critters like that, nor did he normally go so far to anger him to get what he wanted.

“Aren’t you in a foul mood today…” He started carefully. Hunter let out a deep, almost animalistic growl in response.

“Who wouldn’t be? We are grasping at straws for months now and the intel we are getting is dubious at best and complete bullshit at worst.” He heaved as he dragged the young man to his feet and knocked him unconscious with a precise strike. Then he just let the unconscious teen go and hit the dirty ground again. Hunter let his body drop into the dirt again.

“And _you_ are forcing us to play nice with those little bastards who have no decency at all. How much longer do you think the others will play along when the Boss isn’t there? I hate to tell you that but somebody has to.”

Hunter gazed at him, green-brown eyes reflecting the anger but also something akin to pity – If someone like him could even feel any. “You are too weak. They just hear you out because you _were_ one of the stronger once before all that, but they will forget that and then, they will probably kill you when you fight.”

“Then what do you suggest I should do? Kill them first?” He let out a breathy laugh that died just a second later to give way for a coughing fit. “I’m just the next best solution. I know that. We lost too much and we found too little. We are dying, Hunter, but do you think they will believe me? After all that?” Vic shook his head, taking a deep breath. “They won’t listen and with this body, I can’t do anything about it either.”

Hunter licked his lips, opened his mouth and then hesitated to speak for a second.

“Vic…Look, I didn’t mean it that way. I just…What we are doing now doesn’t show any results. I suggest that you finally listen to me: We need a foundation and we need to show our presence around here. Otherwise, our resources will run low and we are left with nothing.”

“Do you even know how much resources a gang war costs? We are too small to even consider that.”

Hunter started to grin again. “Oh come on, Vic, I know you like to wallow in self-pity the last few months but that is no excuse to just forget one basic lesson.” He paused, lowering his head slightly. “Not all fights have to be fought by us.”

He pointed at the unconscious man at his feet. “He is a well-known gang member of this pitiful excuse of a group and we have another one just across the district border who have the collective intelligence of a piece of bread. Let’s just stir things a little bit up with a little bit of misinformation and false evidence and let the rest play out.”

“Hunter, don’t make me repeat myself. No murder.”

“We won’t murder anyone and when they just begin to kill each other, it is not our business, isn’t it? Besides…” He pointed at the tall building in the middle of the city where the golden emblem of the wolf gleamed in the rising sunlight. “Everything we need to know is there, just set our course, captain and ready the supplies because we are going for a last daring ride.

 

* * *

 

The peeping of the alarm clock shook Lucifer awake. With a soft groan, she peeled her face from the page of the book she had tried to decipher the day before. Her fingertips trailed over the paper and she sighed in relief.

The last thing she needed was to explain to the head of research why there was a drool stain on one of his treasured books. Slowly she rolled her body to the side, looking up to the ceiling above, rubbing her tired eyes and stretching her sore limbs.

Then she looked at the ceiling again, trying to get her thoughts in order and shaking her mind awake from the haze that still occupied it. The peeping was ringing unpleasantly through her ears and she groaned again as her hand reached out for it and clumsily turned it off while managing to push the device from the shelf and onto the ground.

Her head buried itself into the white wrinkled covers as she looked at it, at the ground and started to scowl as it started to peep again – This time out of her arms reach. She had to get up; Lucifer knew that much but she didn’t find her body quite willing to do exactly that. Days of researching, of learning and late evenings apart from the duties of her new job started to take a toll on her and the fact that yesterday was an especially taxing day, didn’t seem to convince her body to follow the orders of her mind.

Her thoughts trailed off, remembering the first time she had been able to fight a larger Aragami. A fish, a huge fish like beast called a Gboro-Gboro if she recalled it correctly. It wasn’t much of a challenge in itself and with Lindow and Sakuya at her side, it was a quick kill. What rattled her body even now was the sudden emergency call that came immediately afterward.

_‘Just an Orgetail herd.’_ had been the all the information they had gotten but it evolved into a bloodbath with Cocoon Maidens, Zygotes and whatever entities the Veteran God Eaters called _‘little critters’_. It had been a mess. She had been caked with dirt, sweat and Aragami blood from head to toe and had been out of breath after they had finished the mission.

Lindow and Sakuya meanwhile didn’t even seem bothered or exhausted but rather amused or bored by it. For a God Eater of their level, it had been probably just another day and she had no delusions that she was anywhere close to their talent and fighting power. Her past experiences gave her in some things a head start but humans were different from Aragami.

For starters, humans didn’t slowly regenerate a limb or two when left alone for too long, or had elemental weaknesses or had skin which hardly could be penetrated by normal means and shrugged of bullets. While she considered herself insane on some level, the fact that she had seen one of her superiors in nothing but a dancing dress fighting with a sniper rifle almost her own size against a being that simply was too stubborn to die even when half of its face was missing, made her revalue her statement. A little bit.

But that could be just the common sense speaking that refused to die even after all she had witnessed. Lucifer groaned again as she forcefully pushed her body out of the bed, still cocooned in the blankets and let gravity do its deed. The impact on the hard wooden floor was enough to rattle her instincts awake even when the rest of her body protested against it.

Her hand reached for the clock again and she turned it off.

It was still strange to wake up this way. Sleep didn’t come easy to her and she remembered how she woke up here and there in the night, hand clutching something under her pillow. Experience and paranoia taught her to be a light sleeper which also meant that she had to be immediately on her feet and aware of what was going on around her.

Today, it felt more like a chore than usual. Her limbs still protested in faint pulses as she moved and stripped her wrinkled shirt to check the bandages underneath. Maybe the lack of adrenalin was to blame for that. Her right hand undid the wrap around her chest and let the loose strains of fabric pool around her legs. She took a deep breath, enjoying the short freedom that she gave her chest. Then she discarded the last pieces of clothing and walked towards the shower with a silent hum on her lips.

Her body shivered as the cold droplets hit her skin, finally awake as her muscles tensed. She let out a shaky sigh, for once a little bit more content as the cold calmed the heat emitting from her back. Her half-opened eyes gazed at her arms, noticing that something had changed over the past couple of weeks. They were thicker now, the muscles under her skin not quite so apparent as before and the pale skin had gotten smoother and less ragged with scars.

_‘Small skin irritations and scars are known to fade over time after subjects are injected with the Bias Factor.’_ Lucifer’s mind recalled this fact almost immediately although she was just beginning to grasp its meaning. Something was in her body and it was altering her appearance, bit by bit, without her consent. Her fingers twitched in response as if they were reacting to the picture of something dark and forbidden squirming through her veins.

She wasn’t genetically a human anymore, just an artificial hybrid of an aragami and a human.

_‘Offer your humanity for survival.’_ Something clawed at her ankles. Long shadowy claws almost lovingly closing around her feet, careful not to cut her skin and whispering in a sweet and light tune. _‘They are not so different from our kin, aren’t they? Well, perhaps, more in denial than we are.’_

Lucifer looked straight ahead to the wall, denying that creature at her feet any form of acknowledgment, even if she could hear its wretched laughter in the back of her head. She would address them when they were needed; not sooner, not later. It wasn’t the loss of humanity that irked her in this moment, it was the knowledge of another thing in her body that was beyond her control.

But she had to live with it. That had been her choice but for a moment, curiosity seized her.

Lucifer looked at her left arm before guiding her wrist towards her mouth and biting down, hard. She could feel how her blunt teeth managed to cut through her skin, the coppery taste filling her mouth. Then she let go and let the escaping droplets of blood being washed off by the water. Her eyes narrowed as a prickling feeling emitted from the offended and open area. After just a couple of seconds, she felt and saw how the little dents in her skin started to disappear and a minute later, it was gone as there had never been something.

_“_ Enhanced regeneration, enhanced strength and speed _”_ , Lucifer quoted the passage of the book she had read the other night as she still watched her arm. She licked her lips, a small smile forming. As frightening and uncomfortable the thought of having another entity inside her was, it was oddly fascinating to see it with her own eyes. In battle, she often didn’t have the time to check for injuries or wasn’t sufficiently injured to test the capabilities of a God Eater but there were probably second-hand reports to it.

Lucifer turned off the shower and shook her head, sending droplets of water everywhere, letting out another sigh. For a second, she just stared at the ceiling, trying to remember and sort the information she had gotten to this topic in her mind. Lindow had been a good teacher in his own way when she came with questions regarding God Eaters and missions in general. He most often gave her the very basics of what she had to know but gave her some directions who would know more. She even visited the library that they had but almost always gave up because she couldn’t read half of the scientific papers due to her lack of practice of reading and writing Japanese and English. Such things were rarely of use on the outside although she had learned to write in a complex form of code for safety proposes. Now, this lack of knowledge was biting her back and she had to spend hours over books and vids to compensate this. And she would rather die than to ask Lindow for help. It felt somewhat embarrassing to admit it besides the fact that she wouldn’t want to reveal a weakness that he could exploit. The last thing she wanted was to be beaten at the game by a written piece of paper.

With a huff at that thought, she took a towel and walked over to the mirror to dry and comb her wet hair. The green eyes of her reflection met her own and she paused for a moment. The claws came again, clasping around her throat. Blazing white eyes looked at her, one large scythe-like finger stroke over her left cheek.

_“Don’t forget. There is a prey waiting to be caught still.”_ The shadow whispered in her ear. _“We hunger and the creatures don’t satisfy us… Look…”_

The face changed in front of her and cold brown eyes stared back at her. The adrenalin shot through her body like a pulse, sudden and strong. Lucifer let out a shaky breath; Her hand clasping around the porcelain of the sink in front of her. The feeling came like a wave of her body, a beat of ecstasy which almost conquered her thoughts and forced everything else out of her mind.

_“We wither but it is not enough. Not now. We were promised a last dance.”_

After so long, so many weeks, it felt like she was finally taking a breath of fresh air after drowning. This building, this city, these people were suffocating her, unknowingly starving her of what she needed and providing her no comfort. Their mere presence was temptation incarnate, their mere being trying to sway her from her original goal. Why just taking one if she could take many? Why not pay what lives had been lost back in blood? There was no loyalty that would try to hold her back here, no petty emotional connection that would force to obey other than her own word. The smell of fire penetrated her nose, the taste of ash filled her mouth as she felt the blistering warmth on her cold skin and the screams echoing in her ears.

_“They are not kin. They are not us. They let us hunger and burn and looked the other way when we needed them. They deserve nothing better…They need to **pay**.”_

The woman interrupted the shadow with a deep and low chuckle. “Revenge is so overdone and boring...There is no thrill to be had with it.”

She would give the urge and temptation no quarter.

Lucifer looked in the mirror again and her reflection returned the grin of a beast.

 

* * *

 

Another day, another day in hell, as far as Soma’s mood was considered. A good night’s sleep didn’t come easily after all those years of fighting and when it came, he most likely ended up on the hard couch and woke up with a stiff neck and a headache.

Today it was no different. With a growl erupting out of his throat, he rubbed his neck and hissed slightly under his breath. He didn’t know how long he had slept but it didn’t feel like he had slept at all. His mood just worsened as his tired eyes finally managed to decipher the tiny words on the computer screen.

Lindow was planning to send him on a mission with the new rookie.

The young man swore under his breath and growled again, as he spotted the smiley-face at the end of the sentence.

“Bastard.”

The death toll of the people who went with him on missions was too high to consider this to be a very thoughtful move, especially when it was the New Type. Sometimes he didn’t really get what Lindow as thinking or if that bastard was thinking anything at all when he decided things like that on a whim.

Soma sighed deeply, resigning himself to just accept it and get ready for today which was essentially switching out his worn clothes and getting his hooded jacket that he discarded on top his dresser the day before.

He just wanted to get over with this and return to his room, although he knew that Lindow would pester him for a beer or to go do some socializing. For once, he wished Lindow would just leave him alone.

“Yeah right…” The man mumbled as he pushed the button beside the elevator door and waited for this wretched thing to move. He had failed to get a look at the new rookie due to the extra missions he had to do on the side. The rumors didn’t tell him much either, not that he interested in them in the first place. They were a new type and thus, per default, the director’s new invention. Besides that, he knew that they had a rather exotic name but he failed to remember with one exactly.

_‘Lucius? Lucy?...’_ His head went through the list of names he had heard and he inwardly shrugged his shoulders. It really didn’t concern him much who the new recruit was. They had to survive for a while first. Getting too attached to fresh meat never bode well.

Halfway down, the door opened again. Soma’s gaze lifted from the metal floor and he could fell his muscle tense and freeze in place. Brown eyes met his look and then everything he saw was the broad shoulders clad in white with the golden Fenrir emblem. A sight which he had seen so often in his life but still it made his blood boil and his stomach sink in equal measure.

The director started to speak. “I have heard that you will be on mission with the New Type today.”

Soma didn’t answer. This man already knew, an answer would be just a waste of breath and Soma didn’t want to admit that his vocal cords refused to work. When this man spoke, it was almost an unspoken rule that everything else than a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ was already overstepping boundaries. It only had gotten worse in the recent years, not that this man was everything else than cold and somewhat condescending towards him beforehand.

The seconds dragged on, excruciatingly slow. Then the door opened again and Soma almost felt relieved as the director stepped out.

“See that you don’t break our new toy.” The older male said, without even sparing him a glance. Soma’s eyes narrowed at him, holding his stare as the door closed again. He gritted his teeth, balling his hands into fists and then took a deep breath. Even after all those years, he hadn’t gotten used to this and it angered him.

Soma clicked his tongue before he himself got off to enter the main hall.

Immediately the whispers in the air seemed to increase although he tried his best to block them out. It would be just the usual talk, the usual spiteful comments behind his back as they spoke as if he couldn’t hear them. Slowly he made his way over to Hibari to the mission counter. She looked up and turned to him, greeting him with a smile.

“Good morning.” The young woman nodded at him.

“Morning.” His voice sounded tired and rough, mirroring his mood at the moment perfectly. He was already done with this day. Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten up from his bed, notifying that he didn’t feel good, but then Lindow would probably come crashing through his door and act like Soma was on his deathbed.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

He flinched as he felt someone hitting his shoulders.

“Good morning, Soma! Have you rested well?” Considering this male voice and equivalent way of speaking could only be Eric. Soma’s shoulders dropped slightly as he sighed. Despite not having any ill will against Eric, he didn’t know if he could handle him right now.

“Morning, Eric.”

The redhead beside him beamed, smiling from ear to ear while correcting his sunglasses. Soma suppressed a growl. Eric was a textbook example of a morning person, smiling almost radiantly that it hurt his tired eyes and a good mood to match.

“What a great day! This almost reminds me of…”

Soma decided not to listen anymore, knowing all too well what was coming. With one hand on his chest which was only covered with a red vest, Eric started this flowery morning speech about how great this day and Eric himself was. Soma covered his eyes with his right hand, trying to ignore the man before him quoting Hamlet - or rather misquoting it - while Hibari let out a nervous but polite snicker.

Despite Eric’s rather rebellious exterior with flaming red hair, a wool jacket and cut off red sleeves with nothing underneath and his bare torso plastered with tattoos, he still spoke and acted like he was the shining knight in a fairytale. A combination and attitude which was refreshing and equally exhausting sometimes.

“Ah, before I forget. You and the new recruit will have the honor to accompany me today.” Eric mentioned while running his fingers almost in an overly dramatic way through his hair.

Soma looked at him, _trying_ hard not to scowl. The redhead was a nice person, a little bit quirky, selfish and haughty but still somewhat tolerable and it wasn’t his fault that they were stuck together on a mission right now.

“Yeah, I have got the mail.” Soma grumbled.

“I can’t wait to teach them some of my special attacks.” Eric beamed, much to the other male’s further annoyance.

“Don’t.” The hooded man retorted with a sigh, causing Hibari to snicker silently again. At least someone was enjoying his misery right now. Eric hit him again on the shoulder.

“Ah Soma, don’t be so grumpy! The day is still young!” He chirped.

Exactly what made Soma’s mood plummet to the depths of hell and further - if there was still something. Dealing with colorful characters was more than a chore, especially after an almost sleepless night and his run-in with that bastard.

“Ah, before I forget. Lucifer is already at the meeting point in the Sunken Grind.”

Soma’s left eyebrow arched at Hibari’s words and he crossed his arms before his chest.

“The rookie is already there?”

“Yeah, she and Lindow already went there to clear up the nearby area,” Hibari explained. “The mission concluded without any difficulties.”

The hooded man’s eyes narrowed. Lindow just sending the rookie towards the next mission like that was strange. Normally, rookies were allowed to take one to two mission tops per day and Lindow was the last person that would push them to their limits so early. The only explanation that made some kind of sense to him was that there was an emergency but there was no alarm.

“Her?” Eric inquired. Soma could feel Eric’s weight on his shoulder, as the slightly smaller male placed his arm on it and leaned against him. For a moment, Soma was tempted to just take a step to the side. He didn’t like being touched so casually, not that Eric or Lindow ever respected that. In the moment where he actually wanted to just move away, his mind seemed to be occupied with what Eric just asked.

Lucifer wasn’t a name a woman would normally carry.

Hibari chuckled, a little bit embarrassed and almost knowingly that this question was bound to be asked.

“Ah, yes, Lucifer is female.” She clarified, much to Eric’s delight. Soma’s reaction ranged from non-existent to not caring either way. It was a rather unusual name for a woman, but it wasn’t completely out of the ordinary by God Eater standards. He had _seen_ things and had already reached the point where somebody had to run around naked to earn his attention.

He let his gaze trail slightly to the side towards Eric. This man beside him was no exception from the rule, unfortunately. Meanwhile, Eric rubbed his chin and showed a grin – probably already thinking of a way to impress the rookie with one of his introductions.

“Today has to be my lucky day, don’t ya think, Soma?” Eric showed a grin and rubbed his

“You are aware that’s the name of the devil, aren’t you?” Soma’s rough voice cut through Eric’s monologue like a knife.

“Ah…” Eric ran his hand through his red hair and tsk’ed at the taller male. “How superficial of you, Soma. Hey, how about I…”

And there, Soma’s mind trailed away, not bothering to listen and regretting to having actually spoken up. Now Eric won’t shut up for the rest of the ride. He closed his eyes and sighed. This day couldn’t get any worse than that.

 

Lucifer let out a sigh, almost in relief as she turned the blade in the fresh corpse in front of her. Half of the targets were already down and dealt with. The ache in her muscles from before came back and she gritted her teeth for a moment.

Lindow wouldn’t be amused when he found out that she disobeyed his order which she hadn’t in a sense. He had told her to stay here. He never said anything about not using the nearest aragami as target practice for her bullets. Lucifer clicked her tongue.

It was not quite what she would normally do but the itch she had since this morning, was weaker now. This aragami didn’t satisfy her needs but at least they sufficed in turning the events in a forgettable afterthought.

The smell of iron and acid waved around her nose and she grimaced as she swung her blade to get the blackish blood of it. The heightened senses of a God Eater were a bother sometimes, especially if they invited the thought that human blood and this blackish substance smelled different. A short shiver overcame her and she shook it off.

Luckily, Lindow wasn’t here to notice that sort of behavior. She didn’t want to give him reason to worry about her mental and physical state - or rather give him an excuse to go after her. The woman tilted her head back, to look at the blue sky and listen to the water that was slowly trickling through the cracks of the ruins beside her. Then she looked at one of the larger puddles that have formed beside her, seeing her reflection looking back with a dull stare.

Then a cutting wind rippled the surface, dragging her attention upwards towards the sky once more. In the open door of the machine that carefully lowered itself, she spotted two people, one in red, one in blue. The red one wore little clothing that covered his upper torso which made her frown slightly and her frown deepened as the red one said something and the other one simply ignored it as he jumped onto the ground.

The shadows of the hood covered his face and for a moment, she remembered someone else of her past who would probably choose the same style of clothing. Although she knew that they weren’t possibly the same person, she felt a tingle of disappointment when he lifted his gaze to meet hers.

His blue eyes coldly tried to stare her down for a moment but it only made her smirk for a moment. That was almost cute. Then she blinked, confused as the feeling of déjà vu filled her. Even if this man was a stranger to her, she had the feeling that she had encountered him before.

The spell was broken the moment a hand was wildly waving in her field of sight.

“May I introduce myself? I’m Eric der Vogelweid.” The man with the red hair and dark sunglasses spoke up as he was sure that he had her attention. “And this…” He motioned to the man behind him. “Is Soma. We have the order to help you out today.”

“…I’m Lucifer. I guess you already have heard from me.” Lucifer returned the greeting, eyeing him slowly from head to toe. She still needed to get used to some of the clothing choices around here. Eric seemingly ignored her frowned expression as he listed off his accomplishments which she promptly ignored. Her eyes rested on the hooded male who stood far off and was looking into the distance, not paying attention either, although she swore she had seen him rolling his eyes.

She swore she had seen him from somewhere but she just couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Suddenly she felt how her neck hair stood up and she felt a sharp cold shower traveling from there over her spine. Every muscle in her body tensed; Something growled in her head like a dog driven into a corner. It was just a second where the stranger’s eyes met her gaze again, wide as if he just realized something. Then his eyes flickered around left and then to the right and finally up.

_‘Above.’_ Lucifer finished in her thoughts and it was enough information to get her body to move out of instinct and jump back.

“Eric! Above you!” His shout reached her ear and she realized that she could have warned the redhead or rather pushed him to the side but in this moment, the idea didn’t manifest in her head.

Now it was too late. She saw a mess of fangs, sand-colored fur and a massive tail swing down at the other God Eater who started to shout and a moment after that, he let out a bloodcurdling scream. The coppery smell reached her nose in an instant and for a moment, she saw embers and ash in the red droplets spilling in front of her.

“Move!” She barely registered the command as the massive blade came down on the Orgetail in front of her, cutting, crushing it with one precise swing and relieving it from its core. Lucifer just stood there at the mess of black and red liquid and the corpses of Aragami and God Eater. The lower part of her torso felt wet and she placed a hand on it. Red and black liquid mixed on the skin of her hand.

The mix of iron and copper was almost intoxicating and she swallowed slightly but forced to pull herself together. She thrust her God Arc, tip first into the ground and started to push the dead Orgetail off Eric, or what was left of him. Eric’s body was intact, besides the holes where the fangs piercing him through. He stared into the sky, black sunglasses broken and the pieces of glass had slit up this left check.

Her right hand hovered over his face, trying to sense a gust of air coming from his slightly open mouth or nostrils. Then she felt his pulse or any indication that he was still alive.

“Don’t bother. He’s dead.” Soma who now stood beside her mumbled but she almost let out a sigh.

“At least it was quick. Choking on your own blood isn’t a painless death.” Her real intention was to give him the mercy of death if he hadn’t died instantly from this. His injuries weren’t regenerating, the massive loss of blood would have made the heart go into cardiac arrest, his spine was probably damaged beyond repair after such an attack.

There was no air, no pulse, no reaction, just the lingering warmth of a fresh corpse.

Her fingers twitched slightly as her first thought was to salvage what resources he still held on his body but she stopped before her hand could travel anywhere else than from the spot above Eric’s face. The other one was watching her and while she didn’t know their relationship, she got the feeling that he wouldn’t particularly appreciate when she just combed through the clothes of his comrade so shortly after his death.

Basic ‘decency’ demanded that she paid respect to this stranger of which she only knew the name. She softly closed his eyes, mumbling a short prayer before standing up and turning to him.

“Welcome to this hell of a workplace.” The hooded one spoke up, his tone still rough and low like a growl. Piercing blue eyes watched her and she felt the gaze of a hunter upon her, carefully assessing his prey. A gaze she knew all too well but it felt different. Something about his eyes was different than normal people but she couldn’t see exactly what.

“And if you want to stay alive…” He paused, japing his massive blade in her direction which was still dripping with black and red substance. “You better get out of my way.”

His glare was meant to intimidate but it was a mere shadow of mismatched emotions playing in his eyes and twitching in his features that made the threat worthless. She resisted the urge to smile to show him how amused she was by trying to trick her with that attitude.

Lucifer didn’t say anything, just watched as he turned and walked away. A man of action and few words, she decided, but maybe it was to flee from the corpse next to her. She gazed down on Eric.

“It was a short pleasure, Eric der Vogelweid.” She whispered before shouldering her blade and follow her new comrade to finish their assigned mission. The smell still stung in her nose and she could feel the shiver traveling down her spine again. With a deep sigh, she tilted her head back and looking at the bright sky with the sun still smiling down at this cruel scene. A quick chuckle escaped her, even though it lacked the humorous tone.

It was just one of those days.

 

* * *

 

Not many words were spoken after that. Soma didn’t even look at her as they traveled back to the den and Tsubaki fetched her as soon as Lucifer had sat a foot onto den territory and ordered her to the briefing room. Lucifer didn’t have the time to admire the large room with the big screens on the one side with heaps of data displayed even for a second as the instructor unceremoniously started to throw questions at her in quick succession.

She recounted the situation as good as she could with every detail that came to her mind. Tsubaki looked at her the whole while, interrupting her here and there to ask for further details. Seemingly, nobody prepared for the Orgetail that had appeared out of nowhere.

“Did you sense it?” The taller woman in the white suit inquired and Lucifer shook her head.

“No, not right away.” Then she paused, thinking if she should omit the detail how she was even able to dodge at the right time but decided against it. This piece of information could save a life in the future. “The other one…I think his name was Soma…was the first to sense it. Or at least, I think he was. He warned Eric before I even had the chance to speak but it was already too late.”

Tsubaki looked at her, her eyes narrowing but she didn’t seem surprised.

“And you? How did you manage to dodge at the right time?”

Reflex or pure instinct would be the simplest answers to that question but not the right ones.

“Luck. I watched him.”

Her eyes quipped up in interest. “Watched him?” Tsubaki repeated.

“Yes. I was curious about who the person was that was going to guide me through the mission but wasn’t going to introduce himself.” It wasn’t even a lie and noticing Tsubaki’s reaction, it wasn’t something out of the ordinary.

She sighed. “I see. You are dismissed. Take the rest of the day off.”

The tone suggested that it was more than an order than a suggestion and Lucifer almost wanted to insist that she was not traumatized by what happened and go on for the day like normal.

“Of course.” Lucifer mumbled without protest while giving a short salute and a simple bow before leaving the briefing room.

To them, it was the first death she witnessed as a God Eater. Despite Lucifer’s distaste of the term, she knew that she was still the little new pet of the director and with that, her superiors tried to treat her with a little more with care than the others.

She was one of the first a new line of God Eater, after all. With her mind occupied by these thoughts, she almost didn’t notice that she was walking into Lindow who was seemingly on the way to the briefing room. They probably called him in because he was her direct superior and so needed a full report on the situation.

He didn’t speak until his hand landed on her shoulder and she could feel her whole body stiffen in reflex with unease. She clenched her hands into first, trying to suppress the urge to land a punch right into his guts for needlessly touching her.

“Hey…” He started carefully, searching her gaze. “Everything alright?”

She met his visible green eye, sighed and took a step back out of his arms reach.

“Considering the circumstances, yes. Nothing which I haven’t encountered before as an outsider.”

“Right.” Lindow placed his arms on his hips. “But take some time for yourself, alright? No need to rush it.”

Lucifer just looked at him for a second and then nodded. “Will do but don’t let me stop you. Tsubaki isn’t one of the patient kind.”

Her statement earned her a smirk. “Yeah, I shouldn’t leave her waiting. Still, value my head on my shoulders, you know. Will you be with us for lunch?”

She hesitated. “I will try.”

“Well, better than a no, I guess.” He smiled and then walked into the briefing room, leaving her alone. Lucifer shook her head and sighed again. This man was more irritating than the aragami she met today.


	6. Eröffnung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old habits are hard to suppress, especially with the danger knocking on one's door. The odds are in nobodys favor but there is no other way to move forward. The devil can't resist the call of blood and discord, just as the fool can't resist taking new risky paths.

The acrid smell in the air made Lucifer wrinkle her nose slightly as she pulled her blade out of the broken, bleeding, orange-red back of her last prey. An act which she almost regretted as it caused more blackish liquid to ooze out of the corpse. Her nostrils flared in disgust at the stench.

Other God Eaters didn’t seem to be bothered by it, not even mentioning how vile smelled was or looked. It looked as if the blood was thick and rotten and smelled like a combination of a leaked battery and the sweet odor of long-dead flesh. It bothered her, much to her surprise. She wasn't particularly vain or sensible to smells. Showers and baths were a luxury on the street which nobody could afford after all.

It probably was the feeling of disappointment that amplified her feeling of disgust. The smell of fresh human blood was still on her mind and she could feel something pull on her heart at the mere thought. It was akin to a hint of excitement running through her, coupled with an unhealthy dose of paranoia. The incident had stirred something awake and her instincts were on an all-time state of alert.

This state had been useful in the past, not so much now.

Poor Kota hadn't even known what hit him when she threw him over her shoulder as he approached her from behind. It hadn't been her intention, nor did her mind really register what had happened. They just had shared a look of utter surprise and confusion.

Naturally, this incident had happened in the canteen in front of a good amount of other God Eaters.

Naturally, _Lindow_ of all people had been among them.

She stifled an inward groan at the memory. It didn't bother her that she threw the poor boy almost across the room. It was the fact that she didn't have her instincts under control when she should have.

Lindow took it with good humor. He let out a whistle and joked that he had heard that she ‘swept people off their feet’ but he didn’t think they meant it quite that literal. It could be that she had glared at him for that little comment but she was thankful that he managed to defuse the situation a little bit.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the redhead approaching, seemingly cautious to stay there where she could see him.

The young male cleared his throat to get her attention as he walked towards the ape-like Kongou. He looked carefully at the dead creature to make sure that it was dead before lowering his massive gun.

“T-that went well, right?” His voice shook and his face was paler than usual.

“It wasn’t so bad for your first larger one.” Lucifer agreed. It wasn’t her first medium-sized Aragami but her first Kongou as well. Lucifer glanced her comrade-in-arms to assess the damage. He looked a little bit disheveled with his hat crooked and his body caked with dirt, sand and some bruises.

It could have been worse, considering how the creature seemed to have taken a likening to him. The woman had given up to count how many times she had seen him sailing through the air because of a windblast. Not, that she went out of the fight unscathed either. To ease the assault on Kota, she had targeted the pipe like cluster on the Kongou's back. After she had managed that, she was promptly awarded with a fist huge fist swinging to her face.

Lucifer straightened her back and dusted the pulverized concrete from her shoulders. She could feel her spine crack, accompanied by an uncomfortable sting running up and down her muscles. The woman rolled her shoulders, pushing away the thought that she won't get an easy sleep tonight.

“Are you alright? Anything broken?” She asked as her gaze trailed over him. Kota perked up and gave her a smile.

“Nope. Everything’s fine but I know now how it feels to be stuffed into a vacuum cleaner.” The young man coughed to underline his statement. He looked exhausted as he let his shoulders slump down. “But man, this one was _way_ tougher than the Orgetails and Zygotes.”

A sigh escaped him and then suddenly he placed his free hand on his hip and grinned. “But it was no problem for us, right?! We were awesome!” He pumped his hand into the air as she just watched him.

For a moment, she wanted to point out that Kongous most often come in groups and that it was among the weaker species of Aragami. Their strength came from numbers, not from their intelligence or brute strength. They, however, _were_ a major annoyance and easily triggered by the smallest of noise.

Lucifer was silent, deciding to let him bask in the glory of his first big kill for the time being. God knows, he was going to need a little bit of self-esteem. Her lack of response made him frown.

“I think we did well enough…Seeing that we are still alive and not gravely injured.” She said and gave him a shrug. There were things that she still needed to work on but she would take care of it another day. With a sigh, she activated her communication device located on her right ear. She waited for a familiar buzzing before starting to report.

“Mr. Amamiya, the area is clear and the core is secured. No sign of other Aragami.”

 _“Yo!”_ Her superior answered. _“Great to hear that. How’s Kota do-…?”_

His sentence was interrupted by a gruesomely high-pitched screech which even made her ears tingle. She heard him sigh and mumble something under his breath.

 _“Hold on a moment…”_ Now he sounded almost annoyed. _“Sakuya, would you mind shutting this thing up? I’m kind of busy here right now!”_

Lucifer thrust her God Arc into the ground and leaned against it. While she listened to the barrel of gunshots, accompanied by another string of inhuman noises, she did her best not to sigh. Instead, she looked up to the sky and then back to surveying her surroundings. Kota was still busy to get the sand and fine dirt out of his clothes and hair.

Then, finally, Lindow gave a rather cheerful ‘thank you’ before clearing his throat.

_“So, Kota still alive and kickin’?”_

In the background, she heard Kota complain that he had probably swallowed some sand during their fight. She turned to him once more to see him gagging and grimacing.

“He is fine.” She responded before her glance fell back down on her weapon.

Her left eyebrow twitched a little bit as she spotted that the edge of her blade was chipped. The last overhaul had been just a couple of days ago and the mechanics had promised her that it was the best they could get from the Fenrir department. It seemed that it was time to schedule an appointment with the mechanic who was rumored to use raw Aragami parts to craft a blade. Some might say that this method is unorthodox but Lucifer didn't care. As long as the blade withstood a fight without massive damage, she was all for it.

Lindow’s voice pulled her out of her train of thought. _“We are finished on our side. Let’s return to the meeting point and call it a day.”_

“Understood.” She turned the speaking function of the device off and gazed at Kota who stretched his tired muscles. The young man looked at her and tilted his head.

“Let’s get moving.” Lucifer shouldered her blade and walked ahead, him trailing closely behind. Her eyes moved upwards here and there when they walked through a narrow alley in this ruined city. Eric’s death had been sudden and labeled as a case of bad luck but she believed that she had been careless.

A mistake which she wouldn’t repeat, especially when she had a fellow rookie in tow. Lindow had given her the order to make sure that Kota was coming back from this mission in one piece. With that, his well-being was her responsibility and she took it seriously.

One rapid-fire questioning session with her fellow God Eaters was enough to see that it didn't happen again. They didn't even let her room to breathe as they swarmed her. Her head still hurt from all the questions she had to answer that day.

Suddenly, she heard Kota stop in his tracks and she turned her head back to him.

“Is something wrong?” She asked.

“Hey…Was that guy watching us all the time?” Kota pointed up towards a halfway caved in building where a hooded person stood. She didn’t need to look long to assess who it was. The blue color of his clothes and the buster blade were already a dead giveaway. Her right hand twitched around the handle of her weapon, her paranoia kicking in in full force now.

“That’s…” Shortly, she searched for a name in her mind. There were so many new people that it was hard to keep track of their names and appearance. “…Soma if I remember correctly. He belongs to our unit but I don’t see him around often.”

Often, she spotted him in a corner somewhere like he was trying to hide from somebody. It was probably because some people gave him the fault for Eric's death. Since she was a rookie and treated as such, the veteran had to take the fall for the incident.

Her eyes narrowed at the blue figure who moved out of her sight a couple of seconds later. A couple of questions started to manifest in her mind and with it, the shadows stirred again.

 _“Why was he here? Nobody lost a word of him being here, nor did I see his name on the mission form.”_ She thought to herself.

 _“Coincidence? The area is big and full of Aragami. We can’t deal with everything alone, not with this new sunshine on the team.”_ A deep voice chimed in, the flickering shadow to her right tilted what she assumed was its head. _“Somebody called reinforcements. It’s nothing unusual.”_

 _“We got no info on that and even so…Then why was the hooded one watching?”_ Another one clinging to Lucifer’s legs whispered spitefully. _“Why didn’t he make himself more noticeable? Talked or informed us?”_

 _“Assessing the situation?”_ The one to her right threw in.

_“His glare lingered too long. He could have called. Why did the smiling one didn’t tell us that he was here? He was watching us for a reason. A kindred soul? A spy? Maybe for the director, maybe for the fool…We should act with caution.”_

Lucifer clicked her tongue and took the accusations of the one to her feet into consideration. It had a point.

“Have you ever talked to him?” Kota suddenly inquired and startled her out of her thoughts. Her eyes still trailed over the line of the building where Soma had been.

“Not really. He keeps to himself most of the time.”

“You mean…Just like you?”

 Lucifer glanced at Kota and arched an eyebrow. At least, she made an attempt to talk and be civil and halfway social, even if it was forced upon her. She never ran away from a conversation and tried her hardest to be patient with them.

“I’m really that anti-social?” Lucifer turned and started to walk again. They still had to meet up with their captain and now she had burning answers which demanded an answer from her superior.

“Well, how…should I put it?” Kota rubbed his neck. “For starters, people don't throw other people onto the table, or to the ground. If you catch my drift..."

This topic again. She almost rolled her eyes. They will never allow her to forget that until was dead and buried, won't they?

"It was a reflex." Her defense sounded weak and like an excuse. A fact that irked her more than she should let it. She apologized already for it and she won't crawl on her knees.

"A very painful reflex." He added and then started to grin. "But don't worry. No hard feelings, right? The others said it looked really awesome. Like some move out of a Kung-Fu movie."

Lucifer frowned, not knowing what he referred to and not daring to question it either. He often said something about a movie or a series but half of his comparisons flew straight over her head. Once she made a mistake and asked him what a 'cowboy' was. Needless to say, she still had a pack full of CDs and a list of recommendations in her room regarding the topic. He had shown up at her door, shoved them into her hands and left her dumbfounded in the doorway.

Lucifer still hasn’t decided if she should be impressed or confused by his behavior.

Nobody outside her own unit dared to approach her so causally. Especially after what happened to Eric. The rumors around her grew substantially after that. Now, among being the director's pet, she was sometimes called a heartless bitch. She earned this flattering nickname after she failed to show a reaction to his death and didn't show up to his funeral.

Some ignored the fact, that she had filled in for a friend of Eric that day. Yet, there were two other sentiments now towards here: One was silent admiration for her ability to not falter. The other was a gaze of pity as some said that she was pushing reality aside.

While she was paying attention to her reputation, she didn't really care what they called her. She had better and worse nicknames in the past and as long as it didn't put her at a major disadvantage she would take the rumors.

Even if she hated pity directed towards her, it had its uses. But there were more pressing matters at hand now.

"We should continue. Mr. Amamiya is probably already waiting for us." She spoke up with sending a last glance on the place where Soma had been.

"Yeah, we can't let him wait too long. Say, why do you call him 'Mr. Amamiya'?"

"That's a long story." It wasn't. "And not a pretty serious one, mind you." Lucifer paused as she jumped up a small pile of rubble in her way and waited for Kota to follow her. As he stumbled at the last part, she offered her hand to pull him up.

"You know", Kota smiled as they reached the upper edge. "You aren't so bad."

Lucifer was silent. He would rethink his statement if he had known her in the past and the things she had done. She wasn't a nice, selfless and kind-hearted person. Even her 'worry' for his safety was all because of an order and self-preservation.

But she wouldn't correct him, for her own sake and probably his own too. Believing in the good of other people was a luxury and she didn't want to take it away from him.

If things continued like that, he would hate her soon enough in the near future but hopefully, she was granted more time.

* * *

 

Unfortunately for her, her wish wasn't granted and she knew it as soon as she entered the main hall with the rest of the team. People were watching the screen of the TV standing there. Curiosity sized her and she glanced over the railing of the section above the mission corner.

A normal demonstration wouldn't cause that much attention from them. What she saw was a full-on clash between two groups of people. They showed pictures of someone throwing a burning towel and people beating each other up. Somewhere in the corner were soldiers who tried to break the break the fight up. The familiarity of what she saw made her muscles stiff. Her hands clasped around the metal of the railing to help her ground herself. The smell of burning wood was there and the taste of ash and blood.

Lucifer almost flinched as she noticed that someone occupied the space right to her left. Sakuya frowned and crossed her arms before her chest.

“Unbelievable, isn’t it?” Her voice was low as if she was talking to herself mostly. “As if the Aragami weren’t enough.”

Lindow hummed in agreement as he chewed on the filter of an unlit cigarette. His expression remained neutral, his body language lax and relaxed despite the news. Lucifer wonder quietly if a bomb had to go off to make him even appear remotely tense.

 _“Reports state that a meeting between two groups escalated.”_ The words of the reporter seemed so far away for a moment as she tried to pry her hands subtly from the railing. She stopped at the onslaught of sudden emotion rattled her through the bone. Something forbidden was squirming through her mind.

Her scars itched to an unbearable degree now. Her hands gripped the metal hard, enough to turn her knuckles white. Then she noticed another hand beside her own and it was visibly shaking. Her gaze trailed the limb back to its owner. Kota’s expression and whole body were stiff as his eyes watched the video footage on screen. He was highly alert.

“I-I have to make a phone call. Will be back in a sec.” He stuttered, his nervousness obvious before he turned away. Lucifer frowned, not quite sure what she should make out of his strange behavior.

“He has a family in the Outer Ghetto.” Sakuya whispered to her as she watched him searching clumsily for his phone. Lucifer watched as well and her eyes narrowed.

Lucifer rubbed her chin, her gaze wandering from the screen towards Kota and back. For a moment, she ignored the uncomfortable sting which seemed to crawl up and down her spine. Her blood was almost singing to the tune of the gruesome display and she loathed and loved this feeling.

There was a need these people or the Aragami couldn’t satisfy and now it was offered her on a silver plate. Right in front of her very nose, she could see everything she was familiar with.

And she wasn't able to go.

 _“Go there. Abandon them…Go for it. They are calling.”_ The voice inside her head beckoned. It had been so long, so painfully long.

The muscles in her arm went rigid and her expression froze with her body as she wrestled this need into the ground like many times before. It was beneath her to give in like a needy, frustrated little thing. The consequences of just giving in were too severe to even consider.

She felt a gaze on her and she didn’t even need to look to know who it was.

_“Don’t make a mistake. The fool is watching.”_

Of course, he was and it drove her self-restraint into overdrive. Mistakes were not forgiven, not now and not ever.

 _“Let him.”_ She refrained to click her tongue and instead took a deep breath. Her hands let finally go of the railing as she countered Lindow’s gaze and then nodded into Kota’s direction. It was a simple tactic to slip out of his grasp and better her reputation.

“I will see to him.” She said and turned around to approach him. Lindow's curious stare dug into her back but she tried her best to ignore it and the other voices for the matter.

Patiently, she watched how Kota punched the button on his phone to end his call. He took a shaky sigh and he visibly relaxed.

“Is your family doing fine?” Lucifer asked and he froze almost as if he didn’t notice her standing right behind her. He looked a little bit paler than before as he turned around.

“Y-Yeah. Everything’s alright.” He tried to grin but it failed a little. “Nothing happened. Mum was more worried about how I’m doing. You know, I told her about today’s mission and she got extra worried and…”

Kota tried to swallow the lump in his throat and to laugh, almost embarrassed that he caught himself babbling. He mumbled an apology before speaking up again.

“I’m fine, really, no need to worry. Everything’s fine, just…”

“It’s fine.” She signed held one palm up to prevent him to talk again. “It was an exciting and exhausting day and it is no shame that after this…” Lucifer nodded to the screen. “I understand. Just wanted to ask if you need help with anything.”

Kota blinked at her, confused and taken aback as if he expected her to be the last person to offer help or any word of encouragement. She didn’t judge him for it with her having a rumored emotional range and sensitivity of a brick. At least, she could play the role of being a worrier convincingly enough.

Amused, she tilted her head to the right. “I can’t smile but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have some form of empathy.”

Her emotions weren’t lying. She was sympathizing but that didn’t mean she couldn’t use it to her advantage. She had looked at the board long enough, she needed to start to lay out the pieces and slowly tip the scale in her favor. Preparation was half the battle, after all. Kota was a very social person and talked a lot with others.

He was also pretty easy to deceive. He would probably stand up to her if she continued being civil and nice to him. It was a start and it was cheap and easy enough to do.

But she wasn't in a position to be picky.

Yet, the biggest problem was still standing there and she didn't know what to make of it. Although she wasn't particularly interested in him, she couldn't outright ignore him.

She needed to know where he stood before she could advance. She wanted to be patient and drag this game on for longer but she didn’t have the time nor the will to do so any longer. The call was beckoning and she needed something to distract her.

There was nothing to lose for her and not much to gain.

Amusement tugged slightly on her lips.

She liked these odds.

 

* * *

 

 

Lindow watched her. Her gestures were slow, her expression just changing a little but she was able to somewhat put Kota at ease with just a minimum of words. Every gesture was controlled and told of her experience with people.

It was obvious to him that she knew how to play them, not that it surprised him or caught him off-guard.

He rolled the cigarette to the other corner of his mouth, his eyes narrowing at her for a second.

Lucifer knew that he had every reason to distrust her, and yet, she didn't even try to play it safe. It didn’t feel like she was lying and yet, it didn’t feel like she was telling the truth either.

It didn’t seem like she sided with the director, at least not willingly. He had given enough opportunities to her, going alone on missions together with no help in sight. It was daring but he was confident that nothing would happen and he trusted his gut feeling. She had no interest to make his life a living hell, didn’t disobey orders or discredited him. To be honest, he had the feeling that she didn’t even have an interest in him at all or anyone else in this unit.

She just talked with them when they approached her, not the other way around. For someone who the director might have employed as a spy or something else, she was incredibly passive. Still, he clung to the hope that the timing of her recruitment was just unfortunate.

The matter of Eric's death still worried him, however, especially after he talked with Soma about it.

_“Her face didn’t even move a muscle. She looked like she didn’t even care about what happened.”_

Soma was a blunt but honest guy and when he - as a veteran - was slightly unnerved by her behavior then Lindow wasn’t going to dismiss it so easily. Granted, the young man wasn’t the best with people but his gut feeling was rarely wrong, especially when he sensed danger.

Lindow bit back a sigh, not knowing what do with that sort of information. There was a lot to lose on his side if he threw his cards on the table and she was working for the director. On the other, she might help him. A hint of a smirk crossed his features while he turned away from Kota and Lucifer.

Maybe he would pay her a visit and ask for a beer from her rations after lunch. She would help him sort this thing out, one topic after the other. Then his gaze fell on the place where she had stood at the railing, and the smirk fell and he started to frown.

Maybe this wouldn’t only help him to clear his thoughts but hers as well and suddenly it felt like a talk long overdue. He glanced back at her, her empty green eyes watching Kota attentively as he spoke to her. The picture of a perfectly calm and collected person who was having just a normal chat.

And yet, the iron was dented where she had touched it.

In his mind, he asked himself what had her so agitated and careless what even a car-sized Aragami and the death of a comrade couldn’t manage. There was a lot she wasn’t telling him and she kept him in the dark of her ambitions and reasons for being here.

“Lindow, is something bothering you?” The soft, female voice made him blink once or twice before he looked down at Sakuya who had placed a hand on his own for a split second. When she wasn’t lecturing him about his health, she could be quite attentive and gentle. A smile tugged at his lips at that thought.

“Nothing much.” He replied with a slight shrug of his shoulders. “Just a little bit tense, I guess. There was a lot of paperwork to deal with the last couple of days. I have another date lined up tomorrow and I guess, I have a little time management trouble…I didn’t expect to be in such a high demand with the ladies lately. By the way, you won’t mind helping me with the paperwork?”

The medic crossed her arms before her chest and gave him a look. “First my beer, now you dump your work on me for a date?”

Her voice was dry and unamused, yet he didn’t miss the spark of worry in her eyes. She wasn’t stupid and he was awful at even attempting to lie to her. Many things went unsaid but she still understood that there was something that he wasn’t going to tell her. It was apparent that she knew what such dates inclined but she played along, for his sake.

“I make it up to you. I promise.”

She tapped her index finger against her chin. “Your dessert for a whole week and I will think about it.”

“You drive a hard bargain, milady.”

And there was the teasing smile he waited for blooming up on her face although he felt a slight sting in his heart. Sometimes, he told himself that he didn't deserve her. Lucifer wasn’t telling him a lot of things but he wasn’t any better. He openly lied to people who trusted him and even if it was for their sake, it didn’t change the fact that he did.

But he will see this through and hope that they would forgive him for this.

Green eyes rested on him for a second and he almost believed that he could see his reflection in them. They both played a part of a game which didn't have defined rules and could kill one of them in a blink of an eye. The situation was already dire as it was for him but he needed to push on or everything else would go to hell.

He could still turn things around but he needed help with that.

Lindow and Lucifer looked at each other and came to an agreement that went unspoken between them. Whatever would happen, both hadn’t the luxury to wait for the other to make the first move.


	7. Sturmwarnung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lured into the devil's den what questions might be answered? A dark past fitting for a dark personality but is she really telling the truth or does she just twist her picture to make him trust her? And still, despite a web of possible lies, she still gives him a warning.
> 
> (I apologize for mistakes that happened, it has been stressful for me in the last couple of days.)

Now, that was odd.

Lindow crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. His gaze went to the bustling canteen before he checked the time again.

Under normal circumstances, she would be here. Lucifer had the tendency to work like a clock - meaning she would repeat the routine the same way at the same time. It was one of the aspects he liked about her because it saved him the trouble of searching her all the time.

Well, normally, this would be the case.

She should have been here at 7 p.m.

It was 7:15 now, yet she was nowhere to be seen.

With a growing thrown adoring his face, he continued to watch the other God Eaters eat and chat. Now that he noticed that, Soma was still not here too but he was some sort of a wild card in that aspect. Considering the events of the last couple of days, he probably decided to lay low and go to eat when nobody was here.

A sigh tore through Lindow's throat at that thought.

He should ask tomorrow if someone had seen him and if not, he would make sure to drag him to the canteen first thing. He didn't like doing it, but he couldn't afford him skipping his meals and starving himself.

A touch startled him out of his thoughts. He inhaled as a hint of a flower perfume hit his nostrils. For all the vocal protest, she threw his way, she was using his gift way quite often.

He looked down at her and Sakuya tilted her head.

"What's wrong?" She asked. "Can't decide what you are going to eat today? I still have some curry left if you prefer that but only if I get your dessert for the rest of the week."

"A tempting offer." He hummed but then dropped his charade. One hand wandered to his neck. "But it's not about the food. You haven't seen Lucifer by any chance?"

His childhood friend blinked and placed a finger under her chin. Then she shook her head. "After the report, she said that she was retiring to her room for a while. I haven't seen her since then."

Then she began to frown, the worry plain on her face. "Is something wrong?"

For a moment, he wanted to say 'no' but she would see through him in a heartbeat. So he went with a truth.

"She looked a little bit tense after we saw the report about the street fight." The sight of the bent metal railing flared up in his mind. It was subtle but still more than enough.

"I see." Sakuya fell silent for a moment. "Now that you mention it... She did look a little bit pale, well, paler than usual. I asked her if everything was alright."

"She probably said something about after-battle adrenalin, didn't she?" It was Lucifer's go-to explanation for any hint of abnormality she displayed. He suspected that she knew as much as him that this excuse won't fly but it was better than admit something was wrong.

That girl would say she was fine while being logged between the fangs of an aragami that was trashing around. And the worst thing was that she would be so calm about the situation that he would almost believe her.

 _Almost_.

She had that kind of pride, he guessed, the deadly kind of stubbornness to hide her wellbeing just for the sake of fighting. The only time that seemed to keep her in line would be if she was in a group. Despite her asocial behavior, she was quite careful with what she was doing with a partner under her wing. After the last mission, she had fewer scrapes and bruises than the one where he let her fight alone. He made a mental note to keep Kota and her together for now. She seemed to tolerate the boy somewhat better than her own superior.

His attention drifted back to Sakuya who let out a long drawn out sigh. “Well, she needs more to fool me. I told her to rest for today and then report to the sickbay first thing tomorrow.” She said with a huff. “I’m not a medic for nothing.”

“And she said 'Yes, I'm going to do that?'” He didn’t hide the surprise in his voice.

“I said something along the lines that if I notice that she wasn’t going, I will drag her there.” Sakuya threw him a sweet smile which made his neck hair stand up. He knew all too well that she was more than willing to chain her poor patient to the sickbed if she saw it as necessary.

He cleared his throat, trying to shoo away these unpleasant thoughts. There were more pressing matters. “Hey, mind slipping me a copy of the results?”

“Of the checkup?” Her slender left eyebrow shot up. “You could just ask the doctor yourself, you know.”

“Well…I kind of…might have snuck out the sickbay the last time and…”

“ _Lindow_.” Sakuya put both hands on her hips. He looked away from her downright deadly glare. He cleared his throat and took one step away from her.

“Well…” He drew out the word and subtlety glanced at the exit. “I will go look for our little devil now. Catch you later.”

Lindow tried to make a rather elegant getaway but it probably looked like he made a hell-bent retreat from a raging creature. It kind of was the case. He jogged up the tiny set of stairs and probably pushed the elevator button a little bit too hasty and repeatedly as he saw her approach.

The man smiled apologetically at her as the doors closed before she could reach him. He sighed relieved although he knew that he would see her again tomorrow and had to explain everything. Although there wasn’t much to explain. He and the resident doctor didn’t come to an agreement and so he thought he would just stand up and leave.

But he could deal with it after the more pressing matter was over:

Tracking down Lucifer and have a little talk with her.

Chances were good that Lucifer was still in her room. Or at least, he hoped she was.

Lindow crossed his arms over his chest. Even so, there was still the question if she would even let him in just like that. The woman liked her secrets and her privacy. He walked across the corridor, glancing at the number plates as he went past.

He wasn’t one for long-term strategies or careful planning in foresight and made things up as they go more often than not. A fact that Sakuya chastised him every time he did something borderline reckless on the mere whim that it could work. But it had saved the asses of fellow God Eaters multiple times now, so he wasn’t really feeling ashamed of it.

But Sakuya remained the worrywart, she always was and she knew that something was strange. He wanted to tell her what was going on a couple of times now but he just couldn't. The thought nagged on him in the back of his head.

Often he had imagined to come clean and then get the lecture of his life from her. He would never hear the end of it until he died. Tsubaki, on the other hand, would have been more violent. She would probably chuck more than a clipboard at his head and give him a lecture.

For once, he was glad that she didn't have her God Arc anymore.

At least, Soma would just glower and hit him in the worst case to vent. Lindow admitted he deserved it, in some way or form. His whole plan was stupid, reckless and beyond impossible to work but he would be damned if he didn't try. They told him it was dangerous, he knew it could kill him, yet there was so much to lose if he failed.

Lucifer's recruitment was the tip of the iceberg. There had been a reason why a ghost with military knowledge would just appear in front of him. He didn't know why or what her job in all of this.

“Here goes nothing.” He muttered to himself as he proceeded to push the button right beside her door. Seconds passed before the door opened and revealed the small female to him. For once she didn’t wear the black jacket but a white shirt underneath. The sleeves were rolled up, so he could get a good glimpse of the scars she had.

He swallowed - maybe staring at her arms for a second too long - before he started.

“Hey there, I just wanted to ask if…”

“Come in.” The woman cut him off with a faint smile on her face. Now, he was having second thoughts about this. A little bit too late, but he still had the option to bail and recover. She was making this too easy and he felt something twist in his gut. That wasn't a good sign.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "I'm not forcing you if you don't want to."

Her voice held a soft note of amusement to the point where he expected her to chuckle afterward.

"If you don't mind?" It was a lousy retort but the best he had at the moment.

This time she chuckled as she stepped away to let him enter. "I still owe you a beer, don't I?" She gestured to the green couch. “Take a seat. I will be with you shortly.”

Lindow let his gaze wander a little bit around her room. Then he told himself to relax a little. This was just a talk between comrades-in-arms, nothing more, nothing less. Still, he felt like he was trapped with an aragami in a very small room.

Still, he strode over to the couch and sat down. Out of the corner of his eyes, he watched her. Her back was open to him and he noticed a black line close to her neck. Lindow's eyes narrowed.

 _"A tattoo?"_ He wondered. She normally wore the standard uniform with a high collar which would cover this up. A tattoo would explain why she was not very keen on the other uniform models or the more revealing ones.

Lucifer moved out of his field of sight towards the tiny fridge in the corner of the room. He could hear the door opening and closing as he let his gaze wander around her room. It was tidy, besides the book stacked in the corner and some loose paper on top of them. The desk in front of him was empty aside from a chess board and an ashtray.

People often said that the room reflected its owner and he was a strong believer of this. Sakuya always had something prepared on her kitchen corner and some magazines lying around. Aside from that, her bookcase was full of books about medical procedures. There also would be a first aid kit somewhere but he had no idea where she hid that. She always had one around.

Soma’s room was like him - a mess with a broken window and weapons strewn around. Lindow still wondered where the brat was able to smuggle them around without anybody noticing.

Lucifer's room looked - compared to those two - almost unused. The kitchen corner seemed untouched and there were no personal items on the shelves. He took one of the books from the stack beside the couch and read the cover.

Something about aragami biology and habitats and below that a Japanese dictionary. She once joked about having a one-track-mind but now he wasn't so sure if that really had been a joke at all. She seemed like a work-and-no-fun kind of girl.

_"Does she even have hobbies?"_

Then his gaze fell on the chess board.

That kind of hobby actually fit her but the thin layer of dust told him that it was unused for a while.

Lindow flinched slightly as he heard something being placed on the table in front him. The slender fingers retreated as quickly as they came into his field of vision and the shadow of the person walked around the table. She was almost eerily silent now when she moved around.

Normally he would hear the combat boots she wore.

He eyed the can of beer for a second.

“Do you need a glass?” She inquired, now standing by the kitchen corner to brew something for herself. From the scent, the man believed it to be tea.

“Nope, I’m fine. Thank you.” Despite sounding relaxed, he felt tense but he hoped that she wouldn’t catch on to it. The cup clicked against the ceramic coaster as she placed it on the opposite side of his seat. With one fluent motion, she sat down and looked at him.

“What earns me the honor of your visit?” She inquired.

“What earns me the honor to be let in just like that?” He asked back and one of her slender eyebrows furrowed in response.

Then they were silent, gazing at each other as if to assess how to go on from here without turning this conversation into an awkward disaster. They were both here and they were both ready to talk about _something_.

Lindow inwardly sighed, searching for a topic to begin. If he kicked in the door with the heavy topics occupying him right now, she would grow suspicious and he lost his chance. He inhaled. The stiff atmosphere wasn’t ideal to talk either. There had to be something to loosen it up.

His glance flickered shortly back to the chess board. Chances were that she didn’t play because she didn’t have an opponent to play against her. He wasn’t good at the game but he knew the basics. He would have a better chance to keep her entertained.

“Say, why don’t we play a game of chess?” Somewhere in the back of his head, he could feel his inner self face-palming at the sudden and out-of-nowhere delivery.

The young woman frowned.

“Pardon?”

“Look, it’s not an interrogation or anything.”

“Ah”, She said and then her gaze trailed off. She was thinking about it which was good. “Unfortunately, I don’t know how to play.”

That was bad.

It was the last effort to turned this less awkward than it already was, he said: “I could teach you.”

For a moment, he believed that she would throw this attempt into the wind as well. Again she was silent, looking at the chess board. Then she looked back at him, with a strange glimmer in her eyes that made her look so much younger.

“You…would?” Her complete innocent and soft delivery of her question, made him bite down a chuckle. It made her sound almost like a little girl.

 _“Who knew that the devil could actually act like a normal kid?”_ He thought to himself amused before nodding with a smile.

“Sure. I only know the basics, though. So I’m sorry if I’m not that much of a challenge.” He moved the chess board in front of them and started to carefully explain each and every piece and what rules applied to them. She was watching, attentive and – for once – invested in what he said.

The only times he got this look was when he explained how the God Arc worked or shared his knowledge about aragami. With a hum, she rubbed her chin.

“That sounds a little bit complicated.” She remarked.

“Well, you don’t know it until you try.” He tried to encourage her. He wasn’t really good at the game either and his losing streak against his sister was almost legendary but it would suffice. He hoped that at least.

“That’s true. I believe it’s your turn then.” Lucifer was still fixated on the chess board as he moved his pawn forward. He knew that the last time he played was years ago and he was never good at it in the first place but it was better than nothing. The tense atmosphere relaxed a little bit as her attention was now on the game instead of him.

At least ten minutes went by in silence before he dared to speak up. Lucifer looked at the chessboard, calculating her next move in her mind.

“About Eric…” Lindow started carefully. “I know that might be a little bit late for that but…”

The woman looked up at him and then she leaned back. She placed her left elbow on the armrest, hands intertwined before her. The cold and apathetic glance returned in a second.

“You aren’t here because of Eric.” She said. He almost winced how razor-sharp her voice sounded now but it was now or never. He had to see this through.

“I’m not?” Lindow frowned, trying to keep up the charade. He _was_ worried after what happened with Eric, so it wasn’t exactly a lie.

Lucifer sighed deeply and her shoulders dropped a little. It almost sounded exasperated.

“So this is what it is? Luring me into a game and then interrogating me?”

“Like I said, it isn’t an interrogation.” Maybe it would work better if he pulled rank, just a little bit. She had the military knowledge and she obeyed orders without much protest. He would not order her to answer this question but give her a reason why she should.

He inhaled before he folded his hands in front of him. “You and I know that I don’t really care about formalities and all that jazz but you are still a part of the group. If something is wrong, I have to see what it is. Believe me, that can spare you and me the trouble of a psychiatric evaluation and so on.”

It was a little bit of a bluff but he could send her there to get a check on her state. It was a lengthy and annoying process and he doubted that she would take the risk.

Lucifer watched him for a second and then rolled her eyes at him. “You have to do better. I know very well that the word of a unit leader alone is not reason enough to send me for an evaluation. Besides, you don’t seem the type to do something like that only because of this. Ha, where would we be if after every death a God Eater has to do something like that?”

It didn’t surprise him too much that she knew about that but it still was a problem. Before he could open his mouth, she exhaled audibly and crossed her arms over her chest.

“But I understand your worry and your job as a leader. It’s a good thing but if we are having this kind of discussion, I don’t want to be the only one who is honest. I know that this isn’t only about Eric, so please, speak your mind.” Her voice dipped into a softer, more soothing tone.

“Yeah, you seemed a little bit off after we saw the news today and Sakuya told me that you didn’t look well after the report, so…” He dragged the syllables of the last word out and clapped his hands together. “I thought that I should check up on you. Did you know someone who was involved in that mess or…?”

Lindow waited for her to fill the gaps but she was silent again for endless seconds. Then her eyes closed and a frown appeared on her forehead.

“I didn’t recognize anyone, no.” Silence settled once in again. She placed both hands on her lap, the left overlapping the right. A ragged oval scar was in the middle of the back on her hand. His gaze probably lingered again a little bit too long as she lifted it up and her eyes wandered to it.

“A broken combat knife. Three years ago.” She explained curtly. “I thought I would lose the use of my hand completely as well as my hand. The blade was broken off and the wound wasn’t that big but the rust and…” Lucifer licked over her lips as she looked at it. “End of story, I couldn’t really feel half of my hand after it healed. Tendon or nerve damage as they called it. I’m not so knowledgeable about the details or medicine to know if that’s correct or not. I was told that I was lucky.”

“Does it still bother you?” As if to show him, she balled her hand into a fist. He noticed that the reaction of her ring and middle finger were slightly more delayed than the others.

“Is it odd to say that suddenly feeling with this hand again is kind of strange now?” She chuckled, opening her hand again and turning it around. “It didn’t happen in one of such street fights, however. A couple of other past injuries did.”

“I thought you said that you grew up outside of Fenrir.” He recalled the rather short conversation about it. First, he believed that she referred to living in a group wandering outside the walls but this would hardly involve such fights.

“Not every city is under Fenrir’s jurisdiction.” This mere sentence made him frown.

“The rumored satellite cities? Well, I have…” He started and then stopped himself. He looked at her, the feeling of suspicion rising uncomfortably in his gut. The existence of satellite cities was not common knowledge and Fenrir HQ more often than not swept the fact of their existence under the rug.

He, like every other long-standing God Eater, who was lucky enough to stumble upon them, knew of their existence. Although his contact with them didn't last long, it had been apparent that they didn’t like Fenrir. Or their soldiers in their turf, for the matter.

At that time, he wanted to report his findings but was then advised to keep silent about it and never speak openly about it again.

Lindow’s mood turned sour just recalling that event.

Still, the topic always brought trouble with it and at the moment, the less trouble he accumulated, the better.

“Why are you asking?” He inquired instead, opening his can and bringing the beer to his lips without breaking eye contact with her. For this heavy conversation, he undoubtedly needed some alcohol and nicotine in his system.

“I lived in one.”

Lindow almost choked on the sip that he had tried to swallow a second earlier. He coughed and then looked at her with teary eyes. She threw her gaze back with a frown as he still tried not to suffocate.

“If you are planning to die, please don’t do it in my room. I’m not keen on the trouble that would bring me.” He chuckled between the coughs at her snide remark. After finally taking a deep breath, he smiled.

“Oh no, you won’t get rid of me that easily.”

Lucifer clicked her tongue and with an unmoving expression she replied: “Unfortunately.”

“Now that was kind of harsh. Who knew you dislike me that much?” Lindow leaned back with the can in hand and whistled.

“Dislike is the wrong word here.” Lucifer shrugged her shoulders. “But I will admit that I think that your…actions to earn my trust are annoying at best. It’s nothing personal. I like keeping to myself. People are…” She stopped, slightly tilting her head from one side to the other. “Exhausting.”

“Then why did you let me into your room in the first place?”

“Because I want to set a couple of records straight before it causes more trouble than it is worth. My lack of records stems from the fact that I’m not only an outsider but also a former citizen of another city that wasn’t in Fenrir’s territory. As you know, this isn’t quite a safe topic to discuss with just anyone.”

Oh, he knew more than others but it was kind of surprising that she admitted everything so easily.

“So, your whole military training…”

“Ah yes, when I turned eleven or twelve I was…adopted for the lack of a better term. They instructed me how to speak and they taught me everything I know…It…was a strict upbringing and highly restrictive.” For a second her gaze flickered away from him again.

t was the nice way of saying that she was raised to be a soldier. The thought tasted bitter. People were able to join the God Eaters at the young age of fifteen. In the past, they even allowed younger kids to take up the God Arc, most often orphans.

Because it was the only way some orphans had a chance to climb the social ladder from the bottom. It was a heartless business, he knew that and he begrudgingly accepted that too.

They were genetically enhanced soldiers and nobody of the upper class cried a tear when somebody died. Some people looked even down on them, calling them Fenrir's dogs or impure due to the Oracle Cells.

God Eaters were only held in high regard because they were the only weapon that _worked_. And not anyone could become one.

"Why did they choose you?" Or rather for what? But he thought this question was too direct.

Lucifer half-opened her eyes and her look was distant as if she was reliving this memory. There was something in her eyes that could only describe as wicked.

"Because I asked them too."

That answer rekindled his own memory of all these kids asking and wanting to be like him after he slew an aragami in front of them. He didn't know how it looked to them but this question never sat right with him. He couldn't tell them to their hope-filled expression either what their desire meant.

"And did you get what you wanted?" He wanted to ask this question so often. If these kids ever became God Eaters and if they were happy with it.

He doubted it as he saw her look, the empty stare that pierced through his very soul. The very expression of a broken doll that was somehow kept together by glue from breaking apart.

"Yes, I got what I was begging for." She paused, her eyes wandering to his eyes with sudden conviction and buried sentiment. "And I will choose this path again and again if I had the choice."

"But why?" He asked. "I know this whole heroism deal is quite appealing but..."

A laugh cut him off, deep and hollow, which made his blood run cold.

"I don't do this...or anything else because I want to be a hero, Mr. Amamiya." She said with a shake of her head. "There is nothing heroic in bleeding and lying in the dirt, begging for your God to save your life. I wanted to know things outside my reach and for that, I gladly paid the price."

Lindow frowned. "To know...things?"

"Knowledge is a rare good. Knowing how to survive, which plants to eat or not, how to build a shelter or disinfect wounds gets you a long way." Lucifer elaborated. "I was a curious child."

That was why she accepted his offer of teaching her. He noted that characteristic in the back of his head. If he wanted to know something, he had to teach her something in exchange. She probably expected information in return for telling him all this. After all, her status as a former non-Fenrir citizen was a risky thing to reveal.

 _"Wait."_ Someone with military education who grew up in a place that probably loathed the Fenrir Corp. just appeared on their doorstep. He doubted if she was working for Fenrir under these circumstances. What if she wasn't?

His eyes narrowed just a tad to not alarm her of the sudden thought running through his head.

_"Is...she a spy?"_

"So, then why are you here with Fenrir?"

"Because..." Lucifer placed a hand on her chest. "This body wouldn't have lasted another week without the Oracle Cells. It has been through a lot of abuse and it wasn't that healthy, to begin with. It was a coincidence that I washed up on the shores of the city. A whim of fate, as you will. I had nowhere to go."

“And they saved you to be part of the New God Eater line.” He clarified.

She nodded.

With someone who was practically non-existent in this city and close to death, it wouldn’t cause a lot of trouble if she had died due to the experiment. On the other hand, if she survived and did well, they could use her as some kind of proof of Fenir's benevolence.

“But I’m not naive enough to believe I don’t have to pay them back more than just my service as God Eater. To be honest with you, I fear that they want more to compensate the whole process they had to do to get me in.”

“So you believe that they guilt you into doing more for saving your life?”

“You always pay a price when you cheat death. It might be a baseless worry but still, it feels like I’m felt off quite easily for this kind of deal.”

He nodded. She couldn’t hide her military upbringing and it would make her a useful tool. Furthermore, because she could be disposed of easily if something went wrong. If that was the case, she probably believed him of all people being directly involved with the higher-ups.

Which would explain her distrust and carefulness when she was interacting with him.

His eyes narrowed. He had no idea what she would gain for confessing all this to him. There was no reaction on her face that gave away her true intentions.

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Aren't you the one coming here to find answers?"

"Yeah, but that's not without some kind of prize either. I'm not giving you my soul, just for the record. I probably taste bad."

Lucifer looked amused, almost delighted by his retort and he couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not.

"To be honest, I don't really want your soul, Mr. Amamiya." Then her expression turned serious again as she intertwined her hands. "I told you because I don't want these things used against me. I have the feeling that there is something going on here and it is rarely wrong in such cases.”

Then her gaze locked on him like a hunter observing their prey. The green in her eyes glimmered as she watched him. Her voice lowered to a whisper.

“Trust me or don’t. It doesn’t change the fact that there is a storm brewing under your nose.”

 


	8. Im Schatten des Wolfs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Troublesome things are brewing in the shadows of the Fenrir buildings. One wants to quell a source of danger before it arises, the other meets it headfirst. And then another source of trouble enters the field. One that might tempt the beast a little bit too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took some time but hey, at least the chapter has over 6.000 words. Nothing much happening...aside setting things up. I thank everybody who just reads it and leave kudos. I know I'm a slow writer (since rl is a 'insert curseword here') and the story drags a little on but hopefully you still enjoy it.

The plan was a success. Two minor groups were sufficiently weakened with one coming out on top while the other disappeared or got captured by the authorities. It only took a couple of days for them to unearth their supply bases which spoke of the efficiency of the police network of Fenrir. All they needed was a bird tweeting the right direction into their ear.

The winner with this pyrrhic victory wasn’t faring any better. They took causalities and their new recruits weren’t what they seemed on first glance. It would take not even a week before they had dismantled their group as well. It just took some whispers of betrayal in a tense atmosphere and those naïve newcomers would go against each other throats in a matter of minutes.

What would stay was the sudden void of leadership and a broken group. Now, everything should move forwards fast. They had to install themselves into this newly opened void.

Vic hummed as he looked at the report in front of him, coded in a cipher that only a chosen few were fluent in. He threw it back on the desk. Sayuri did her work well but Hunter was still a source of problems. All of this was his idea, to begin with, but the guy was so impulsive and reckless that it made him wonder how he survived so long.

It could be because the former Boss moderated his impulses if he even dared to go too far ahead. Vic couldn’t do that, not in this state. He had a hard time to even convince the younger ones that he was in charge now. They preferred physical powers over mind and if he couldn’t protect himself, they would deem him as weak.

The younger ones wanted Hunter who was active and young. He could bring results to the table in a quick, yet not very thoughtful manner. The only backing he had, were the handful of the old guard who nominated him as a leader in the first place.

Vic grumbled under his breath. Had their old leader chosen a successor beforehand, this wouldn't have happened. Needless to say, the successor would have had to survive all of this mess first.

With a growl, he rose from his seat. His bones ached and his joints felt stiff. Not to mention the constant burning stretch from his scars that littered half of his body. He straightened his back and regretted it immediately. He was getting too old for all this backstabbing and blackmailing business.

“That popping noise your spine makes doesn’t sound very healthy.”

“Shut up, Hunter.” Vic snarled. There he was – his bodyguard and biggest rival - standing in the doorframe with his dusted hood drawn into his face.

“Maybe you should take a break.” The younger one suggested and Vic would gladly do just that if he was in any position to do so. He didn't want the job and would gladly pass it on to someone else.

If it had just been anyone else than Hunter.

That youngster would drive his group into ruin if he was ever given the reins.

“Yeah and you would take up my slack, or what?”

Hunter shrugged. “Only if you offer it.”

“In your dreams. I have acknowledged your wish for getting access to Fenrir’s archive but the group comes first.”

“Which should mean that we gain access to it and locate the others.”

“Yeah, just for them to die a slow death because we don’t have enough to feed them. Yeah, we have weapons now, and medicine but we still need to eat.”

The size of rations per day was kept small. Years of training made them not quick to hunger but it wouldn’t last. They need a constant income source that won’t get them in trouble. Fenrir’s police force wasn’t a pushover that could be just easily ignored. If they caused too much discord, they probably put them on their trail.

Even if it pained him, he couldn’t and wouldn’t just collect people which he couldn’t feed and take care off. It would make them weak and an easy target.

 “If we get our hand on citizenship, we could send some sleepers around the working force. Not to mention that citizen get a small contingent of Fenrir rations every week.” Vic continued as he moved around slowly around the desk. “It would make a suitable income…”

“There is just a tiny, small problem with that. There are only two ways to gain citizenship: Either being born in a Fenrir city or being capable of being a God Eater.”

“At least officially. Families of future God Eaters are sometimes permitted to go with them inside the city.  We all know that Fenrir executives aren’t above  the practice to lure people in with free citizenship.”

“So…” Hunter surely frowned under his hood like he always did when his voice strikes a certain tone. “You are suggesting taking this “God Eater test” or what?” He ended his sentence with a hiss.

“Look, Hunter…”

“No. I won’t serve these fuckers. I won’t even pretend to serve them. You know what happens if you become a God Eater, don’t you? You will be monitored 24/7 and thrown out as cannon fodder for these fat bastards in their high towers to have an easy life.”

Vic had struck an old and still sore wound. Hunter had never been a fan of politicians and authority for one reason or the other. He never asked why, since Hunter’s story was none of his business but he was too quick to condemn them. Vic looked at the hooded male who was seething at the mere thought of this happening.

“You don’t have to.”

“The others won’t.” He snarled and bared his razor-sharp teeth. “You won’t sacrifice anyone here to them.”

Vic’s visible eye traced over the man in front of him. Then he started to chuckle until he laughed despite the pain that shot through his whole body with every breath he took. He steadied himself on the desk to his side until the sudden rush of humor vanished out of his system.

“Oh, Hunter…” Vic shook his head. “You almost sound like we have a choice in that matter. Ah, yeah, you are too young to know this but I talked to the people who were there in the beginning…And what they did to climb to the top of the food-chain.”

He turned to him, to this person who had seen nothing and believed to know everything regardless. Just seeing this naïve harsh man made him nostalgic in a strange sense. Vic had been a part of the system too long and had seen and done horrific things. To the point that he was convinced that there was a very special place in hell with his name on it. He had been the same at the beginning like Hunter was.

But someone didn’t survive and reach his age with clinging on that sort of mentality. Now, he recalled, how old he was compared to his rival. More than ten years, in fact - well on the way of reaching his forties which shouldn't be that old. But in this kind of business, it made him ancient and he felt it in every cracking joint in his body.

The thought made him unclench his fists and dissolved the anger and the frustration he had with him.

Hunter was just a child throwing a tantrum. A very dangerous child.

“They built a mountain of corpses made out of enemies, comrades and even themselves.” Vic sighed. “Forget that we were strong once. We are weak now and one single misstep can and will kill us for good. Your problem with Fenrir or whatever brought this up is none of my business but…”

He paused, leaning forward and lowering his voice to a whisper. “If you continue to act like an immature kid…”

He couldn’t even end his threat as he caught something in the corner of his vision moving. Hunter seemed to have noticed it also. His posture had hunched over, one hand already in one of his pockets where Vic knew he kept a knife.

“Now, now, children. Just take a deep breath and we can get to a compromise.” A light female voice echoed and was followed by a chuckle. “Maybe.” The visitor added.

Hunter grumbled something under his breath and relaxed but Vic was still tense as the woman moved towards them. Slender and tall, she walked like the door entrance was her own personal catwalk.

A hand moved over her bald head, while her oval hazel colored eyes watched them. Even her simple outfit - combat trousers and a black tank top - couldn't hide her graceful slim figure which she carried with confidence. Her sharp facial features and piercing stare reminded him of a cat and she had the personality to match.

“Really now.” She huffed and crossed her arms. “I leave you alone for more than two hours and you are at each other’s throats again.”

Vic sighed and glanced at her arms. He could still see the pale black lines of a tattoo spreading across her skin which resembled feathered wings or the half of a flower in full bloom. A tattoo that had brought him more headaches and stress than it was worth.

“Eyes are up here, Vic.” The woman’s tone was teasing instead of offended. She probably thought he was looking somewhere else.

“Eye.” He corrected and cleared his throat. “I thought you were meeting up with Hana.”

“I did.” The bald woman answered with a shrug. “She and the others are still out and gather more information. By the way, we have successfully infiltrated the victor. Misaki and his partner scout for suitable candidates for us before we go on to dismantle them.”

“Good. That makes some things easier.” Vic exhaled. The tension from before slowly sapped out of his body, along with his energy.

“Sayuri.” Hunter addressed the female, looking at her. “What else?”

Sayuri glanced back at Vic as if she waited for permission to continue. Vic narrowed his eye at her. This wasn’t boding well.

“Go ahead.” Hunter would be livid if he withheld information from him and he didn’t want to stir the anger he held too much. It wasn’t healthy for the group.

“Nothing concrete, unfortunately, but rumor has it that some mercenaries who were involved in our…troubles, were caught in this city.”

And the tension rose again in the second the last word left her mouth. Vic inhaled sharply as he could feel how his heart sped up.

“They are here.” Hunter mumbled under his breath as his body trembled and his breathing hitched. Vic could see how his lips spread into a grin.

“Hunter,” Vic called out to him. “Call your group together now and prepare for the mission. Report to me tomorrow morning.”

“Understood.” The hooded man saluted, suddenly obedient to his command. With the grin still plastered on his face as he skipped out of the room with a hum. Sayuri watched him leave with a frown.

“Was that really a good decision?”

“Starving animals too long isn’t a good practice. Some of them itch for a hunt. Sometimes you have to give them what they want. Besides…” Vic walked over to her. It was just an excuse to get him out of the room and concentrate on something else.

“I know you better than him. So what’s the complete report?”

“They had someone with them. Probably one of us. It was a young woman.”

“Now that’s troublesome.” Vic rubbed his chin. “Do we know if it’s really her?”

“…Not now. What do we do if that’s the case?”

Vic crossed his arms and chuckled to himself. “What we always do.”

He paused and locked eyes with her. She already knew what it meant without speaking out loud.

_“_ _Kill her.”_

* * *

 

  
Lucifer held her gaze on him to take in every small movement in his face. It was a risky, reckless gamble to be sure, to hint that she knew something that she didn’t. She had prepared the web and pulled the strings to lure him in

Presenting information about herself that would gain his trust, urging his honor and pride to return the favor in kind. He probably thought that her behavior as strange or illogical but he missed a very important detail:

She didn’t have anything to lose.

Naturally, he could slander her name when he gossiped about her origins but she could deal with being put down and shamed for what she was or had been. It only tickled her nerves and made her laugh at the pathetic needs some people had. True, it might make some things difficult and she would rather defuse a situation than provoke it but desperate times took desperate measures. She had no grand delusions that she would make it out of this place alive but this made this game so much more interesting and enticing.

There was no fun in it if there wasn’t a serious threat to deal with.

He didn’t answer. She watched how the muscles on his arms and along his jaw tensed. She could feel her lips spreading but she forced down the impulse. Her bluff hit a cord. There was something beneath that was interesting. Something she could use to her advantage.

Lucifer sighed. “I apologize. That might have sounded too sudden and strange.” She chuckled and combed through her hair. “I just…remembered someone else who was just like you. The talk we had was very similar too.”

Lindow furrowed a brow. “Really?”

“Yeah.” She looked away, picking a memory most suitable for this situation. Most of it was twisted, some parts broken but it would suffice. She lured it out from the back of her head. A person was sitting in front of her with a permanent smile on her features as she greedily grasped for the food on the table. It wasn’t much, just a couple of roots, bread and other eatable things she had managed to salvage.

“Ha…” She watched the shadow move, talk and eat. “No, that’s not quite correct. You just gave off a similar feeling. She was inexperienced, harsh and didn’t think ahead. Always on the move, never standing still.” Her eyes followed the shadow around the room as she remembered.

“Then one time…I felt something off. I couldn’t pinpoint it. I had no evidence for it, so I just dismissed it. I let her go that day.”

Lindow was silent for a second, almost as if he already knew how this story ended but still, he asked, “What happened?”

“She was almost crushed to death by a building. I was told the structure was brittle and that others warned her from going in but that…stupid, stupid girl did it anyway. She later died due to the injuries. A painful way to go.” Lucifer closed her eyes and inhaled.

“After that, I always say that when the feeling rises again. At least you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Ha, for a moment, I thought that you actually cared about my wellbeing.” His voice dipped into the teasing tone again. He didn’t seem all that caught off guard with her story, accepting it as it was. She appreciated this sentiment as it made things easier.

“We are soldiers. Too much empathy is a dangerous thing to have in this kind of profession.”

He quirked one eyebrow. “So, you are scared of the pain when you lose someone important to you?”

Lucifer let the fingertips trail over her chin in deep thought. Forming friendships wasn’t something she did, neither was she really used to have a constant companionship around. Faces switched so quickly that she barely could keep up. Nobody in her memory asked her if it hurt when she stumbled over a dead body which she still recognized. It always had been a given that she would just move on, no strings attached. It made her sometimes wonder how many corpses were piled up behind her.

She had cared once. She was sure of that or believed it to be. She had things she cared about somewhere but it felt more like a numb haze than really an actual feeling.

“Are you?” It was a cruel question to return. He probably won’t admit it or couldn’t, since a leader hadn’t the luxury to be too honest.

“If I see that they don’t get themselves killed, then I have nothing to worry about.” He shrugged his shoulders. The answer was incredibly naive for a man of his station but something in his look made her halt with her condescending assessment. It was determined but without the spark, she would expect from a naïve, all-loving kind of hero. He had seen too much to keep it.

He was a veteran through and through. Sometimes when she heard others talk about him, she forgot that he was a soldier, serving already a couple of years now. He wasn’t naïve but a man with a goal. Admirable but it did set off all alarm clocks in her head. That wasn’t the look of someone who played by the rules but one all too willing to break them to protect someone else.

“Naturally.” She answered after she hesitated for so long to show a reaction. This mindset would probably stir up some conflict sooner or later. If stirred in the right direction, he might truly become a good asset for her. The person who was so respected and beloved by the soldiers had an easy time to turn them against authority.

The chaos that might issue would be a welcome distraction but one with too high costs that she would actually consider doing it from the get-go. She had no issues with the God Eaters nor really with Fenrir and she wasn’t too far gone to say that she would just go over bodies when it wasn’t necessary.

“It’s such a heroic thing to say.” She added. “Fitting for people like you.”

“Ha, dunno about that being a hero thing. I just survived a couple of more battles than the average God Eater.” Lindow rubbed his neck and sighed. “Nothing special, I guess.”

“The recruits still like you.”

He looked at her with a smirk. “Clearly not all.”

“Just because I don’t like you, doesn’t mean I hate you.” She corrected.

“Then why do you grimace and look like you are going to get sick every time I approach you?”

It made her chuckle. “Fair point.”

_“Your kind is just too bright to look at. Like a flame, consuming, burning anything in its path.”_ She thought to herself. _“And people are like moths…The question is how many will you burn?”_

“I will correct myself. It doesn’t matter if I like you or not. You are my superior and someone who is far better in this business than I am. I respect your decisions and follow your orders. I apologize if that’s not enough.”

“To be honest, I feared you will say that.” He said with a sigh. “We aren’t that rigid with the protocol around here, so…”

“Mr. Amamiya. I’m not a mindless drone. Do something that is irresponsible and stupid and I will disobey you. It’s as simple as that.”

“Even if they lock you up for disobedience?”

“…The cell that can hold me needs to be built first. I want to avoid it, however. Still, I have still things I need to do, so I’m not really keen on dying yet. I will not die under anyone’s command. Sorry.”

His expression turned stern. “I don’t know what you think of me but I would never say or do something like that.”

“No. It is just a ‘what if’. I trust you enough to hope that you won’t do something stupid. I’m just not so sure about the director. There is something in his gaze.” She rubbed her chin and looked at the chessboard.

_“Cold madness hidden in his dead eyes. Ready to break out, barely contained.”_ Words she couldn’t say to Lindow or to anyone. He was the head of this part of the organization after all and they probably wouldn’t take kindly to a nobody trying to slander him.

“Something?” Lindow inquired, now leaning forward. Something was in his eyes too. Curiosity mingled with determination.

_“What is he looking for?”_ She asked herself. _“What does he want to hear from me?”_

Her eyes narrowed, deciding for a tactical retreat. She still didn’t know for sure where he stood. A careless word more was more than dangerous. But at least, he had his curiosity now. Another bait to lure him.”

“… I apologize if I spoke out of turn. Just my paranoia speaking. Some habits are hard to quell sometimes.”

Lindow seemed to sense her unwillingness to continue this part of the conversation. He folded his hands together and looked away. Then he exhaled.

“It’s getting late.” He suddenly stated and she glanced at the clock. They had been sitting here more than an hour. “It’s time that I go. Sakuya will probably strangle me if she notices that I stayed up too late.”

Lucifer blinked surprised at his sudden decision to leave but she couldn’t agree more. The tension was strenuous on their nerves and nobody needed a tried soldier. Then she glanced at the chess board.

They hadn’t finished the game as they were occupied by other matters. He followed her gaze and chuckled.

“We will finish that tomorrow, alright?”

A perfect excuse for him to come again.

“Fine then. I wish you a good night.” She nodded at him and he returned the gesture. He turned away and walked to the door but he hesitated for a moment to leave.

“Hey…Thanks for talking to me and not kicking me out.”

Lucifer chuckled. “Thanks for teaching me how to play chess.”

“And don’t forget your check-up appointment tomorrow.”

He was probably smiling to himself as he exited the room, fully aware how she started to scowl at him. She had forgotten about that.

“Goddamnit.”

The smell of cigarettes stayed and she wrinkled her nose.

* * *

 

Lucifer somehow dreaded checkups. Not because she was very squeamish when it came to needles but because they are a threat to her freedom. She needed to get out of this prison every once in a while and a doctor’s word could take this away from her.

She had taken care of herself. Washed and cared for her injuries, eat two to three meals per day and avoided trouble as good as she could. All so that she could avoid this. And still, it had taken just a slip up and a pale complexion to be sent to the front door of the sickbay. Lucifer clicked her tongue in frustration and decided to get it over with.

An old woman with short grey hair greeted her while barely looking up from her clipboard. She pushed the glasses up the bridge of her nose and mumbled something.

According to protocol, Lucifer wanted to introduce herself with a salute.

“Recruit Lucifer from the…”

“Yeah, I know who you are.” The doctor rather harshly cut her off. “Please take a seat. “

She gestured towards the seat in front of her and Lucifer followed quietly. The doctor scanned her shortly before looking back to her files and sighed.

“Mrs. Tachibana told me that you need a checkup.” She tapped her pen against her clipboard as she spoke. Then her eyes narrowed at Lucifer and suddenly the latter felt as if this was going to be like an interrogation.

“Bless her good eyes. She already saved a couple of rookies with them. I will not ask if you are feeling unwell. You seem to be the type to deny everything even though they dislocate their arm.”

Lucifer frowned at the statement. She didn’t know how doctors were supposed to handle these situations but this one sounded like she was fed up right from the start.

“That’s a very…brutal statement to make.” The younger woman pointed out.

“But a true one.” The other added and flipped to the paper. “I know young blood are overly excited to throw themselves to their deaths. Most don’t survive the first couple of weeks.”

_“Young blood?”_ Lucifer’s frown deepened as she repeated that in her thoughts. Nobody had called her that in years.

“Taking that statement into consideration, I must be either really bad at throwing myself at something or really bad at dying.”

The doctor looked up from the clipboard with a  furrowed eyebrow.

“Oh, a snarky one.” She said, the tone of her voice between bored and unimpressed. “Well then, please take off your jacket and shirt. I will do a few tests.”

Lucifer gave in to the order, seeing that there was no benefit in quarreling with a doctor. Quickly, she unbuttoned her jacket and her shirt underneath to shrug them off.

“What are these bandages?” The doctor pointed at her chest. Her eyes narrowed as if she was suspecting that she hid an injury there.

“I’m binding my breasts back. I feel more comfortable that way when I have to fight.” With was true. Or more or less a habit Lucifer had taken on over the years. The less she showed, the better.

“Never thought of buying tighter clothing? Something more…formfitting?”

“I don’t like formfitting clothing. It feels…” Lucifer fumbled to the correct word. “Suffocating.”

The woman watched her with an unreadable expression on her face.

“Fair enough. I still have to ask you to loosen them up. I want to run a few tests considering your respiratory system and lungs. It’s better when your ribcage isn’t restricted.”

Lucifer closed her eyes with a sigh and followed the order, stripping her upper body naked. She tried to cover herself with one arm to save her a little bit of modesty.

“Here. Use this.” The doctor handed her a white towel. “Don’t worry, you are not the first person I see naked in my carrier.”

With a nod, Lucifer took it and held it to her chest.

“…Doesn’t it hurt binding them back? Or causes you suffer from a lack of air sometimes?”

“I’m used to it. If it gets troublesome, I just cut the bandages open.”

“You shouldn’t restrict your ribcage. If you are in a life or death situation, the lack of necessary oxygen might cause unconsciousness.” The doctor didn’t ask about her scars or looked remotely surprised as she continued with her examination. She checked her heartbeat, taking notes here and there. She carefully touched her ribcage, putting slight pressure on it.

“Hmmm…That seems fine too.” She mumbled to herself and then glanced at Lucifer’s face. “Just a word of warning: The Oracle Cells give you a higher pain resistance. Which means that you sometimes don’t feel that your bones are bruised. Yeah, you heal faster and in two to three days it would be fine but not immediately. Yesterday I had a rookie here who has punctuated his lungs with a broken rib.”

The doctor sighed and rolled her shoulders. “God Eaters should avoid taking too much internal damage. Yeah, your body repairs but if you have splintered bones, we have to get them out. Due to your regeneration ability, it’s a pain to perform an operation, since the cut tries to close up immediately after the skin is damaged. Not to mention that God Eaters need more narcotic substances than a normal person…Your fast metabolism is really a curse sometimes.”

Lucifer tried to picture it in her head and she agreed that it didn’t look pretty or something she wanted to get through.

“So, turn around, please.” The doctor commanded and she followed.

Her touch trailed over her spine making her shiver slightly. The old woman hummed.

“Sakuya was right sending you here. You don’t seem the type to take care of themselves properly.”

“My skin scars easily. Or rather, it used to.”

“Some of these injuries were pretty deep.” The doctor pointed out and she could feel a cold fingertip trail along a line on her skin. Suddenly Lucifer flinched and moved slightly away from her.

“Did that hurt?” Now the woman sounded apologetic, her annoyed tone dipped into a more worried and soft one.

“They…They itch from time to time.” Lucifer forced out trying to regain composure. The doctor hummed again.

“I see. I can give you an ointment for it. You can apply it two times a day. However, I wouldn’t recommend using it on open wounds. It will sting like hell.” Then she retreated. “This will get cold now. Please take a deep breath.”

The woman wasn’t joking as some cold metal touched her skin. She jerked. “Remember deep breaths now.”

Lucifer tried her hardest but having that thing wandering over the probably most sensitive place on her body was making it hard to concentrate on her breathing pattern. Her hands clawed into her towel and she suppressed a hiss until it was over.

“Hmm…I see, but just to be sure, I will take a little bit of your blood for a couple of tests.”

Lucifer glanced over her shoulder and saw the doctor prepare a couple of needles with a sudden cheery tune on her lips. The old woman turned to her with the first friendly smile Lucifer saw. And it looked wrong.

It looked so, so wrong in this situation.

Lucifer’s muscles tensed in accordance with that feeling.

“It might sting a bit.”

The young woman eyed the long needle. “You don’t say.”

There was nothing to be done. It was either that or Lindow or Sakuya fuzzing over her and benching her in the worst case. She placed her arm on the desk and sighed. There was no reason to fight it. She just wanted to get over with all of it already and get out of here before this doctor came to the glorious idea of dissecting her.

After the doctor eyed the dark red liquid in the small sample, she started to ask questions. How tall she was, her weight and other concerns with her health like dizziness, trembling, not being able to concentrate and so on and so forth. Lucifer tried to answer each and every one as concise as possible while the doctor scribbled down her answers. She admitted that she was easily fatigued and she had problems with her stamina. This wasn’t something that was new or something she could hide.

Then the doctor took a deep breath. “Sakuya was not wrong about worrying you. You are underweight, have low energy and your skin is pale and dry. Probably your reaction time isn’t at its best either…” She tapped the pen against the clipboard. “Did past injuries take longer to heal? I mean before you became a God Eater?”

“I…think?” Lucifer answered and the doctor rubbed her chin.

“You were probably malnourished. Or still are.” The old woman pointed out. “Considering you are one they picked from the outside, it’s not particularly surprising. I will subscribe some protein pills and vitamin supplements. They should come with the next delivery of personal items. Until then try to not miss out on any meal and report any health issues immediately – and I repeat – **_immediately_** to your superior.”

Lucifer looked at her and tried to assess if she should ask or not. In the end, she decided she would either way.

“That means I can still go on missions?”

“Yeah. You can. But not alone. I will inform Sakuya of the results. She helps schedule the missions with Lindow, so there shouldn’t be anything to overly worry about. He takes good care of the recruits and has a keen eye for such things.” The doctor sighed and rubbed her eyes under her glasses.

“With that said, you can get dressed and out of here. I’m busy today.”

The last statement wasn’t even a joke. Lucifer hardly finished buttoned up her jacket as she was practically shoved out the door and left in the hallway. Dumbfounded, the woman glanced back to the closed door, correcting her collar.

She frowned. “I swear this building is full of curious people.” She muttered under her breath and almost jumped out of her skin as she noticed someone standing in front of the door.

Kota gave her an unsure, crooked smile and waved.

“H-Hey! Heard you were having a check-up and just wanted to see if you are alright.” He was stuttering a little bit and it didn’t get any better as she just looked at him with a furrowed eyebrow for a while without saying anything.

Then Lucifer exhaled. “I’m fine. Just a routine checkup.”

“T-That’s good...I guess." He fell silent and then suddenly perked up again. "Lindow said something about a big surprise today."

That didn’t sound good.

With a sigh, she combed through her hair. “Did he specify what he means with that?”

The young man shrugged. “Not really. But I heard we are getting new recruits. Maybe we get a newbie too. Then I'm not the rookie of the group anymore.”

Lucifer took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes. This man was frustrating and she wondered if he was worth the effort.

They marched down the stairs towards the cafeteria and just at the entrance, she spotted Lindow talking to a young woman with ashen white hair and a very revealing outfit.

Her eyes trailed over her, the short skirt and the short vest. The zipper on her vest was stuck in the middle and showing up that the girl didn’t even wear anything underneath it.

_“What is with God Eaters and revealing outfits?”_ There was only so much to the argument that some revealing clothing was easier to move and quicker to put on. This outfit looked like she was trying to compensate for something.

“Do you know her? She looks kinda cute.” Kota whispered to her from the side. Naturally, he would find this girl cute.

_“Hormone-addled teenagers are so readable.”_ One shadow purred on her shoulder with a chuckle and she rolled her eyes.

“No, I don’t,” Lucifer whispered back as she continued her way towards Lindow who spotted her immediately.

“Hey, how was your checkup?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary. The doctor said that she will give Sakuya the results.” Lucifer glanced at the girl who crossed her arms and looked at her. Just then she noticed the red bracelet.

_“A New Type?”_

“Lucifer, that’s Alisa. She transferred from the Russian Branch to our unit. Alisa, that’s Lucifer, our famous New Type.” Lindow introduced them to each other.

“So…That’s the big surprise.” Lucifer muttered under her breath.

The girl named Alisa flicked her hair back and looked her over with a rather judgmental stare. “I have to admit, I expected someone…different.”

“I apologize not living up to expectations. But then again, I’m used to it. Even our leader expected someone with horns.”

Lindow chuckled. “Hey, that was just a joke.”

“Your test-scores seem to be alright but your ability with the gun are quite lackluster.” The girl then continued. “I don’t see why people speak so highly of you. You don’t seem like much.”

_“This girl tries to call the shots, doesn’t she?”_

Lucifer frowned at her, being caught a little bit off guard by the girl she only just met.

“Aside from the fact, that your name sounds so juvenile, it only can be taken as a joke.” Alisa then continued and Lucifer watched how Lindow stiffened in the corner of her vision. “Mind telling me your real one?”

“Alisa…” Lindow intervened. “That’s a mystery everybody’s interested in but Lucifer prefers that name, so…”

“Are you joking, right?” Alisa flipped her hair back again.

“No, he isn’t. It’s not all day that I’m greeted with an assessment of my test results _and_ the ridicule of my name.” Lucifer chuckled, earning a condescending look from Alisa.

_“Careful, young one. Don’t tempt the hungry demon.”_

_“Oh, that’s going to be fun.”_

For a moment, she wanted to strangle the shadow sitting on her shoulder but instead, she pulled her lips into a smile.

“Greetings, Alisa. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Her greeting was received with a huff and a flick of hair. Lucifer chuckled.

Fate didn’t stop tempting her at every corner.

 

 


	9. Druck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can stand still. Everything has to move eventually. Sometimes it needs just a little push to force somebody to move.
> 
> aka
> 
> Alisa is being stand-offish and causes trouble. Lindow wonders if he's supposed to be a parent for his team now because they always cause some sort of trouble.
> 
> Lucifer lets go of her bystander syndrome and is making Lindow paranoid because she can. 
> 
> Lindow needs a break. 
> 
> Warning: Very dark implications.

Lucifer watched another heated verbal argument unfold in the main hall, just after she had returned from her mission with Sakuya. The surrounding people watched and mumbled but didn’t dare to interfere as Alisa flicked her hair behind her shoulder and watched how Shun’s face grew red with anger.

Shun was a resident, little snobby hothead who was quick to point fingers and parroted one rumor after another as if they were actually true. His skills as God Eater was subpar in some aspects but he survived longer than her, so she will gave that a pass. And even though, he was a great tool to create a diversion through rumors, his loudmouthed presence was irritating and tugged on her nerves more than once.

Naturally, Alisa with her ingrained ability to upset people with just a couple of sentences, had chosen him as her latest victim. The day before it had been the leader of the 2nd Unit – Tatsumi if she recalled his name correctly – about his apparent inability to be pragmatic on the field.

Lucifer could remember how she leant against the railing and listened to the girl throwing around one strategy after the next that would work better in one specific situation. And it made her _groan_. From a theoretical standpoint they would work perfectly, practically this was a whole another story. The 2 nd Unit was occupied with defending _civilians_ and scared people were unpredictable to deal with in a fighting situation – a point that people often underestimate. Sometimes a handful people who didn’t follow orders was enough to turn a clean mission into a bloodbath.

With that in mind, she didn’t envy Tatsumi and the rest of his unit for dealing with that. And to their unit’s credit, he did his job good, or at least well enough for the majority to survive if there had been a breech.

But Alisa couldn’t let this little imperfections go, with _no one_ and she was very verbal about it. Not a day went by until she pulled another one into a verbal quarrel with her standoffish act and Lucifer, of all people, had been asked to rein her in. It was Lindow’s job, not hers.

Sakuya besides her sighed, deep, tired and frustrated with the situation at hand. As vice-captain it was her duty to go over there and break the fight up.

“...I will go and report to Tsubaki.” Lucifer lowered her voice, so only her superior could hear it and threw a short glance in her direction before going back to the quarrel in front of them. That would save them some time and it would keep Tsubaki from dishing out punishments again when she came down to search for the source of all this noise. A tactic that Sakuya used with Lindow when something came up and Lindow had to intervene with something.

Sakuya frowned at her. “You sure?”

Tsubaki wasn’t an easy person to hold back and deal with but she would take the risk. The instructor had the habit to punish the whole unit for such offense, either for inaction to deescalate the situation or because the offender needed to learn that if they got punished, they dragged the whole unit with them. A poor excuse for team-building exercises.

Lucifer hadn’t the nerve or time for this.

“I will manage. It doesn’t seem like much of a fight...More a heated debate. It should cool over soon enough.” Lucifer shared her observation. The woman besides her chuckled. Maybe it wasn’t the right word, seeing how Shun’s hands were twitching as if he wanted to squeeze some imaginary person’s throat.

“ _Heated debate_? Rook, if that’s a heated debate than I don’t know what you file under ‘having a fight’.”

“ _A fight has more knives and guns and verbal and physical backstabbing than that. Maybe with or without poison if someone feels especially offended.”_

This rather sarcastic observation that, for once, came for herself, instead of the shadows still pooling around her legs. It had become common at some point after dealing with Lindow’s or Kota’s antics for a longer period of time, more the latter than the former. Lindow made a point to put them in one team, saying that they worked well off each other. She had nothing against Kota, nothing _efficient_ against the babbling and confusing mess he was sometimes. But he was tolerable, considering the alternative.

“It’s a suggestion. Take it or leave it.” Lucifer shrugged her shoulders.

Sakuya hummed and crossed her hands before her chest. “If you think you could do it, I would be thankful.”

She took it as a yes.

“Alright then, see you at dinner.” Lucifer gave her a nod before she took as step back from her. She watched Sakuya move forwards towards the source of the tumult while she dove to the side as she caught everybody’s attention. It was easy to move as the others watched on the sidelines to see the situation unfold now.

She reached the stairs without problem and proceeded to make her way towards the second floor towards the mission briefing room. It wasn’t really a room, more like a hall with a tribune on the right and a massive screen with multiple small ones at the left. Below this screen were desks and chairs with electrical equipment like headsets and the like. In the middle was a big rectangular table with another screen under its surface of glass. A broad orange map was depicted on it with the latest news and signs of Aragami activities.

Lucifer gave it a quick glance. A couple of dots that moved on the map blinked and disappeared. It seems the other termination mission was going well. Then she directed her eyes towards the person currently looking over it.

She cleared her throat to catch Tsubaki’s attention and as soon as she had it, she did her usual, atypical salute. Her right hand balled to a fist, placed on the left upper side, just below her shoulder. She could see at their frowns that it wasn’t the typical military salute they expected but they never went out of their way to correct her.

“Lucifer.” Tsubaki greeted her with a nod.

“Instructor Amamiya.” She returned her greeting and waited until she gave her the sign to be at ease. The woman sat her files down and let her eyes flicker shortly to the door.

“Where’s Tachibana?” The much dreaded question.

“Currently occupied, Sir. To save time, I volunteered give you a thorough report of the mission.” Lucifer reorted. There was no use lying or make up excuses with her.

“Occupied with what?” Of course, she asked and judging for Tsubaki’s narrowing eyes, she wanted answers and names. She knew already that somebody was stirring unrest. The tricky part was to keep the instructor from leaving the room.

“Opposing opinions between two different parties. No physical action is involved.”

Tsubaki looked at her, sighed and shook her head. “No more dancing around the issue, soldier.” Her voice dipped into an icy tone. Commanding and fitting for the rumored Queen of Ice and a sign of trouble for her vague answers.

“There’s no issue. Just a heated debate and Sakuya took it on herself to see that it’s not going to be more than that.”

Tsubaki’s back straightened; her answer displeased her. She would probably now see for herself if Sakuya could manage it or because she didn’t tolerated quarrels that drew attention between God Eaters. Understandable but Alisa was part of the 1 st  Unit and every ounce of trouble she collected over her time her, fell back on their unit, and so the punishments. If she convinced her to leave it in Sakuya’s hands, then Lucifer didn’t have to worry about being benched or do paperwork.

The young woman licked over lips. Tsubaki was very strict with hierarchy and authority. A point where she could hook into and twist it towards her advantage.

“If I may...A lot of people are watching.” She began carefully, watched Tsubaki. “And Sakuya is still a vice-captain. If someone else does her job, her integrity as an authority figure would take a hit. People might say, she couldn’t deal with the situation alone or she hasn’t a member of her own group in control.”

 From a hierarchic standpoint, if Lindow wasn’t present, Sakuya was responsible for the group, not Tsubaki. The older woman was quiet and narrowed her eyes. The attention was on her now and she didn’t make any attempts to leave the room. Good. Now she would force this attention onto another issue.

“And I’m sure.” Lucifer continued quickly. “We have other problems on our hands than breaking up a very unimportant squabble.”

There, a spark of interest at her implication, as Tsubaki leaned over the map again.

“What did you find on your mission?”

Lucifer cleared her throat before she stepped closer. “While our sweep mission in the Wailing Plains went without problems, there’s still a...worrisome circumstance that we uncovered. The quantity of Aragami was bigger than expected but we attributed the appearance of the two Gboro Gboro in the area.”

Her finger followed the area points on the map until she stopped in an area between the points ‘Wailing Plains’ and ‘Sunken Grind’. Then she continued. “We met with another patrol from the Sunken Grind, Karel Schneider and Gina Dickinson. They reported that their group of Aragami group was smaller than reported. Coincidently, the ones we killed were the ones reported missing on their side.”

Her eyes trailed towards the City of Mercy. “Of course that isn’t something usual. However, the Aragami we intercepted were wandering towards the coast before we caught their attention. They clearly were not staying and feasting on debris like usual.”

“So you think that they were moving to somewhere specific?” Tsubaki asked her while her eyes followed the line that Lucifer drew on the map.

“The credit for this idea goes to Sakuya, not me. I don’t have much experience when it comes to Aragami behavior. If this suspicion proves to be true, however...” Lucifer’s gaze trailed towards the isle not far from the coast. The Aegis Island, the artificial made isle and the pride of the director.

Kota told her that every high-level core that they gathered was shipped towards this island to further the development of the Aegis Project. The director promised safety, a shield, a weapon against the Aragami threat with if the project should ever be finished. She wasn’t so sure if that really was true. Kota tended to exaggerate here and there.

“I will wait for the report of the patrol we sent in the City of Mercy and the Forgotten Carrier. If this theory is correct, we really might have a problem on our hands.”

That was the nice way of saying it.

If their goal was the Aegis, then yes, they had a problem. A huge, catastrophic problem. God knew how many cores they had stored there and if just one little Orgetail managed to kick in the doors and get its fangs on them, it would produce an Aragami of apocalyptic size and power.

Tsubaki frowned and closed her eyes. They had to wait but the possibility of this being true was even worrying for Lucifer.

“Thank you for the information. I expect a fully written report in the evening.”

Lucifer saluted and bowed. “Of course. I will deliver the news to Sakuya.”

The interaction had been straight to the point, she achieved what she was planning to do. She left the brooding to Tsubaki while she went on her way to her own room. Writing reports was dreadfully tedious but there was no way around it, not in this kind of trade. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, searched for Sakuya’s contact. Then she opened the tap for mail and typed in:

“ _Written reports are due today evening.”_

And hit send. She didn’t care of mistakes in her writing, the meaning got across and all she wanted to do was getting a shower right and get over with the work she still had on her hands. The information that Lindow gave her were scarce but at least it was something and the Aegis Project that Kota mentioned the other day was also an interesting thing to look at.

Unfortunately, the system protection that Fenrir used was hard to crack and it would take weeks to get through that without the needed authorization to access the files. _If_ she had even the skills to do that. While she knew a couple of basic things, she was completely lost if things got complex.

And there was the whole matter with this other New Type. Aside from the girl sparking her curiosity more and more, the more she saw of the girl in action, the more a strange sensation of ‘something is going to end in a disaster’ was making itself apparent. 

That girl had a specific look in her eyes when she fought Aragami. Hatred, sure, many people hated these creatures but there was this hint of...She could only describe it as a mix of disgust and the need to kill. A worrisome combination for a soldier. And her eyes were always searching the field.

Always looking for something when they were outside the walls.

What was the girl looking for?

She rubbed her eyes and her hands over her face.

And then she almost walked into her own door because her brain didn’t register that she had to open a closed door _before_ entering a room. With a groan, she rested her head against the metal surface for a moment. There was so much to keep track off and the daily physical taxing work did not help with that.

Not with this wreck of a body.

At least nobody saw it.

“Right...Still have to take the meds.” She muttered under her breath. With a lazy movement, she opened the door before some fellow rookie walked down the hallway and saw her running into her door or the wall again. As she shut the door behind her, she immediately stripped out of her uniform and pants, reached for the meds on the desk and fetched a glass of water from the kitchen corner.

She starred at the liquid in her hand for a second. Her thoughts trailed off again. Something was off about Alisa although she couldn’t pinpoint what. No, something about this whole situation was off. Why was she here? What is that girl searching for?

“ _Does the fool know?”_ One shadow whispered to her feet.

He probably knew more about her case but how to approach him without destroying the small piece of trust she started to build up with him?

Her attention drew back to the pills in her other hand. Suddenly her arm muscles tensed and froze in position. It refused to move. Lucifer clicked her tongue.

Not this again.

She sat the glass of water aside and used her free hand to cup it under her unwilling one to force it to move. Her hand started to tremble under the unwilling strain but she still made it somehow as she shoved the pills in her mouth and swallowed. Immediately she took a swig of the water to wash it down before she could spit them out again. 

“ _They are just vitamin supplements.”_ She reminded herself. _“Just something like health pills."_

She never took them in battle, never found it necessary. She had them in her pocket, accompanied with the small syringe version of them that were more potent. The adrenalin in battle would keep her body from acting out at this as the instinct to survive was stronger than this irrational reaction.

It took just a couple of seconds before her breathing hitched and her stomach revolted as it tried to throw them up again. She clasped both hands over her mouth and focused on keeping them down until the reaction of her body passed.

She trembled, a slight sheen of sweat covered her face as she inhaled.

“ _Don’t forget...We are not allowed.”_ A soft whisper in her ear that made her shiver. A memory of a hand full of pills flickered through her memory. Another wave of nausea hit her almost immediately after but she kept it down, _forced_ it down.

This body belonged to _her_.

She chuckled.

This stubborn little thing, interfering with such simple things.

“Don’t fall apart now.” She told herself as if scolding a child. “I still need you.”

 

* * *

 

After returning from another special assignment, Lindow had been briefed on what happened with Alisa and Shun in his absence. He sighed as he covered his head in his hands. For once, he just wanted one day to just get dinner, get some beer and kick back for the day.

Instead one of the rookies or Soma creating trouble when he wasn’t there. Either Kota being caught talking ‘indecently’ about other female God Eaters by Tsubaki, or Alisa not having a brain-to-mouth filter and start a heated argument with another God Eater or Soma being somehow involved in a brawl. He could hear Tsubaki’s voice in his mind already as she scolded him for being too lax with his subordinates.

Lucifer was the grand exception of the rule but that young woman was a whole chapter by herself. The sort of kind that was a walking omen of doom for him.

“Did I miss the promotion to be their parent somewhere along the way?” He mumbled as he opened the beer can and took a long drink from it. The alcohol burned pleasantly down his throat but it just lasted a second. Sakuya chuckled and pat his shoulder.

“The good news is that Lucifer managed to keep Tsubaki away from the situation this time around.”

Now that caught his attention. “She did?”

“And she offered the help.” The medic added.

“That’s...” He paused and wanted to say, ‘great’ but that’s not the exactly the feeling he had at the moment. Lucifer was polite and distant and more specially, she had a massive case of bystander syndrome. If it didn’t concern her in some way or was specifically asked to do something, it didn’t exist and she didn’t care. She hadn’t bat an eye as Karel and Shun were at each others throats again the last time. She just continued to read her book even after Karel had Shun by his collar and pressed him against the surface of her table.

Her response to that was just flipping the page. Her reasons for this? She wasn’t their superior or instructor and nobody asked her to do something.

“Strange.” He finished with a frown. 

“She slowly comes around. She was really a big help on the mission too.” Sakuya was smiling, pleased by the event. Bless her good heart sometimes, but he didn’t think that was the case.

“Maybe.”

His eyes searched for Lucifer in the cafeteria. She was there, sitting alone as always. Kota was the only one keeping her company besides him during mealtimes but he had still a report to finish and would skip dinner today.

The young woman was occupied with a book while she was eating. Then she stirred, eyes searching for something until they locked with his. Her tense shoulders sunk and she gave him a curt nod which he returned. Today, he might visit her again for a can of beer and a game of chess, just for fun this time around, instead of an interrogation. She could banter if she liked and most of the talks they had were pleasant if they didn’t revolve around topics that were figurative land-mines for both of them.

Her attention suddenly shifted to someone else and he could see her slowly growing tense and defensive again. Curious, he followed her gaze to the offending person and then felt his stomach drop a little. Alisa waltzed over to her. That conversation could only go two ways if their first meeting was any indication.

Either Lucifer was ignoring her and Alisa got mad or she tried Lucifer’s patience and god knows, how that will end. Carefully he nudged Sakuya, and nodded towards the pair.

“That’s an...interesting combination.” She commented and watched as Alisa sat down in front of Lucifer. “But it seems to be going alright.”

He hoped so and then changed his mind as he saw Lucifer smirk and cross her arms before her chest. As far as he learned, when she did that, she was either entertained or he was moving on some dangerous territory, especially if her other body language indicated the contrary.

Like crossing arms or narrowing her eyes.

They were warning signs and a non-verbal dare to continue.

“I will go see what this is about. I’m back in a sec.” He excused himself and walked with slow steps towards them until he heard them speak. First he would assess the situation, then decide if he needed to interrupt them.

“The Far Eastern Branch is famous for having one of the best God Eaters around. To see so a mismanaged, juvenile impulsive bunch isn’t what I expected, especially since they throw tamper tantrums whenever I suggest a better strategy.” Alisa ranted and crossed her arms before her chest.

Lucifer placed one elbow on the desk and place her head on that outstretched hand.

“The only one who is outright juvenile is you.” Lindow flinched a little bit. That was a rather blunt, unrefined retort. Something that he would expect Soma to say once in a while.

“Says the one with the most juvenile name in the entire den.” came as rebuttal.

“If you ride on such small details instead of actually seeing what counts, then I can’t see a very bright future for you.”

That had Alisa open and close her mouth wordlessly for a moment but Lucifer didn’t seem to give her the time to form a decent counterattack.

“You seem to forget, all of these people have survived on the field with much less than us. And for that alone, they have my respect.”

“ _Even though you have a really weird way of showing that, Rookie.”_ Lindow thought to himself but couldn’t help but smirk. Then he made himself aware of the situation and it vanished.

“You berate them instead of learning because they don’t go by the book. Some theories don’t translate well to the practical field.” She argued.

“And you know so much more because of the two additional weeks that you had.” Alisa scowled and Lucifer narrowed her eyes and her smirk grew. That was more than a red flag for him. Lucifer was smirking like a cat ready to pounce on a defenseless mouse now.

That was his cue to interrupt it before it got worse. He stepped closer and made his presence known.

“I don’t get to see you two together often. What’s the occasion?” He took a cigarette from his pocket and lightened it. Lucifer gave him a sideway glance. He couldn’t decipher if she was tolerating him or frustrated that he interrupted their conversation.

“She originally wanted to thank me that I saved her hide. I just told her that she should stop what she was doing there back with Shun and the others and here we are...” She shrugged her shoulders. “I apologize for taking your job. Old habit of mine.”

Lindow crocked an eyebrow at that. “My job?”

But she didn’t elaborate further, instead she had her eyes on Alisa again. “But before I leave this to you, I have one question for Alisa.”

“Uh, sure?” He was confused why she phrased it like that.

“ _Wait a moment. Is she using me to escape this conversation?”_ The thought amused him and annoyed him in equal measure but he let her continue either way.

Lucifer leant forward and folded her hands together. “Aside from your...tries to improve other people’s performance, I have to admit that watched yours over the past couple of days. While I have nothing to criticize your battle performance and execution, I can’t stop the feeling that you are still searching for something out there.”

Alisa tensed as Lucifer locked gazes with her after saying that. Lindow knew that look. A strange combination of piercing and staring into someone’s soul, or rather dissecting it part for part until someone was stripped bare in front of her.

“And since so many other branches are searching for reinforcements, why come here? According to my knowledge, there are already a couple of other New Types out there, so you don’t have to come be here to interact with another New Type.” She rubbed her chin, feigning as if she thought of it just now. “Other branches are closer to the Russian Branch, too, so why taking the risk to come here?”

Lindow was quiet, waiting to see where Lucifer was getting at. Her questions made sense, on a rather uncomfortable level. Why was Alisa here in the first place? Especially with her medical history, she wasn’t suited for the frontline. It struck him as odd but hell, in the last couple of week everything that happened was odd on some level. The amount of special missions, Lucifer’s recruitment, Alisa’s recruitment and dozen other things he didn’t want to think about, especially about the director’s _maybe_ growing suspicion toward him.

“I don’t know what you are getting at. The answer is quite simple. The director of the Far Eastern Branch invited me here.”

Lindow could feel a knot forming in his stomach as he heard Alisa’s answer. He didn’t know that it was on the director’s direct wishes – or order of the matter. Why would he collect mentally traumatized kids and shoved him onto the frontline?

Maybe it was more the question why he shoved them in his unit in the first place.

Lucifer’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh? Is that so? That’s interesting. Then I apologize, I was just curious and didn’t mean to imply something.”

He looked at Lucifer who threw him a rather oddly satisfied gaze in return. Her apology rung hollow for him. She had done this on purpose, so he could hear it out of Alisa’s mouth. There were a lot of implications now what it meant for him. Alisa and Lucifer were here because the director willed them to be here, both have rather questionable pasts, but while Lucifer made it clear that she didn’t have any loyalty for this man, Alisa’s side of things was left ambiguous.

Now that he went over Alisa’s file in his head, he remembered that she was trained in self-defense. For the reason that it would help her mental state. With the warning attached that he should not to surprise her if he didn’t want to feel how proficient she was with it.

Lucifer admitted that she had military training and her movements and words implied that she used them against people as well.

People fought in this world against each other. It shouldn’t be that much out of the ordinary. Not many admitted this, however, because they fear being regarded as a murderer or feral beast. But still, why transferring two God Eaters with that ability into his unit? Why so suddenly?

“ _He knows.”_ The thought came again, and this time more violent than being just a gut feeling. It felt like a heavy punch in his face but he kept it straight, not giving away the cold dread that he was feeling. If it was correct, he needed to counter immediately or else he would get in big trouble.

Lucifer smiled softly at him.

“ _There is a storm brewing under your nose.”_

Now, he could see the extent more clearly now.

And he didn’t like what he saw in the _slightest_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey to all the dear readers out there. Sorry for the late update and mistakes on this chapter. Have to work with a different program and had to rewrite it from scratch...due to technical difficulties. I will iron the mistakes out when those have been solved. 
> 
> For those who are interested, questions about the characters and stories are allowed. If someone has a question, I'm going to answer it as good as I can without it getting too spoiler. Comments are also appreciated.
> 
> But aside from that, thank you for being patient and still keep going with this train-wreck of a story.


	10. Schneefall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The devil can be nice, even to kids. Somehow, even if the devil doesn't understand how some morals work. 
> 
> aka 
> 
> Lucy gets bad ideas but decides not to be an amoral asshole about it for once. Still has some moral understanding problems.  
> Don't leave the insane one alone - (Obligatory no Aragami was harmed in the making of this episode)  
> That's not how you should deal with kids. That's not a good idea.

Maybe she overdid it.

Lindow hadn’t visited her yesterday evening, nor did she catch him this morning before the emergency call hit. He wasn’t there as they boarded the chopper and Sakuya said with a rather worried look on her face that he was occupied with something else. She couldn’t fathom what it was but she left it at that. It wasn’t like he could run away from her as fellow God Eater and her captain.

So she set her mind on the mission for the moment that had proven to be a nice distraction. It should have been just the run of the mill kind of thing. A patrol had run into trouble near the Tranquil Temple and they were tasked to retrieve them and cover their retreat. Nothing that they hadn’t done before and the Aragami that were sighted was nothing she hadn’t fought against.

It started pretty normal with a clean-up. Small critters, nothing much to worry about but then after the first wave another, more dangerous horde sprung out of the snow like weeds. And after that, things just took – as Kota put it nicely - a one-hundred eighty degree turn to the worst for all involved.

Lucifer peered around the corner of the wooden building as she crouched down behind the half-broken wall. They were occupied with another Aragami corpse, feasting on it as they tore it apart one piece after another. Carefully, she retreated.

This route was blocked, no chance getting through here without a fight but just in case, she brushed a little snow aside and installed a stun trap on the narrow path. In the worst case, it would buy them a little time. Then she silently retreated from her spot and back to the others that were waiting hidden inside what had been a temple in the past.

Kota who was standing guard at the entrance tensed as he something approaching but then lowered his weapon. He looked hopeful at her but she shook just her head.

“They got closer. The others might not make it in time.” She whispered slowly to him and then glanced at the people they were supposed to help. Two girls, one guy, all of them hardly older than her, maybe even younger. The guy pressed a bundle of bandages against one red-haired girl that was laying on the ground barely conscious. Even from here, she could see the round shaped wound at the side of her left side of her stomach, the edges of the injury charred almost black. It was impressive what God Eaters could survive. Another human would have bleed out and died in seconds.

A fate this girl would share if they didn’t get her to the exfil point fast. The other was hurled out in the corner, shivering and hugging herself, while watching. She had abandoned her God Arc in panic somewhere in the field and looked shaken, luckily it hadn’t come to a panic attack yet.

Lucifer crossed her arms before her chest, eyes falling on the wooden floor beneath the injured girl that had already soaked with blood. She closed her eyes and suppressed a curse. Kota’s gaze had followed hers for a moment.

“You still have a health pill, don’t you?” He asked her while after he watched their patient squirm in pain.

“Even so, I can’t give her one.” Lucifer’s eyes wandered to him as she spoke. “She already had her fill for today. Giving her another one would put her in danger. Fenrir gives out a limited number of those pills for a reason. You can overdose and die.”

Or mutate because of overstimulated Oracle Cells but she didn’t speak that out loud. The moral was already in the dumps. Kota’s lips pressed into a thin line and she could practically hear his brain working. He hadn’t lost hope that they could turn this situation without any causalities around; a sentiment that she didn’t share.

“The smell of blood will draw them to us.” A cold assessment of the situation but a true one. She could smell it, even though she was still standing at the entrance of the building. It was only a matter of time before the Aragami smelled it too and in their current hide-out was just one way to escape and that was the front door. It would turn into a deathtrap.

Kota was tense but he tried to relax. "Hey, are there news from Sakuya and the others?” He still sounded hopeful.

“Alisa is occupied with the Kongou in the lower parts. I don’t know what exactly Sakuya and Soma fight. It’s a high-grade Aragami however, so it might take a while. But as far as things stand, all of them are alive.”

The only silver lining in this mess. She was confident that they could deal with each of their targets but it would take time to regroup. Time that they didn’t have. Her brain worked, trying the most suitable solution to their problem. She was already roughed up by two Kongous they came across earlier and it had depleted her health pills. Another thing was her lack of stamina; Her body wouldn't be able to take much more abuse. Kota was relatively fine as she took the role of the frontline fighter to keep the Aragami off his hide but his bullet resources might have been drained. Aside from their patient, one was certainly not able to fight or take care of the wounded one and the guy looked like he had been dragged through hell and back.

Cruel as it might sound, they might have to leave the injured girl behind to save the other two. The smell of her blood might be enough to distract the Aragami closing in on their position, so the rest coul reach the exfil point. The only problem was, that everyone in here ,aside from herself, would refuse to move and be rather horrified at the idea. Clearly the all wanted to die for a half-dead girl. She would probably let them if they wished so - with the exception of Kota. Lindow had ordered her to keep him safe and she wasn’t above of knocking him out or tie him up to drag him out of here.

  
Still, it would get her in trouble if she did that and mission objective was to keep the alive. And she couldn't help the rest if they refused to move.

Morals were a fickle thing to deal with. Lucifer clicked her tongue.

In that case, they were left only with one other option.

“The only chance we have is attempting a breakout.”

“Like..taking the bull by the horns?” Kota asked with a frown and she nodded.

“That’s the idea of it. Before the enemy reaches us and completely has us with the back to the wall, we should charge through the less dangerous route. The only thing we need to do is getting the others to move.” She rummaged through the small bag on her hip and pulled out a roll of bandages and a small syringe. The last ones she had but if she was careful enough, she wouldn't need them. If it didn't work out, she could always run.

“Help him to warp her the injury up and inform them that we are moving. He should take her for the time being and if it gets too much for him, give him the syringe. It will numb the pain for a bit.” Lucifer continued and pressed it into his hand. “I will wait outside.”

The smell of human blood was almost too much for her to stand.

She did so. It didn’t take more than five minutes at most but her whole body was tense almost as if sensing the immediate danger just a couple of meters away. Kota lead the group, the guy had the girl on her back and the other was following them close behind. They came without a fuss.

So far, so good.

Lucifer opened her mouth to give them more directions but then she heard the sizzling of static moving through the air. And just a second later, Hibari made herself known through her communication device.

“ _Your trap to the east has been triggered! I still can’t see how many are moving into your direction but...there’s a Chi- You among them.”_

The Chi-You, the birdlike, tall pesky creature with hard armor and sharp talons. The Aragami with the ridiculous skill-set that included hand-to-hand combat, gliding and shooting laser orbs. Lucifer groaned. Had the pleasure once, not really keen on fighting it again.  Kota might be able to attack its head but against the hard armor of its arms and legs, his few bullets could do nothing. They couldn’t both tackle this nuisance since somebody had to get them to escort them to safety and if all of them stayed someone could get caught up in the crossfire. And there was still the girl that was bleeding out as she thought to do.

“Great.” She mumbled and then looked to Kota. “Alright, change of plans, I will stay here and protect your rear. You charge for the exfil point. Get in contact with the others and verify where they are.”

Kota was quick and had still enough traps and stun grenades left to stop Aragami from approaching them. Aside from that, he was good with that gun, so as long as they were just small critters, he could manage that alone.

“W-Wha?!...Are you crazy?! I-I...” She placed a hand on his shoulder.

  
“Short answer yes, long answer: I trust that you can do this. I have seen you fight often enough. A couple of critters will not stop you.” She pushed an ampule of bullets into his hand. Just in case. “You will defeat them and be the hero of the day.”

“But...what about you?”

Lucifer shook her head. “Just go. I can take care of myself. Haven’t survived seventeen years out there for nothing.”

“Y-Yeah but...”

“Just _go_. We meet up later.”

“You will kick its ass. Promise, right?”

Lucifer sighed. “Alright, if that puts you at ease. I promise.”

And that was when her clear memory stopped and was replaced by what seemed to be more like a recording than a memory.

She encountered the Chi-You and it immediately wanted to gut and kill her with the swipes of its sharp talons. Lucifer could smell blood, taste it in her mouth.

If she dragged the fight out for too long, her body wouldn’t make it. She felt it.

Even the 'burst state' that she had avoided until now wouldn't probably be enough, outside as presenting her on a silver platter if the effect went away. 

There was a third option. The shadows started to whisper and reminded her that she was alone.

Nobody would watch.

Nobody would witness it.

She could let go of the reins a little bit. The shadows whispered, purred, drew closer and she let them. They clawed into her flesh, cutting, tearing into her and she could feel every second of it. It lasted a second and an eternity. The world grew fast and then slowed as her mind grew empty with the sudden pain that was etched into her mind. A side-effect of the insanity she had nourished over years.

The pain and every other feeling just vanished, only an odd sensation prickling over her skin. Her body felt light, her senses sharpened. A delirious state and a dangerous one but the feeling of delicious adrenalin flooding her senses, making her skin tingle.

She smiled at her enemy. Poor thing would never know what hit it.

And then she charged and the sword hit against its arm with brutal, swift force. Without pain, her muscles wouldn't protest if she pushed them beyond their limit and towards their true capabilities. It was pushed back and she stalked after it.

She watched it shatter, _broke_ it with a delighted smile on her face.

The snow grew black under her feet as she danced with it, free of restrictions or thoughts that burdened her.

It screeched, it screamed but she was relentless. It should give her a fight, a battle that gets her blood and adrenalin pumping. She goaded it, provoked it to give her more than just that. She was tempted to let go completely and utterly but it wasn’t needed. As soon as she entered 'burst state' as the black creature of her God Arc ripped its mask apart, her body climbed to new heights.

It wanted to run, she didn't let it, breaking it apart as it squirmed on the ground, clawing into the snow.

Then it stopped. Somewhere it stopped. She didn't know how long it lasted.

A small cloud formed before her mouth as Lucifer exhaled. The air was filled with the stench of the black blood, putrid and acid smelling. It was everything her senses took in.

The smell of blood.

Just slowly the rest of the world came back into view: The snowy mountains, the village with the broken, wooden buildings, the cold and the white snowflakes that danced around her.

Another cloud vanished in the air.

She tilted her head back, eyes half opened as she stared up to the gray sky. Her muscles ached and burnt,  her scars itched to the point where it pained her but she just stood there, trying to recollect in her thoughts what happened just a couple of minutes ago or why she was here.

A mission, she was on a mission here to exterminate and she did so. The black substance on her clothes, blade and face was prove enough of that as well as this silence that surrounded her. Aragami parts littered the snow, broken small pieces.

She let herself fall onto the stairs of the temple. The feeling of exhaustion moved through her gut, twisted it. She felt sick.

This burst state was one hell of a thing. They had warned her about using it carelessly with her weak body but she did anyway, and a couple of things more that pushed her to the limit. It was unwise, she knew that. It was dangerous and impulsive but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

For the first time since long, she had been truly alone in a fight and she enjoyed, reveled in every second of it. So much that she let go a little bit of the reins, just to feel the sweet adrenalin pumping through her body again. It had been so long since she felt it the last time and she had forgotten how liberating it was.

“ _We could go farther. This is just a taste. Just a drop in the ocean.”_ A shadow caressed the corners of her jaw with one of its long claws in an almost loving manner. _“Taste life, taste death. A beautiful taste. So free, so close, so far.”_

“No, its enough.” She mumbled back. It had to be enough. Her body as it was now wouldn’t keep up with it, she would probably break before she could fully let go and fight like she used to.

And there were still things to do.

Her face rolled to the side where the broken Aragami lay, golden and black particles that rose from its corpse slowly dissolving in the air. One massive arm dangled over a wooden fence, the other broken and halfway severed from its body. Even the mask-like structure that she suspected to be its face was only half there and the sharp winglike structures on its arm were littered everywhere.

She sighed.

Maybe she overdid it. A little bit.

Somehow this thought was slowly becoming a trend.

Lucifer slicked back her wet hair and rubbed her with one of her sleeves over her face, to get rid of the black substance sticking on it. The others would get a borderline heart-attack when they would see her like this, sickly looking and covered from head to toe in blood. She always looked like that when she let lose.

There had been reasons why people used to aim their guns at her in the past.

With a groan, she sat up and reached for her communication device that still hung from her ear.

“Hibari, how are the others doing?” She asked, trying to force the exhaustion out of her voice.

“ _Good...”_ There was a pause, she could practically hear the ‘but’ coming.

“Did they make it?” Lucifer had to abandon them in favor of covering their retreat. After what she had seen, there was still the possibility that something else appeared and slaughtered them while she was occupied.

“ _Yes, the exfil was successful and they are currently in medical care.”_

A sigh of relief tore through her body. The others were well – or at least alive – and the mission was a success. It could have gone worse.

“That’s good to hear.”

“ _Are you alright, Lucifer?”_ Hibari sounded somewhat unsure. _“...Your vitals went crazy for a moment.”_

“Just a little bit tired, that’s all. Weak body and ‘burst state’ don’t mix well.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. It wasn’t just only the ‘burst state’.

As the adrenalin slowly trickled out of her system, she noticed a stinging pain at her hip. She heaved herself up and looked at it.

“Great...” The wound was healing but it had been deep. One of the sharp talons of this stupid bird seemed to have caught her. Not that she could feel the pain once she entered a state with she only could describe as becoming drunk on adrenalin, pain and blood.

She forced herself into an upright position, using her weapon as crutch. Gently her fingertips trailed over the metal surface.

“You did well.” She murmured. A soft growl came back, echoing in her head. If she got back, she should pay a little extra for its maintenance and made give it a new blade and shield. The creature seemed pleased with the thoughts she had.

“ _...Lucifer?”_ Ah, Hibari again. _“Can you move?”_

She still had to go to the exfil point herself.

“Give me a second.” It would take more than that.

“ _The group is on the way towards your position.”_

“Tell them that it won’t be necessary.” Lucifer already heard their steps crunching the snow under their feet and sighed. Kota at the front, the other free following behind.

He came to an halt, taking the bloody mess in as he tried to breathe evenly. She frowned. There was no need to run. She saw his face pale a bit. It had to look like she just caused a massacre.

“Holy moly!” His loud exclamation made her cringe just slightly. “What happened here?!”

His gaze locked on her as he jogged in her direction. She hadn’t moved from the stairs.

“Are you alright? You look...” He stopped himself, cracking a rather unsure smile. “Dunno how to say that? Have you rolled your body in that stuff?” He picked a splinter of Aragami material out of her hair.

“Just say that I look like the thing dragged me through half the area.” Lucifer rolled her eyes and straightened her back. Her spine cracked a bit as she did that and a hiss escaped her. God, that made her feel old and she was supposed to be seventeen or eighteen. If that was even correct. It felt more like the doctors just looked at her, decided that it was her age-range and slapped the number on the document than basing it on...whatever they use to determine the age of a person.

He offered her a hand to help her up and she took it with a thankful nod. Sakuya walked towards her with long strides and the medic didn’t look pleased in the slightest.

“What you did was beyond reckless.”

Lucifer tried not to grimace or groan at these words. She knew she had forgotten something. There was a chain of command and she hadn't asked for permission to do all of that. No wonder, Vice-Captain Sakuya Tachibana was not pleased with her.

She decided to pour oil on troubled water and apologize without pointing out that it still worked out. “I apologize for ignoring...”

“You could have _**died**_.” The medic cut her off. “What were you thinking?

“ _What.”_ Even the shadows stopped whispering for a moment as the stupefied response crossed her mind. It was the only reaction that she had about that statement outside that she just blinked at her superior. Of course, she _could_ have died. _Everybody_ could have died today. That was the risk a soldier of their kind had to deal with daily.

“Yes, I knew of that risk?” She frowned, a little bit confused why the medic was mad at her for that. “But it was either that or risk the deaths of more people.” It was an easy equation. Hers against four other lives, provided that Kota could handle a couple of smaller-sized Aragami by himself.

“Still, reckless.” Alisa flicked her hair back and shook her head. “You should know better.”

Maybe it was the exhaustion but she could feel how frustration and anger surged sharply through her body at those words.

She started to chuckle although there was no humor in it.

“I should know better?” Her eyes narrowed at Alisa, a smile on her lips. Kota immediately sensed the danger and wanted to interrupt but she wouldn’t let him do that. He was a good empathetic young man, picking up the air around them quickly and just having the best in mind for others but this was already _days_ in the making.

But his attempt made her pause and reconsider just for a moment if this was wise.

Her muscles tensed.

To risk to sacrifice everything just for this? A minor disagreement of action?

Somewhere she thought of this situation as amusing. She could have abandoned the girl or let her bleed out for a safer decision for her but she didn’t. She could have; She probably would have if the situation had been different. Putting three lives at risk for one that already was half-dead wasn’t the right. It was heartless, it was calculated and they would hated her for it, but at least the chance that _someone_ was alive to hate her was higher.

But she decided against it and ordered a breakout to hurry one half-dead person to the medics and put everybody at risk. It was just pure luck with a sliver of skill that they survived.

Maybe that’s why she got the scolding. It made more sense to her.

“Alisa...” It sounded more tired than aggressive. Like a sighing at a stubborn child that wouldn’t listen. Then she shook her head. This was not worth the fight. “Nevermind.” Instead she directed her attention towards Sakuya.

“Either that or leaving the girl to bleed out and die. Should I let have let her?” It was an honest question but the medic seemed to be slightly taken aback as if she didn’t expected it. Then her eyes shone with sympathy. For what, she didn’t know.

“I know that you just had the best intention at heart but if you think the fight is too much for you, then there’s no shame to retreat to safety.” She told her and it left Lucifer just more confused than before.

But she decided not to push the issue.

* * *

The injuries weren’t deep but Lucifer still was forced to take a day off. Just in case. As she wanted to politely disagree with the doctor that had done her check-up last time, she found out how they weren’t above blackmail and threats to keep her away from the action. The choice was either take a day off or be benched for disobedience for a week.

Lucifer sighed. They meant well.

But it was still annoying. At least, she could invest this time in doing her investigations and planning ahead, so she found some sort of silver lining in this situation. With a sigh and a report in hand she walked to the mission corner and placed the file before Hibari.

The young woman stopped with her typing and looked up to her.

“The report for today. I didn’t catch Tsubaki, so I came here.” Lucifer answered the question written all over Hibari’s face.

“Ah yes. I will give it to her.” She paused, looking stern for a moment. “You gave me quite a scare today.”

“I apologize.” It sounded mechanic, even for Lucifer but she couldn’t say anything else. She still didn’t understand even she went over the situation again and it annoyed her a little.

Hibari wanted to retort something but was interrupted as she spotted someone behind her. Small, tiny footsteps reached her ears and she turned halfway to see who it was.

A girl that hardly reached her chest, with a black dress, jacket and white hat approached them. The child’s expression was an interesting one, full of determination and stubbornness. Almost like Alisa.

Still, it had nothing to do with her, so she stepped aside and let Hibari deal with this. Just as she turned around and wanted to quietly retreat, she heard the girl speak.

“Hey, you are a God Eater, aren’t you?” It sounded almost commanding and shortly after she felt a pair of eyes piercing her back.

“ _No, I had enough for today. I’m not going to deal with this. Whatever it is, it is none of my business.”_ Lucifer told herself as she kept walking and tried to appear as if she hadn’t heard her. She had nothing against children but today, she had just this feeling that it wasn’t a good time to show that. Even the whispers surrounding her warned her not to get involved any more than necessary with people today.

Then she felt something holding her jacket. The woman stopped in her tracks, closed her eyes and took a deep, _deep_ breath.

“ _...Just why...”_

This day was already stressful and confusing enough.

“Hey, I’m talking to you!”

Lucifer glanced back at her and with another breath pulled herself together. The girl wanted to know something, she had to be patient.

“Yes? What can I help you with?”

“E-Erina, please don’t go around and do that.” Hibari seemed to be a little nervous. Yes, Lucifer didn’t have the reputation of being a people person but that didn’t mean she would be rough to a child.

Erina didn’t really care about the warning and looked at her.

“I’m searching for someone. He’s a God Eater too.”

“And who would that be, little lady?” She tried to keep her voice soft and friendly.

“Eric.” The name struck a cord somewhere in her memories but… “Eric der Vogelweid. My brother.”

Every muscle in her body tensed. She looked back at Hibari who gave her an expression that was between an apologetic smile and a cry for help.

Somewhere in the back of her mind a shadowy figure sing-sanged the typical _‘We told you so.’_ that she tried to ignore in favor for thinking what to say to the girl right now.

“I don’t know if you weren’t told but...He was killed in action.” No sugarcoating, just the harsh truth. She wouldn’t lie to a child about such a dire matter, especially if they were family.

“That’s a lie! You are just saying what everybody else says! Tell me...”

“I saw him die, little one.” She interrupted her, causing her eyes going wide as well as Hibari’s. And the surroundings got oddly quiet. Erina had troubles forming a sentence at first, just staring, trembling, shivering in shock. Lucifer’s expression softened. It was cruel to say that, even if it was the truth.

“Then why didn’t you save him!” It was a shout, an emotional outburst and she felt Erina’s little fists hitting her stomach in rage, disbelief and desperation. “You lie! He is...He is…! He promised me!”

Her voice broke, a sob came instead of a word. Lucifer just let her even if her healing injury stung.

“ _Poor child.”_ A shadow sitting on her shoulder whispered. “ _In denial. In shock. Cruel. We saw him die, saw his blood, his corpse..._ ”

Lucifer caught her hands, trying to be as careful as possible with her strength. Then she knelt down to be on her eye-level. She rubbed softly over her knuckles.

“I couldn’t save him.” She looked her straight into her eyes. “I was there but I couldn’t save him.”

A shadow stood beside her, tall like a human, like a phantom long forgotten that touched her shoulder.

“ _People search for scapegoats because it gives them the illusion of control. Some people can’t deal with the idea that life doesn’t play fair. There always needs to be a reason and justification for death.”_ It whispered in her ear.

“...It’s your right to blame me. I failed you and him.” Lucifer said as she let her go. Giving her something real to blame, something that she could blame, some semblance of control. So many wished her dead, one more won’t hurt.

The girl looked at her, anger in her wet, tear stained eyes and then she turned around and ran away.

“L-Lucifer, is everything…?” Hibari tried and the other woman sighed.

“I’m fine.” Nothing unusual. “I’m going back to my room to get some rest.”

* * *

 

However, rest didn’t come quick as she had another visitor.

“Well, someone doesn’t look happy about being the hero of the day.” He was the last person she wanted to see today after this mess but she couldn’t throw the door in his face.

“Mr. Amamiya. I didn’t expect you to come again.”

Lindow rubbed his neck. “Sorry about yesterday. Had a couple of things to deal with and was then shipped out first thing in the morning to deal with a special case of Aragami.”

Ah,the ‘secret’ missions. There was a rumor about it as Lindow had the tendency to just disappear for a time. Sakuya told her that it were simple retcon missions for the director but her worried gaze told her that it was more than just ‘simple’.

“You heard?”

“I did. I know I’m bad with this heart-to-heart things but you know...But I’m the leader and...”

“It’s your job. I know.” With a sigh, she leaned against the door frame and then moved aside. “Come in. That’s hardly a talk we should have in the hallway.”

“Sure.” Halfway in the door, he stopped and looked at the table. A smirk came on his lips. He nodded at the beer can that was on the table, cold and unopened at its usual place and close besides it an ashtray and a lighter. “Seems like you did expect me.”

“I’m a creature of habit. You arrive always at the same time.” Lucifer waved it off.

“Now I feel a little bit guilty that I didn’t pay you a visit yesterday.”

“Don’t fret it.” Slowly she sat down on the couch and hissed as her wounded side began to sting at the movement.

“Heard you took a nasty hit.”

“It’s a flesh wound. It just stings and is generally annoying. Could be worse.”

He frowned as he took his place as well. “How worse?”

“Well, a little bit to the side and deeper and I would lack half my intestines.” She gave him a shrug and he grimaced slightly in sympathy.

“The talons of a Chi-You are nasty, sharp things.” He nodded to himself. “Almost got disemboweled myself as I still was a rook and spent a week in the sickbay for it. That said...” Her leader looked her over again. “For fighting two Kongous and a Chi-You, you still seem okay.”

“I’m fine. Or at least as fine as someone like me can be.”

“Yeah...about that...” Lindow rubbed his neck again and then looked away for a second. “I...have read the report of your check-up. I mean, I knew you weren’t the healthiest of the bunch because of your lacking stamina and all but...” He frowned and paused, maybe searching for the right words. “From what I understood, your body’s a mess.”

“That it is but the doctor assured me that I’m getting better.” It was a very pitiful attempt to downplay the situation from her side.

“So you know.” He seemed surprised and she didn't understand. It was her body. She could feel if her body wasn't well.

“Of course I do.”

“And still you tackled a Chi-You alone.”

Lucifer suddenly dreaded the direction this conversation took.

“Like I already said, I thought it was the best course of action and I apologize that I endangered the rest for it but I won’t apologize fighting it to cover their retreat.”

He watched her, his eyes unusually piercing and his gaze stern.

“I never took you for one to play the hero.”

And there she gritted her teeth as she heard that word again.

“Don’t call me a hero for doing what needed to be done.” Her voice was sharp.

“I can still call you ‘brave’ then. The situation wasn’t easy and you did well for that. Sakuya can be a little harsh, I know, but that comes with her main job. Kota had nothing but good words about you…” He trailed off. There had to be a reason that he was here, after this disaster.

“So... Am I facing disciplinary action for what I did?” She inquired instead and not wanting to hear what others thought about her.

“Well, you _didn’t_ inform you direct superior about it and you could have died because of it...So normally you would. _If_   we had told Tsubaki.”

“You didn’t?” Lucifer was honest to god surprised. What she did was not minor case of disobedience, it was outright ignoring the chain of command.

“You didn’t ignore orders and you followed the rules.” He paused, looked at her and then sighed. “Alright, the one rule with ‘If you can’t deal with it – run’ is debatable but I wouldn’t have done anything differently. That aside, nobody blames you for doing what you did, so I decided that it won’t be necessary. A simple warning is enough: Don't. overestimate. yourself.”

“I don’t really know if I should be alright with that.”

“Do you want to be in solitary confinement or deal with all the paperwork Tsubaki has for two days?”

A shiver climbed up her spine. “...Point taken.”

“Good. With that out of the way, I have decided to give you something.”

Her left eyebrow rose slightly and she crossed her arms before her chest. That was odd. She expected another interrogation or him trying to interrogate her for what she did and why she did it. Instead, a small stack of folded notes landed in front of her nose. She looked at it and then at him again.

“May I ask what this is?”

“Something that you shouldn’t parade around. That’s for sure.” Lindow folded his hands together and bowed forward. “I might need your help with something.”

Again her gaze flickered between him and the pieces of papers before she hesitantly reached out for it. Her curiosity won out although she suspected it to be a trap. She took one and unfolded it.

“ _Alisa Ilinichina Amiella”_ stood there in bold letters and after giving it a short look, she noticed that it was a medical report of sorts.

“I’m correct...with the assumption that these documents are classified?” Or in other words, something that shouldn’t be in her hands right now.

“Why would you give me that?” She wasn’t sure. Maybe it was still a trap, a fake document for whatever reason. While she admitted not being interested in the dealings of the director, it wouldn’t have been enough to convince him to trust her. There was no reason for him to do that just because she was honest with him – about the most part.

Lindow shrugged his shoulders.

“Just a gut feeling.”

Lucifer starred at him, mouth slightly open. There was this damned smirk on his face.

Then she just started to chuckle at him.

Even though, she couldn’t really stand his presence for the most part, there was something about him that she could hardly deny that it was magnetic. Maybe it was his underlining wit, or the natural charisma that made her so wary but she had to admit, if she considered someone her equal it would be him.

“ _Just a gut feeling...Yes, I deserved that one.”_ Lucifer thought while combing through her hair.

But that didn’t mean she would be caught that easily.

With one hand she took a black pawn that was laying besides the chess board.

“Fine then. Amuse me with a game and I will consider helping you.”

“Playing not easy to get, huh?” Lindow didn’t seem to be surprised.

“I just give you a fair chance and time to think about it carefully. A deal with a devil can backfire, you know.” It was a fair deal. If she noticed that he was lying or tried to use her for his game. She would bite back and she would bite back **_hard_**.

“Ha, you aren’t so bad as you give yourself.” He took out a cigarette.

“Oh? How did you come to that conclusion?”

“You value human life and you are nice to kids. You can’t be that bad of a person, maybe a little bit rough on the edges.”

Lucifer shook her head at him but stayed quiet. He had seen her, watched her.

She inhaled the smoke, still tasted the ash on her tongue.

“ _Just how desperate are you?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no life and no need for sleep apparently. The plot get's rollin. Finally. God F*** finally. 
> 
> Just to clear something up before the clichee-storm rolls in: Lucy has no supernatural powers. The shadows and all that is just all in her head. The special modus is essentially forcing her body into a fight and flight situation and triggering an adrenalin rush. It heightens her strength, her senses and gives her a boost of energy but most importantly she doesn't feel pain in that mode. This allows her to push every muscle in her body above its limit but that will damage her (break some fingers, rip some tendons and all that, bleed out because she doesn't notice that she injured etc.) and thus is dangerous to use. Not that it ever stopped her because she is an addict for life-and-death situations and enjoys the feeling of the rush.


	11. Böse Zungen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things never stay silent for long. Doubts, desperation, voices of betrayal or a past best be forgotten.  
> The question is if those words should be trusted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aside from that: Wow, 305 Hits and 25 Kudos. xD You guys are too kind.
> 
> Never thought that a story not outright set on romance and that chews through the whole base story again would get some attention. Thank you for reading, I hope you will continue to enjoy it.

In the end, she considered that one free day a blessing in disguise as she worked through the folded papers that Lindow had given her and forgot that she had to got to sleep at some point. Not that she could, not with what she had indulged in today. The rush, the satisfaction as short as it was, always came at a price. Either through pain, night terrors or the whispers growing vicious and waited on a moment of weakness to pounce her, she would pay. Every time.

Lucifer rubbed her eyes, eyelids burning and feeling heavy from exhaustion.

Lindow had paused their game and told her to get some sleep because she looked like she could need it. He probably wouldn’t be pleased to know that she wouldn’t but she didn't care.

Her attention went back to her desk. It’s surface was covered by paper as her eyes flickered over them to absorb every piece of information that they presented her. The thrill of having another piece of the puzzle kept the voices at bay, and with it her need of sleep.

_The director, the Aegis Project, Lindow’s involvement, Alisa’s circumstances, her doctor, Fenrir…_

The whispers grew louder with each passing thought, agitated, excited and hungry. She bit on her thumb and increased the pressure until she could feel how her teeth broke her skin. The taste of copper filled her mouth as her mind started to process everything she had learned.

“ _The parents killed and devoured by an Aragami in front of her eyes; her mind completely broke down...the use of medicament to keep her from self-harm, yet her near catatonic state persisted...”_

It mentioned that the mere mentioning of her parents or something that resembled the Aragami that slaughtered them, triggered a violent reaction from her. Not necessarily against the nurses or doctors, but against herself. She started to panic, in some extreme cases even clawed herself and apologized without end. The only remedy for this was forcing sedatives on her to knock her out.

“Survivor guilt.” Lucifer hummed to herself. “What a nasty thing to have.”

Some people thrived on the death of another important individual of their life, seeking to make their life mean something in return or going down on a path of revenge, poorly disguised as a noble cause. It depended on the person and matter of circumstances how people coped, if they could at all. It was troublesome nevertheless. A wounded mind was a difficult and delicate thing to handle, especially when the signs of recovery were still so young as in Alisa’s case. If there was no other way than putting her into the God Eater division, they could have put her into another unit that _wasn’t_ directly on the frontline to slowly gauge her reaction to stress and get her used to it.

This would have been a more responsible way to deal with this but she wouldn't be here either if that was the case.

Lucifer wrinkled her nose.

It smelled like sabotage but why would someone want to see the 1st Unit fail? Or rather why would the director willingly put two mentally and in her case also physically damaged people there?

Every God Eater was valuable, every God Arc unique. It would take days, weeks or even months to replace a good God Eater and he needed them to finish the Aegis Project. Without God Eaters there was no defense for Aegis Island and no influx of new, rare cores, especially if he targeted the Vanguard Unit. It was counter-productive for the director’s plans on every level.

“ _He needs loyal soldiers. If he says jump, they will ask how high. They are pawns to be discarded to move the plan forward. Someone who cares and thinks for themselves are just a hindrance.”_ The husky voice at her ear moved to her other, cold hands softly traveled over her spine and made her shiver. _“Discard and replace. Common practice to solidify one’s power, isn’t it? We have done it too.”_

Still, it was only a good tactic if there were enough ressoucres to replace the losses quickly. The majority of the unit were made out of veterans and killing them all off would be a huge set back. The director wasn’t so strategically inept to just do that.

“I need to try another angle.” Lucifer tipped against her chin as she mumbled to herself.

One that made more sense. With her and Alisa there were two in the unit that were ‘loyal’ to some degree to the director but for what purpose if it wasn’t to sabotage the whole unit from the get-go? Since the Aegis Project was the director’s life work, she doubted that he himself would do that and she knew that Fenrir supported the project. However, since the Far Eastern Branch was so isolated, they had more...’liberties’ than others as far as she heard. That’s why they handled some disciplinary actions rather lax around here. On the other hand, she also doubted that the HQ would just let the branch do what it wanted without supervision. An uncontrolled branch could go rouge if not reined in from time to time.

She looked at the chessboard and started to nibble on her thumb again.

So far off, the branch would have sufficient time to prepare and hide plans before some supervisor would hit the shore and even if they tried to do it secretly, as soon as an unannounced vehicle was detected in their vicinity, their element of surprise would be gone.

“Unless...”

“ _We have a shadow in here somewhere.”_ A shadow sitting before her finished with a crackling, eerily high-pitched laughter. It’s flaming white eyes starred at her.

“A spy...?”

It would be too obvious if the HQ sent sudden reinforcements in the last couple of years. The director would have noticed. Then maybe they hired someone from the other God Eaters inside the branch. If it was just a run of the mill God Eater or a rookie, she believed that the director would have just transferred them out or got them killed on mission. Logically, they needed someone whose demise or transfer would raise eyebrows and that was just the case with people who were veterans or deemed irreplaceable by their comrades.

Lucifer picked up a black priest.

“A medic, perhaps?” - This would include God Eaters as well as doctors. Both were lifelines for other God Eaters but personal was easily replaced, God Eater not so much. She placed the figure back down and went to the left knight. It was a possibility to consider.

A normal God Eater would not raise that much suspicion and they were costly to create, however, the director wasn’t above to bend the rules to create a replacement. She was the best example for it. And it was evident with Alisa’s recruitment that he had still some good contacts to other branches, so the exchange of God Eaters was not that costly for him. They were wild cards, in itself but she didn't think that one of her fellow rookies was a spy. Alisa, haughty and self-convinced as she was, was very easy to read and Kota was too honest and careless sometimes.

The fingertip moved to the king.

Another possibility was the Unit Leaders. They couldn’t be easily replaced, either for the fact that they were needed as teachers or were vital for the group’s moral, actions and plans. That narrowed the selection to only a handful of people and with one glaring main suspect.

The corners of Lucifer’s mouth trembled at the thought.

“He has talent for the job...but it’s way too obvious...” She mumbled to herself. He was a fighter and a classical leader with a mischievous streak but that wasn’t enough. He had been suspicious of her but which good leader wouldn’t be? There had been nothing to her name and she was strange, no doubt about that. His questions didn’t came completely out of nowhere and just his dislike of the director wasn’t enough to prove that he collaborated with someone else.

Someone like Lindow wouldn’t spy or sabotage something tried to _save_ people.

“ _What if it’s blackmail?”_ The shadow whispered. A possibility. It was easy to see where his weakpoints were, considering his care for his fellow comrades but those weren't easy targets. If a couple of _veterans_ suddenly died, it would definitely raise some eyebrows.

Still, she was reluctant to consider this possibility.

The shadow in front of her chuckled. _“Don’t ignore what is before us.”_

“He isn’t a spy.” The sentence was vehement, stubborn, almost as if she wanted to convince herself. It wouldn’t make strategical sense. That would be suicide for the whole mission. Lindow was well-liked and hard to get rid off but he didn’t have the makings or training of a spy.

“ _Not if he is better than we think.”_

Why was a part of her mind trying to justify that he wasn’t a spy?

“ _Don’t get too involved.”_ A warning. The truth. People like him were dangerous for this reason. They pulled humans in with their act and their natural charisma. Since she didn't completely discard her ability to empathize to some degree, she wasn't immune to this pull either.

If he was a spy, she gave him information willingly. Granted, it was ammunition against the director which was not so bad for her but that didn't mean that it couldn't fall back on her. If this was true, he wanted information out of her for his employers, all in disguise of worry and the excuse that it was his job.

To turn her against the director, turn the pawn and pet against its master.

She chuckled to herself.

“Sly bastard.” Lucifer started to smile as she stared at the black king in her palm. There was a certain fondness in her voice instead of being mad or disappointed. _She_ was careless to not consider it beforehand while he played the game and lured pieces and bits of information out of her. It was admirable. Slightly infuriating, but admirable.

Maybe she would help him, after all, just for that. She picked up another sheet of paper, letting her eyes trail lazily over it. If this was the case, his desperation was understandable after she railed him up a little bit.

Oh, this was going more amusing than she first thought.

“Maybe...I will help him...Just maybe. He seems interesting enough to - ...” The woman halted herself, her gaze moving over the passage she was half-way reading again just to make sure that she didn’t miss a detail. The page detailed Alisa's treatment and there was something that it made her blood run cold. A list of different meds but her eyes were glued to one word:

_Hypnotherapy._

Something inside of her began to squirm as she looked at it; An old scar itching in her mind, a claw scratching from the inside of her skull. For a moment, she lost the ability to breathe, her lungs screaming for air as her mind went down where it didn’t belong. The whispers were there again, in full force and loud.

Immediately, and almost as if in panic, her mind tried to rationalize the choice of treatment to counter the wave of sudden horror that threatened to swallow her whole but it was already too late.

“ _But we know that what can heal, can also be used for other...purposes.”_ Her muscles tensed. For once there was a voice she recognized. Lighthearted like a child that got a new toy to play with, he whispered into her left ear. She could see his toothy grin out of the corner of her eyes as her body was frozen in position.

“ _A broken mind can be easily reformed._ _Especially for the needs of other people._ _”_ Cold fingertips trailed softly over her chin. “ _People search for a scapegoat because it gives them the illusion of control.”_ A chuckle to her right. _“So give them one if you want to control them in return.”_ She felt the hand wander over her face, piercing gray eyes studying her like he had caught an interesting insect. Her stomach twisted in disgust and she felt the bile rising in her throat. _“We know that thought well, don’t we?”_

He laughed. It run in her ears, in her hand.

“They...wouldn’t...” Lucifer mumbled, her eyebrows knitted together, trying to regain a semblance of control that threatened to slip out of her grasp. She knew it well and she had done it more times she could count to others but never to a child.

_**Never**_ to a child.

The thought filled her with disgust.

She gritted her teeth, baring them like a snarling animal. Alisa had been so young as her parents were killed. Who knew long this had been unofficially going on? How long did they mold her to be a tool?

“ _Pawns are at their best when they are obedient when they do what they are told without question. Especially when they are trained young."  
_

It made so much more sense, so much horrific sense in her mind and in context of the director’s actions. He needed pawns to dispose off if he saw the need to for whatever reason. Nothing was better to get rid off than a child that was already made obedient and was eager to sacrifice themselves for a purpose they never knew or grasped with their broken minds.

A low guttural growl escaped Lucifer.

Her scars began to itch, this time almost to an almost unbearable degree and she rolled her shoulders in a vain attempt to make it stop. Her control faltered for a moment as she saw them again. A picture of empty eyes on small bodies flashed through her mind that never had the chance to experience some light in her lives. Beaten, broken, made obedient by someone who stole their ability to grow and thrive, for their own bloody gain. More vivid, more real as if she was forced to relive this moment again. The disgusting smell of rot, iron and blood was there too, enveloping her senses.

“ _Too late. There’s nothing to be done.”_ Her stomach twisted at the whispers next to her. Her hands sticky and warm with blood of her latest prey, curling up to fists.

She would _**break**_ him for this until he begged for the mercy of death. But she would not give it to him.

There would be no satisfaction by snapping his bones one by one and make this smug bastard scream for his dear life, for death, for her to stop. There was no way to correct was wronged, just to stop him from doing it to more. The child was burdened for life with a sin that they was forced upon them and it would never completely go away.

There was nothing to be done. His death wouldn't change it.

She knew and she couldn't stand it.

But she needed to calm down.

Lucifer placed the black king back onto the chess board and then flicked it over. Her other hand placed on her chest, where she felt the heated metal of the cross pressing against her naked skin. She suppressed the urge to clutch the item in her hand, whispering prayers to regain control. She had to wrestle these emotions down herself this time, even if it was just to prove herself that she still had it in her to do this.

To take a step back, to force herself to be patient, to assess the situation and react accordingly and not sabotage this whole thing because she couldn’t get her personal feelings in order.

The woman clasped her hands together, the feeling of tiredness slowly sweeping into her muscles and bones after her fingertips had clawed themselves into the backs of her hand, deep enough to draw blood. They trembled from the strain that her mind was put through as she forced all these pictures, memories and feelings down back into the dark corner of her mind.

They were not needed for rational explanation, or way to handle this. There was not enough proof and she wasn’t going to just believe a piece of paper handed to her by a ‘maybe’ spy.

Lucifer closed her eyes, tired, exhausted but knowing that there would be no sleep for her tonight.

She let out a sigh as she titled her head back and looked at the ceiling.

At least, she could use to time to work and prepare for tomorrow. She needed to be careful now.

 

* * *

 

Lindow frowned. “One, two, three...” He counted as he went over the people sitting on the table, then looked around, finding Soma sitting somewhere near their usual one, far enough to not be needlessly associated with them, still close enough to be in earshot.

“Four...” He paused again, eyes searching for the last person missing.

Then his frown deepened as he placed his hands on his hips. “Call me crazy but I have the feeling, we are one God Eater short. Or I really don’t know how to count.”

“Well, you _do_ kinda mess up when you list the rules sometimes, so...” Kota pointed out as he crossed his arms behind his head and leaned back onto the chair. Then he gave a helpless shrug and an almost impish smile at how Lindow quirked his left eyebrow.

“That was just that one time.” He admitted but couldn’t help to smirk himself as he crossed his arms before his chest.

“It happens all the time. Aside from sounding like a broken record.” Soma commented dryly from behind him, loud enough for the rest to hear. Lindow pulled a face as Sakuya and Kota tried to suppress a laugh. He could still hear them snicker, however. Alisa closed her eyes and just shook her head.

As their fit died down, Sakuya looked at him and sighed. “She is probably still resting. The Chi-You really did a number on her yesterday.”

“Yeah, have paid her a visit.” Lindow rolled the unlit cigarette towards the other corner of his mouth. His fingers were itching for the lighter but he knew better than smoking in Sakuya’s presence in the cafeteria, so he kept them under control. That seemed to caught Kota’s attention.

“And?” He asked, looking a tad worried. “Is she alright?”

“Well...She’s still her stoic, expressionless self. So it couldn’t have been that bad.”

“The Chi-You almost gutted her.” Alisa threw in after having been silent for most of their meeting. “You probably already know what happened. She should punish her for her recklessness.”

“She got punished for it.” Lindow retorted, rubbing the back of his neck.

For all what Lucifer was, she wasn’t ‘unnecessarily’ reckless in his book, at least not in the sense of being ‘heroically brain-dead’. She was always very controlled and precise with what she was going to do and he believed that she was _very_ aware of the ugly situation that she had found herself in. To be honest, he had been pleasantly surprised that she went out of her way to save someone after he had seen how brutally pragmatic she could be. Not, that he could say it to the rest out loud.

It wouldn’t make a good picture and he wasn’t going to sabotage the reputation boost she got for it. People talked a little bit more fondly now about her after knowing that she was willing to throw her life into the wager to save another. The meeting with Eric’s little sister probably helped too, although she publicly admitted that she was at fault for his death. The scene just gave off a weird kind of heartwarming that her actions and gestures towards the girl were incredibly gentle for someone who was infamous for being coldhearted.

“Believe me, being benched for a day and almost being gutted is enough.” He finished with a shrug. “She will probably feel that the rest of the week.”

Kota grimaced slightly in sympathy. Granted, it sounded worse as it actually was for a new God Eater who hadn’t seen the extend of what Oracle Cells could repair. It was just a moderate injury by all standards. He had seen people impaled by Aragami stingers, talons or whatever sharp thing Aragami used and those people walked around after a week of recovery as if nothing had happened. The only really serious things to consider were the size and location of the wound, the blood loss and if they have overdosed on health pills or not beforehand.

“She’s fine.” Lindow told him with a smirk to ease him a little bit. The youngster’s eyes alternated between him and something else.

“I wouldn’t be that sure...” He muttered under his breath and pointed at something he was probably previously looking at. “She doesn’t look alright.”

Lindow glanced to the side, as was everybody else. Speaking of the devil, she walked in, slightly hunched but still in her usual over-sized dress that was neatly bottomed up to her throat, combed hair and looked not disheveled at all. However, she looked tired, pale and the rings under her eyes were unusually dark.

Someone didn’t have a pleasant night.

Then her back straightened, eyes narrowed as they glanced over the crowd and spotted them. In long, striding steps she walked over.

“Good morning.” She greeted, her voice slightly raspy. A thing she noted as well as she cleared her throat immediately afterwards. Lindow crooked an eyebrow at her.

“You look like you went through your beer rations in one go instead of sleeping.” Or hung over. He didn’t take her for someone who drank alcoholic beverages, or too much of it but the second that she squinted her eyes at him as if she had trouble to adjust them to the light and how she rubbed her forehead with a sigh, somehow gave off the feeling that she was.

Lucifer clicked her tongue, slightly annoyed. “I thought you knew that I don’t drink. Don’t worry, your beer is safe.”

“Thank god.” Lindow’s frown deepened and his voice sounded unenthusiastic because he wasn’t worried about that.

“ _His_ beer?” Sakuya questioned with such a faked surprised tone and smile that he could feel a shiver done his spine. He forgot about that she was present and that he wasn’t supposed to raid other people’s fridges.

“He was kind enough to teach me to play chess in the evening. I pay him with beer.” Lucifer clarified.

“Chess.” Sakuya repeated, looking at him again. The suspicious looks by everyone on the table and the one sitting a little bit apart from them piercing into him and gave him to understand that they didn’t buy it one bit. It was the truth, though. Granted, he was not the best and darts or a card game was more his thing but he could play it.

“He doesn’t seem the type, does he?” Lucifer spoke their collective thought out loud. “But he is not all that bad if he puts his mind to it.” She gave as short glance in his direction as she continued. “I’m almost feeling guilty that he tries to keep me entertained even though he probably doesn’t like it.” Her voice had this soft, calm and smooth undertone again that she used to pacify someone.

“I don’t know what sounds more weird...that Lindow plays chess or that you two do something together on occasion that isn’t work related.” Kota admitted after staying silent for a while.

She and her superior exchanged glances at that. True, they weren’t interacting much outside and if they did, it felt more like he was forcing the conversation upon her. When it came to professional business like god eating, they were more ‘friendly’ with each other on occasion but she was mostly silent. The sole picture of them having a friendly chat with each other seemed to be completely out of place for them.

Even if it was true. To some extend.

“I’m naturally ‘weird’ and strange to everybody here, so that shouldn’t come as much as a surprise.” Lucifer said after closing her eyes and rubbed her neck. “If you believe it or not doesn’t change the truth.” A sigh tore through her throat. “Now excuse me, I will get something to eat now.”

She departed from the group, not caring how gazes followed her as she dove and disappeared right into the crowd of other God Eaters.

“So...” Lindow started slowly as he watched her leave and turned back to the group. “Five, it is now...I guess?”

“Did you tell her of your legendary losing streak with your sister?” Sakuya asked, head balanced of one of her hands and she was giving him a rather smug smile.

“Might have missed that.” Which was also true. Lucifer didn’t seem to care and she didn’t ask him, so he never brought it up. He cleared his throat. Suddenly his phone buzzed and for once, he was glad that it interrupted something.

“ _Meet me at the usual time.”_

The message was from Lucifer herself. Shortly his eyes looked up and searched the people passing them by for her presence. His grip slightly intensified around the item as he got the feeling it wasn’t because of the injury that she looked so tired this morning.

“ _What do you know that I don’t?”_ He thought it would have been best to inform her about Alisa, if she hadn’t known already all about this.

“Is something wrong?”

Now Sakuya looked worried at him and he cursed at himself for a second before he replaced the frown with an easy-going smile.

“Nah, just another date.” Not a lie, not the truth either. He could see her frown deepen as he put the phone away. They know or suspected what he did on all those special missions lately. They weren’t stupid and they knew him too well, save for two. Alisa just rolled her eyes at him and Kota stared at him with awe.

“How do you get so many dates? You should hook me up with someone sometime.”

The quite innocent and , at the same, not-so-innocent demand of Kota had him chuckling. “Perhaps sometime. Dealing with the ladies is an art, you know.”

He hoped that Kota never had to deal with such a mess.

“Oh, I forgot that you know all about that.” The medic teased and he was in the mood to indulge her.

“You wound me. Of course I do.” He replied with a smirk that fell immediately after. “Well, time to get things on the road. I will meet you in an hour. Don’t be late, get your stuff together and so on and so forth.” He made a dismissive hand wave as he walked away, right out of the canteen and straight to the main hall.

Hibari was already here with her usual smile on her face as she greeted him.

“Ah, the director wants to see you after the today’s mission.” She informed him and he tried his hardest to continuing showing an expression that wasn’t outright annoyance.

“Right.”

“ _Great.”_ The sarcastic comment echoed through his mind and the uneasiness of the last couple of days grew again. The thought that Lucifer probably told his superior that she had gotten confidential documents from him reared its ugly head soon after. He shook his head, he hoped, _believed_ that she wouldn’t just sell him out like that.

He shuffled in his breast-pocket for a folded piece of paper and gave it to her.

“The unit composition for tomorrow and the day after that. Should be suffice if nothing bad happens. Dunno if I have something to do or not, so it might change.”

Normally, he could plan ahead for a week or leave it to Tsubaki but since he was constantly called away, he had no other choice to adjust in the moment to what happened. Lucky for him, nobody actually complained about the short notice emails they got about their daily patrol routes for the day. Planning too much forward in time was impossible anyways and with the suspicious Aragami movements it became the usual drill that many were left on standby duty and had to jump when they were called.

Hibari took it, looked over it for a second and nodded.

“Looks all in place. I will give it through.”

“Thanks.” He gave her a nod. “Sorry for being so late with it.”

“No worries. Lucifer already informed me that it would be later than usual.”

Lindow’s knitted his eyebrows together in surprise. “She did? When?”

“An hour or so ago.” Hibari looked at him, kind of worried. “I told her she might perhaps visit the medic. She looked very tired.”

“Yeah, saw her a couple of minutes ago. I will talk to her about it.”

He had to talk to her about a lot of things, actually. About Alisa, what she was going to do or what _he_ was going to do now. The nagging feeling that he dragged someone who had already enough on their plate into this mess was there again but he was confident that she could help if she was willing to.

But what would he do if she was not or played with him and then sold him out?

He closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. There was nothing much he could do. The HQ won’t help without sufficient evidence and even if, until they mobilized things could already be too late. He was practically left to fight on his own in this battle that wasn’t in his favor to begin with. He left some things with people he trusted in case something happened to him but that alone won’t keep them safe.

It only brought them into the danger zone but he couldn’t leave them clueless and let them run into their deaths either.

Suddenly his phone vibrated again. With a click of his tongue, he took it out.

“ _Be careful.”_

Lucifer again. He took the cigarette out of his mouth of a moment and noticed that he almost chewed through the filter. His gaze wandered shortly around while trying to be subtle to not worry Hibari. The girl was luckily occupied typing off the list he gave her and didn’t pay attention to him at that moment. Still, he could feel someone's gaze on him.

Then he looked up. She was standing at the railing above the mission corner, looking down at him. One hand had still her phone clutch in it while the other one was placed on the railing. Their gazes meet. There was no smirk, no cold smile, just her stern expression looking down at him as if she was scolding him for something he did.

She then motioned him to come up and he followed. Taking a couple of steps she had walked over to the top of the stairs to wait for him.

“About yesterday...” Lucifer started slowly as she let her phone slip into her trouser pockets. There was something on her mind that couldn’t wait until evening. She closed her eyes. “I’m thankful that you glossed over my disobedience.”

This wasn’t what this talk was about. He could feel it the way she looked, no, glared at him. They were out in the open, so she probably tried to secretly slip a message or two.

“Shouldn’t you get something to eat?” He asked instead and she chuckled as if this was a silly idea.

“The director called me in early. He asked me to tell you that you he wants to see you. I gave Hibari the message just in case I miss you before you prepare for the mission.” She explained, her voice lowering in volume.

Lindow frowned. “What for?”

“I’m a New-Type to parade around and show off. The calls happen here and there to hear my evaluation. He was proud of my accomplishments although he probably thinks that I disobeyed the chain of commanding. He questioned me about it.”

“How should he know? He wasn’t there to...”

“He watched and heard the records. Kota and Sakuya talked over comm about what I did, so it isn’t hard to put two and two together.” She interrupted him. “The group we saved yesterday...They were there to protect a new reconnaissance device that the scientist installed in the area. Unfortunately nobody of them made it out alive and it was destroyed by an Aragami shortly after we hit the area.”

It happened from time to time. After the latest reports of Aragami movements, they made an effort to install these things everywhere to better track down the kind and behavior of these creatures. A project that was heavily supported by the scientist who studied their behavior and got recordings without having to endanger themselves or a God Eater for it. And he had read the report about the mission and he knew all of that already.

“I visited the sickbay today to have my injury checked and I came across one of the group from yesterday.” Her eyes traveled away from him as she looked towards the railing again. She swallowed. “He thanked me and asked me to give his thanks to the rest of the group. He said that they were completely taken off guard and that the Aragami appeared almost out of nowhere after they properly installed and tested the device. An unlucky thing to happen, I guess. Maybe if we gotten there sooner...”

She paused and shook her head as she took a step back. “Point is, after thinking things over again, I still stand by the point that you shouldn’t be so lax with the punishment. I did disobey and I don’t want a special treatment just because I saved someone. The director might not be pleased about it.”

He put a hand on her shoulder. A gesture to comfort her. She didn’t shy away or slapped it away this time around. There were a lot of things he didn’t know about her. Maybe she was worried, maybe it was indoctrinated into her mind that disobedience was always followed by punishment. But she wouldn’t admit it in front of all the other people of the unit. He didn’t know why. Perhaps pride, perhaps denial or guilt.

“You did good.” He said. “I stand by your decision. I wouldn’t have done a thing different.”

Then after a couple of seconds, she shook him off. “I will go back to my room. I will see you tonight.”

“Yeah, get some rest.” Lindow agreed with a nod. “And don’t forget my beer.”

“Of course not. I always pay my debts.” She gave him a smile this time before she left towards the staircase. This smile she had, it was always there when the discussion went towards something more ambiguous and dangerous. He had seen it when he tread on territory that he shouldn’t be or if she was revealing that she set him check mate again. He watched her disappear again, this time with a darkening expression gracing his features.

He wasn’t sure if she really was so strung up over this whole affair now or not quite the way he imagined at first. His phone vibrated again and he had a suspicion what who it was.

“ _Reconsider my words carefully. They might keep you out of trouble.”_

His eyes narrowed. There was something she tired to tell him. She wouldn’t have started to talk with him out of nowhere or followed him for the matter. There was the question _why_ she told him now and not waited until evening where they were away from prying ears and eyes.

“Reconsider...huh?” He mumbled to himself, deep in thought as he stroked his chin. She always had a roundabout way to tell things, rarely being direct in some cases. There had been something that could be interesting for him if he reviewed it.

“Is that it?” For a moment, he closed his eyes and recalled what he learned from her.

The director had called for her.

That tidbit had been interesting and foreboding. The director knew what she did although neither Lindow nor Sakuya told Tsubaki or anyone else about it. He had told her that he watched the recordings of the mission but why would the high and mighty director be so interested in them? To know why she got injured? No, this man didn’t strike him as someone who particularly cared about that. He didn’t even care to send his own son into the fight and abandon him there

She also mentioned that some of the survivors were treated in the sickbay which might be interesting to hear from them what happened. Some reports were embellished for a reason but he trusted the 1 st  Unit to not do that when he talked to them. The thing with the device and the dead scientists was already common knowledge. It was an unlucky incident. He had been there before.

The device installed, everything works fine, everything was sunshine and rainbows until a horde of Aragami appeared out of nowhere and tore the whole operation apart. It occurred very rarely but if Oracle Cell activity in the air was high enough, it could lead to multiple Aragami ‘births’ in the area and lure other Aragami in the vicinity. He didn’t know the precise details how it exactly worked and it wasn’t really his job to know such things outside what kills and lures Aragami. That’s why they had sensors for it in the first place to notice Oracle Cell activity.

He furrowed his eyebrows at that.

_Normally_ , they would be informed and _normally_ they would send more than one team to assure that they could fight the coming onslaught. Granted, there was always a small chance that it happened _without_ anyone noticing since the technology could be faulty or not enough refined to exactly pinpoint the movements.

But he wasn’t going to simply dismiss it either. Not after Lucifer’s strange behavior just now. It could be a false alarm since she didn’t have the experience to know that such things just happened. Or he also could read too much into every word of her.

“Maybe I should go talk to a couple of people.” He muttered to himself as he crossed his arms before his chest. Better rule out the worst case by talking with Tsubaki who had the recordings and go over the reports again. For the matter, he already had the perfect excuse in place and Lucifer presented it to him on a silver platter. He needed to assess the circumstances to decide a suitable punishment.

For what exactly would she do that? What would she gain from risking a day in solidary confinement?

Then he exhaled, a ghost of a smile hinted on his lips.

“ _I see. Debts always get repaid, huh?”_

Maybe he should dare a leap and put her trust in her, just for this moment. There wasn't really anything else he could do.


	12. Spannung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tension is in the air, close to making long fostered ties snap.  
> A group ununited with two candidates of a broken legacy.  
> A devil that gnaws on its chains and is ready to bare fangs.  
> A fool that is forced to pass the torch.   
> The pawn is going to move and with it, disaster will strike. 
> 
> aka:
> 
> Hunter has problems. The whole group has problems.  
> Lucifer wants to throttle someone. Keep the director away from her for a moment.  
> Lindow can see that it is going nowhere, so he's ready to choose someone he trusts the most.

Hunter put his hands into the pants of his pocket, kicking a pebble in his path out of the way. A week had gone by and nothing came up. Dead leads, left and right and some gang members he beat up to relieve him of his frustrations in the middle. The days dragged on, pain-strikingly slow and at the same time too quickly.

If he didn’t find a lead some, something he could report, Vic would declare it as a trail gone cold and force his plans through with the others. He could argue that since the trail was cold, they had other things that needed their attention.

Hunter kicked another pebble, exposing his teeth and made some unlucky sap that was passing him by recoil in fear. He ignored it. Those Fenrir-following insects didn’t deserve his attention.

He felt that he was set up. He was all too aware that there was a huge disagreement between two parties inside their surviving group; the old guard and the young generation. Without a head that was respected by both, they would break apart or worse – fight each other.

For the survival of the group as a whole, it was suicide. With Vic as their impromptu leader, it was somewhat working but everybody could plainly see that his glory days had been behind him. The disfiguring injuries impaired his power to fight and that somewhat locked him in a permanent state of self-pity and fear. He was afraid of what this cursed city had in store for them although their goal was quite clear.

Their plan with the pushing the right buttons, create a gang war to eradicate two smaller parties and infiltrate the small void they have created, was working. They got resources, money, and information. Aggression was the key to get back into their former glory, not burying themselves and hope nobody would take note of them.

Hunter stopped in his tracks as his eyes met a gaze that was observing him cautiously. A burly, smaller female with a simple shit, dusty combat trousers, and boots. As she crossed her arms before her chest, she could see the muscles moving underneath her tanned skin. He could almost hear his spine cracking at the thought what would happen if he ever ended up between them.

A cigarette dangled loosely from her lips. Brown eyes looking at him with a look of obvious disapproval as she let it fall onto the floor and stomped it out with her left foot.

“…Hana.” He greeted her with a nod and stopped a couple of feet away from her. He was wary of her being here and he probably needed all the space he could salvage to escape. While he was confident in his skill, he was at a disadvantage when he hadn’t the element of surprise on his side. Hana, on the other hand, didn’t need something like that.

“What gives me the honor?” Hunter continued, taken his hands out of his pockets. A sign that he wasn’t going to try something, like reaching for a knife in his right pocket. It was more a sign of courtesy among them that they showed their hand where the other could see them.

Hana uncrossed her arms, letting them dangle loosely aside from body. It almost let out a sigh of relief. She wasn’t here to fight. He felt lucky that he knew that the woman would properly challenge someone instead of backstabbing when it came to their kin. Not that she needed it.

“Vic calls.” She retorted with a nod towards him. “Something came up.”

That wasn’t exactly good news.

“Has something happened?”

“Dunno.” Hana shrugged, rubbing her neck and tilting her head from side to side. He almost cringed at the slight cracking sound that the movement made. “But if he needs you and _me_ , then it’s probably a fight.”

He let out a sigh. “Well, could be worse…I guess.”

“Probably. At least, something to take off some tension.” She gave him a nod to follow her and he did although by still keeping his distance. At the first few steps, there was silence until she spoke again.

“Before ya ask, we didn’t find shit.”

“And there I thought, a gentle flower will bring me some good news. I had such high expectations…” He retorted with a mocking, overbearing tone and she snorted.

“Stuff it, _Hi-na-ta_.” She dragged the syllables of his names out and she knew without looking that he grimaced at hearing it. The woman glanced back at him. “That aside, I like the name. Dunno why the boss thought it suits me, but I like it and it is less silly than ‘Hunter’.”

“Yeah right.”

“Boss called you like that because you always smiled as bright as a sunflower, you know. No need to shit on the memory of our superior so soon after…“

“Yeah, of course, my smile is something that people love.” He cut in, almost hastily. He didn’t want to hear it.

“No one said that you had to go and sharpen your teeth, you know.” Hana pointed out. “I mean, yeah, scary effect and all that but you can’t actually use them to fight.”

“Oh, I can. Bit someone in the throat once.”

“That’s fucking unhygienic and the best way to catch somethin’.” The woman retorted. “But eh, I guess, it’s your life. Just like bashing heads with Vic. When the old guard gets wind of it, you will have a big bright sign on your head saying ‘ _Kill me’_.”

Hunter stiffened, stopped in his tracks for a second. “You are really good at building up my confidence, you know that?”

“Just saying how I see it. Told you often enough that you shouldn’t mess with politics. Shit’s going to get ya killed faster than any other thing.”

“It’s not my fault.” The defense was weak, he knew that. “Vic’s not in any way able to lead.”

“Vic’s one of the old guard and survived three turns and with the Boss and Sam absent…”

_“He’s the logical choice.”_ Hunter finished in his thoughts. He knew and at first, he supported the decision but he wasn’t blind to his state either. Well, it was a better choice than Sam in his book. He didn’t know what his Boss saw in this guy or why he was the right successor. Meek, obedient, just a level above of being an absolute doormat.

“Thank god, Sam wasn’t the one who made it.” He voiced his opinion out loud. “Being the chosen successor aside, I doubt I could just follow his commands like that.”

Hana hummed. “Yeah, how many times did you try to kill him? Five? I know you weren’t exactly happy that he got your position but I thought you will respect the Boss’ decision.”

Hunter growled under his breath. “He was a weakling and that made him dangerous to all of us. Not unlike Vic.”

“Told you before…Be careful what you say.” Hana warned him again. “I might give not a shit about gang politics and the chronic backstabbing order you people have but that doesn’t mean that I like what you are doing.”

“Be honest, do you like being on standby all the time?”

“No, I do-…”

“And Vic wants to do that for months. Hiding and waiting that some miracle comes around. We both know, no, we _all_ know that’s a disaster waiting to happen.”

Hana crossed her arms before her. A clear sign that she was taking his words into consideration.

“Remember the last time Vic ordered something like that? It was a mess. If Boss hadn’t overruled him and ordered a sortie in that very moment, we all would have gotten killed.”

The memory was still vivid. A hopeless situation. Outnumbered, outgunned and the enemy drove them back at each turn. Months of stress had piled up, people got sick, injured, died. Usual for them, the thought of death didn’t frighten them or him. It was the realization that the whole group was finished if they died that unnerved him.

Nobody to remember, nobody, to carry on their cause, dying a complete meaningless death.

He could see it happen _again_.

The boss’ sacrifice would have been for nothing if that happened. The death of so many, meaningless by the fear of one paranoid old man that couldn’t see what would happen if they didn’t move on quickly and regained their numbers.

Hana was watching him.

_“Careful.”_ He thought to himself. _“She might be one of his supporters.”_

“I know.” She said with a drawn-out sigh.

_“Not if I get her to see my way first.”_ The thought resonated in his head and he felt uncomfortable. Yes, he didn’t like how Vic handled things, yes, he thought it was a big mistake but Vic still listened to him. Somewhat, somehow but he wasn’t stupid.

He was part of the younger generation, the new guard and the one who held one of the highest positions amongst the bodyguards of the leader before this disaster struck. People respected him, regarded him as a candidate. He was supposed to be the prime candidate before this Sam just waltzed in and stole the position from him.

The people had not forgotten this and Vic’s appointment was not unanimous.

People voted for him too.

And everybody knew he was one of the strongest contenders.

Vic wasn’t stupid either - wallowing in self-pity perhaps - but not stupid.

Hunter had seen him operate before, calculated, cold, murderous and not above killing kin. That’s why he held back and tried to keep his distaste for him at a minimum. Vic might be weak now but he was still cunning and aware enough to just discard him if he saw him as a threat.

Normally, he had no problem with that kind of threat and normally, he wouldn’t go against Vic, of all people.

The memory and the fear reared its ugly head again.

_“Who will stop him if I die?”_ Nobody would man up and go against him. Nobody would dare.

He couldn’t die. Not with what their leader entrusted to him, not with all the sacrifices on their backs that demanded that had made their survival mean _something_. If Vic killed him, it would spark a gang war. If he killed Vic, it would be the same.

But he could see how Vic ran them into a dead end, too self-absorbed, too distant, too uncaring and it frustrated him that he could do nothing but watch. He managed to persuade him one time to take action but how long until Vic’s pride made him deaf? How long would Vic’s supporters stand by and just watch him whispering ideas into his head? How long would Hunter’s supporters let themselves be led by someone they considered weak?

Everything spelled disaster and his own death in the making. Their situation was just a stalemate to prolong their situation and waited for something, anything to happen that might prevent this outcome.

Hunter stared ahead.

It was making him restless.

 

* * *

 

Lucifer stared at the horizon, eyes trailing over the ruins of the cathedral in front of them.

_„I’m surprised to hear that you actually tried to save someone.”_ The director’s voice drawled in her mind. _“Not the attitude I have expected from a murderer like yourself.”_

Her expression darkened at the memory, at his fake expression and lecture of worry that couldn’t even convince a toddler. Pathetically fake, all of him, so much in fact that she had wanted to laugh at his act and tell him that he should put a little bit of effort into his performance.

But she hadn’t as she was barely biting back the words of disgust that lay heavy on her tongue even now and bare her teeth at him like an aggressive animal. Frustration had hit a peak after the knowledge was left to fester the last couple of days and with it, the promised satisfaction of the hunt faltered.

Lindow never came to their game that night a couple of days ago, apologizing that something came up that he had to deal with first and after that, she was scheduled to test new kinds of weapons that were shipped in the other day. The director had no qualms in pushing her to her limits, so much in fact that the scientist warned him that it might be too much for her or her bias factor to handle.

He didn’t care.

And she was suitably punished for her disobedience, for her daring display that she had no qualms in stepping out of line.

She could see it in his eyes, in the way he spoke out the word ‘murderer’ how little her life was worth to him. How he watched her slaying one target after the other, swamped the training simulations with fake Orgetails just to see how the weapon fared ‘under stress’.

_More. More. **More**._

She could see this look in his eyes. Had seen them so many times before.

_“Dare to defy me…And I will do worse than this.”_

Training their subjects and taking any will to fight from them, to do their bidding. Such kind of people disgusted her more than anything she was ever forced to do.

Grey colored eyes watched her in the dark, a wicked chuckle echoed in her mind.

Her grip intensified around the handle.

“…Rookie.”

Lucifer played her cards, gave Lindow a suitable excuse to access the files to force him to dig deeper into the issue of the disaster of a mission they had a couple of days ago. The feeling had not gone away that there had been something seriously wrong with the way the director phrased his condolences and dismissed it as a necessary sacrifice.

“Hey, Rookie, are you listening?”

Her shoulders tensed for a second, then she slowly turned her gaze to Lindow who frowned and placed his hands on his hips.

“I’m used to Kota zoning out here and there...” He rubbed his neck, the look of worry plain on his face. “I know you are probably excited to try your new weapon out but…”

That was not the reason. Both knew as much and she suspected that Tsubaki had told him about the training. Maybe, somewhere he felt guilty because he went through with her request and hint to use her.

Her lips pressed into a thin line.

Such feelings were unbecoming of a spy, or whatever he was trying to do here. She offered herself willingly. She didn’t regret that and so he shouldn’t too. Sometimes such actions were necessary.

“I listened, Mr. Amamiya. A simple sweep-up mission. We separate and deal with the Aragami ourselves and move towards the cathedral.” She recounted the practice and strategy of what came to her just in syllables after listening just half-aware to them and filled in the gaps.

“Could have fooled me with that wayward stare.” He threw her another short glance before turning back to the team. All she heard was that he wasn’t coming with them and with that, her interest with this conversation was gone. She needed to vent out her frustrations.

_“Like a rabid dog.” His_ voice whispered into her ear again. _“How much longer until you are being put down?”_

It crackled, her hand around the God Arc handle began to feel numb as her knuckles turned white.

_“In their and our eyes, you are just dirty, filthy scum of no worth.”_

Something came closer. A glimmer of metal shortly flashed in her eyes and she just reacted. Her free hand darted out to get hold of the invader. Her fingers warped around a delicate pale wrist, one of her legs were already moving to shift her weight to disarm the person daring to come close.

But she stopped at that, trying to force her instinct down as the sudden loss of control unnerved her. Sakuya blinked at her, confused, surprised and slightly alarmed.

“Ah…” Lucifer paused as an awkward silence filled the air and she immediately let go. A couple of eyes were burning into her body with unasked questions. “I apologize.”

“Lucifer.” Sakuya started carefully as if she was trying to calm down a startled animal. “Are you feeling well enough to do this mission?”

Her unfocused behavior might have caused some justified cause of worry. An unfocused person was a liability and could get someone killed. Naturally, she would point it out, ask her again since she had still the chance to back out. Lucifer’s eyes flickered back to the other for a moment. They were frowning at her. She lessened her grip on her weapon, letting the tip of the spear slightly sliding forward towards the ground it was pointing at.

Then she rolled her shoulders, eyes focusing on Sakuya.

“I’m fully capable.” To blow off steam and get her thoughts in order.

She seemed unconvinced. Her gaze turned to Lindow who had crossed his arms before his chest. A frown graced his features too.

“You sure? I know the training was…”

Then her grip intensified again around her weapon before it fell out of her hands. “I feel fine.”

“Overconfidence will only get you killed here, rookie.” Soma tossed in. “So stay here and out of the way. Like this you are useless.”

Just for a second, her frustration hit a peak and she wanted to put him into his place.

_Useless, crippled, sick_. It was the same as calling her a dead woman walking which she already was but it stung all the same.

Lucifer drew her eyebrows together and frowned at him for a split second but she conceded that his observation wasn’t entirely wrong from his perspective. They didn’t know and probably never would know who she was and she was still a rookie in terms of being a God Eater.

Her insistence to fight even though she showed that she wasn’t concentrating on the mission, was something a naïve newcomer would do. And especially, her disobedience would cast this into a new light. She had proven to be a soldier who would disobey orders and her failure to actually show that she regretted it, was not a good way to go.

She let out a sigh, trying to wing it with an excuse. Again.

The frown that graced her forehead deepened at the thought.

This was slowly getting out of hand. Maybe she had lost their touch with other, new people. In the past, her pensive look was never really questioned or they simply left her simply to her own devices. A luxury that she began to miss dearly right now.

“Not quite a case of overconfidence.” Lucifer disagreed. “I apologize for my…mental absence. I just thought that our tactic – while efficient to cover more ground – is putting us at a severe disadvantage when something bigger turns up.”

It was complete and utter bullshit but she couldn’t be exactly picky with what she had. Every strategy had its drawbacks and no mission was to a hundred percent guaranteed to work without risks. Even if it happened, she trusted that the others would survive until help arrived.

And if they didn’t then it was simply that way.

For their mission and the targets that they knew it was the perfect strategy to start with.

Her leader hummed under his breath. “What happened on the other mission wasn’t quite…normal.” She noticed how careful he was with saying it although he was just giving her a shrug.

“It _can_ happen.” The hooded one disagreed, sounding annoyed as if she had asked a dumb question. “But it’s rare.”

“And we could deal with it, either way, right?” Kota said with a lazy grin. He nudged her slightly in the elbow in the side.

“You don’t have to worry…” Sakuya still eyed her, carefully but the worry was gone and replaced by a rather motherly gaze. “We are keeping an eye out for anomalies.”

“Actually…” Lindow awkwardly cleared his throat. “ _You_ will. I…kind of have a hot date to deal with first.”

All of them knew what that meant judging by their looks. Well, everyone outside of Kota and Alisa it seemed as the first just frowned in confusion and the latter just huffed and shook her head.

“Then I wish you a safe journey. And don’t flirt too much. You have the tendency to do that.” Her dry reply rose some eyebrows. Lindow opened his mouth and stayed silent for a couple of seconds.  And then he laughed.

“Starting to get jealous?” He teased back with a cat-like smirk.

“Don’t push your luck, Mr. Amamiya.” She replied. “That aside…letting your date wait is bad practice.”

“Can’t argue with that. Sakuya, you are in charge. Remember the big rule:’Don’t die’ and we will see each other later.”

“They are your rules, so make sure you follow them. Just get out of here and let us work,” Soma muttered under his breath but Lindow just gave him a smile as he turned and left.

“Well, that speech was short.” Kota pointed out as he watched him.

“You won’t last long if you start asking him to do that.” Sakuya retorted with a chuckle and a sigh. “Let’s get going. The sooner we are finished, the more we can relax.”

Lucifer highly doubted that.

 

* * *

 

 

The day was nearing its end. Lindow sat there waiting, arms on the back of the couch he was sitting on and his eyes on the gate of the elevator. His tense muscles stung whenever he inhaled and he tried to move as little as possible to keep up his calm appearance. Fighting an oversized cat was no problem but no, the director had sent him against an eldritch abomination of the size of a small mountain.

**_Alone_**.

Nothing screamed more than _‘I want you dead’_ than that. Some people got flowers, some got even a card with the lovely inscription of ‘I hope you die’ and he got the oversized monsters because the director doesn’t do things subtle sometimes.

_“I don’t get paid enough for this job.”_ He thought bitterly to himself as he forced his lips into a smile.

Lucifer’s warning, as always, was just the icing on the cake. Like she suggested, he asked around about what happened on mission and like he suspected there was nothing out of the ordinary beside one thing that the guy told him.

_“They just appeared. As we activated the device, they suddenly appeared out of nowhere.”_

It could be a report of a young fellow who was thoroughly traumatized by the event. The guy was stressed, almost lost a teammate and saw the people they were supposed to protect shredded in seconds. He thought about asking Soma about it. Rough and asocial as the young man was, he was his go-to person when it came to Aragami science and technology and how it worked. He would know if it was possible to create a device that summoned or lured Aragami. But he didn’t want to raise more red lights than he already had.

He heard footsteps approaching and he looked towards the elevator.

 “Well, look what the cat dragged in.” His smile widened, seeing them all unharmed.

Sakuya was up at the front, giving him a pleased smile. “How did it go?”

“Fine, warped up the evening early. As per your request. You?”

“Everybody came back. As per your request.” Sakuya smiled at him as she put a hand on her hip. But he knew she wasn’t really. She was mustering him with worry. His gaze wandered to Soma who returned his gaze, eyes narrowing and arms crossing before his chest.

He could probably smell the blood.

“You should have seen us, man. We kicked all kinds of ass out there!” Kota seemed to be satisfied with the result before he gazed at Lucifer who was as stoic and apathetic to the situation as usual. Even as Kota pocked her in the side again. “Hey, do you believe they will make me a spear too? The moves you pulled off looked like right out of an action movie.”

Alisa groaned to his side and turned her disapproving gaze at Lucifer.

“Even if it’s a spear, it isn’t meant to be thrown.”

_“Throw?”_ Lindow repeated in his thoughts but stayed silent. He almost regretted not being there.

“It did the job all the same.” Lucifer’s expression didn’t even flinch. “I thought it would be quicker to get the Orgetail off your back.”

“You have a _gun-form_.” Alisa pointed out.

The older woman just shrugged at Alisa’s raising infuriation. “I’m better in knife-throwing as with guns.”

Alisa’s right hand wandered to her face and onto her forehead as if she was battling an oncoming migraine while Lucifer’s green eyes watched with a slight spark of amusement. It was quite apparent after their meetings that she enjoyed railing people up for whatever reason if she got the chance. Curiously, she never did that with Kota. She was patient him and didn’t resort to teasing.

_“Attention…”_ The sudden announcement rang through his ears and he closed his eyes, cursing the timing. He could practically feel how Sakuya’s face drained of blood as they called the scientists and mechanics to extract an Ouroboros core. The main hall suddenly bustled with sounds and whispers.

Lindow cracked an eye open.

“An Ouroboros? What’s that?” Kota tilted his head. The significance of this message flew right over his head. Soma’s shoulders dropped a little with the sigh that escaped him. He looked annoyed. _Someone_ tried this patience today.

“If you did your research for once, you would know. It’s on Norn.” He grumbled.

“A dreadnought class Aragami.” Lucifer offered. “One of the strongest Aragami that we know as of now.”

“Yeah and I don’t think we are ready for it yet,” Sakuya said with a rather nervous chuckle.

“But we rock. Like really hard.” Kota was ambitious, Lindow would give him that.

“We would die. Like really hard.” Soma mocked him. The corners of Lucifer’s lips trembled slightly upwards but she kept her face otherwise normal.

The banter went a little bit back and forth and he took it as an opportunity to simply slip away. The moment he stood up and turned towards the stairs, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

And saw Sakuya donning a very sinister, friendly smile.

Needless to say, she insisted – as in blackmailed him – to go to the sickbay and take care of the couple of bruises he had. Luckily, she just left it there, sparing the little bit of dignity he still had.

The sickbay was empty, as usual as, at this time of the day. He beelined directly to the cabinet at the other edge of the room to collect the supplies that he needed. Something against frostbite and new bandages, specifically. He then wrote the items on a note and left it on the metal desk across from him, so the doctors knew what to replenish.

Just as he set the piece of paper down, he noticed something moving in the corner of his eye. Carefully and slowly he sat the vial and bandages down, his instincts kicking into gear in almost an instant. He didn’t believe that the director would be that cocky to send someone to kill him in the sickbay and in the middle of the den of all places but he rather was safe than to be sorry.

“…Sneaking up to someone isn’t very polite, you know.” Lindow said, looking over his shoulder to see no one than hearing the soft rustling of clothes to his other side.

“I apologize.” The voice was soft, feminine and calm although he noted an underlining tone of amusement somewhere in it. “Old habits die hard.”

_Lucifer._

He should have expected it. No one he knew except for her, was that quiet on her feet in the den. His gaze wandered to the other side, seeing the smaller female standing by the cabinet. In the dimly lit room, she almost seemed to meld into the shadows due to her dark get up. Well, outside the pale skin that stood in stark contrast to the dark and the dim glow of her eyes that gave her away.

“It seems that the date went well although your chosen one did get a little bit clingy.” She spoke and tilted her head.

“What I can say.” He gave her a shrug and a sigh. “The ladies love me.”

“Of course they do.” Then she turned and took a roll of bandage out of the cabinet herself.

“Did you get injured?”

“No, the other one opened up.” She opened her jacket, showing him the white shirt underneath. It had begun to soak itself red on one side.

His eyebrows wrinkled in worry.

“It didn’t heal?”

“When should it have healed? I was barely one day of duty.” Even so, the injury should be healed by now. A normal God Eater would have healed by now. Then he remembered back the files from the doctor. She was malnourished. That suboptimal condition of her body could have such side-effects like slower regeneration.

For some reason, it made him angry. The director probably knew but that didn’t stop him.

“The bandages are just a safety measure.” Lucifer continued as she bottomed her jacket back up. “I don’t want to change the bed sheets again.”

She sounded more annoyed that she had an additional chore to do than really caring that such a thing could kill her.

“…But since we are somewhere without security cameras and alone, I thought I could as well warn you.”

Every muscle stiffened in his body. “About what?”

“The girl,” Lucifer said. “I don’t have any proof but she’s definitely a sign of trouble. Be wary and see that you are not alone with her.”

“And the concrete reason why I should be?”

Then he saw something flicker over her expression that he had never seen before. A short flash of anger crossed her face, cold and stinging. Her whole body was tensing up and one hand balled into a fist.

Then with one exhale it was gone.

“People like her are easily manipulated. A frail mental condition and a motive for revenge are the perfect ingredients for a disaster.” She explained. “Especially her mental state causes me concern.”

“You know that she’s getting treatment, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but the one who's treating her is endorsed by none other than the director.”

As much as he hated to say it, she had a point. He had the feeling that something like that might come up as he had the suspicions himself. He didn’t exactly know what Alisa was used _for_ , just that she probably was being used. Lindow let out a sigh, his shoulders sunk slightly with it.

Yet, without evidence, his hands were tied, not that transferring said information might save his life at this point. This pesky little voice inside his head muttered that until the main branch moved out and actually did something, things would have gone to hell here. The director already had its eyes on him and if he acted the least bit more suspicious, that man probably would set his plan immediately in motion.

Lindow rubbed his chin. While the director’s eyes were focused on him now, he could probably slip some information to the others. Lucifer was a suitable candidate for it but he didn’t know if he could trust her fully with it. The safest bet was to give it to someone whom he knew would do the right thing and was clever enough to read the cues that he gave them.

_Sakuya_.

His heart constricted at the thought. He had done all this to _not_ drag her into this mess and if she knew, Soma won’t be far behind. Not to mention that Kota would be caught in this mess too if both of them went rogue. That kid didn’t deserve it after being forced to join the God Eaters not so long ago. He realized far too late that he had damned them all by mere association.

Lucifer watched him. Her stare felt like she was trying to pry him open and read him like a book.

He needed every ally he could get.

“I have a favor to ask.”

Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms before her chest. Lindow took it as a sign to continue.

“Keep an eye on Alisa and the others for me.”

Her eyebrows wrinkled and she didn’t seem pleased at all.

“Pray tell why I should?”

He almost winced at the cold, razor-sharp tone of her voice. She knew what the request inclined and he had the feeling that appealing to her good nature wouldn’t work. The woman had made it clear a couple of times. There needed to be a reward, an exchange or she won’t move a finger.

“Don’t know what you want for it. Never had to deal with a devil before. So…How does that soul selling thing work? Do I have to sign a contract with my own blood or something like that?”

The joke earned him a chuckle. At least something. “I’m not interested in your soul. It doesn’t quite meet my personal preferences. A pity, really.”

Then she paused, staying silent for a couple of seconds as if she considered the offer.

“Hmm…a favor would probably the most suitable reward.” She finally answered. “But be aware, whatever it is, you have to follow it through. No questions asked. If you don’t…” Lucifer paused, green eyes flaring up. “I will make you wish that I just took your life as an exchange.”

He had to admit that she was quite unnerving sometimes and the seriousness in her tone didn’t make it better.

“But...” She called for his attention again. “I will give you time to reconsider. No need to rush such an important decision.”

For all the obviously evil antics she displayed, she was oddly fair. If she gave her word, she was bound to it but there had to be a reason why she didn’t force these terms on him right away.

His hand wandered to his jacket pocket, clutching around the disc-shaped item within.

He had to make sure it would land in good hands. In his mind, he already practiced the words that he would use to greet Sakuya later and a suitable excuse to divert her attention.

She was smart and he trusted her to turn that thing around if he couldn’t.


End file.
